This morning’s walk was sponsored by the following: 1 can Budweiser, 1 can The Beast, 2 cans Bud Light, a dive-bombing horsefly and a cock-eyed cat.
It was a good morning for a walk, despite the fact that at 6 am it was already 80 degrees and the air was as thick as creamed corn. But that was okay, because I was up before the alarm and ready to go.
The walk was going very well until the dive-bombing horsefly found me. That bugger wouldn’t go away! I’m sure I was quite the sight, flailing my arms about trying to defend myself from his suicidal attacks. Thank God the bombing started on a dead end street. If I had been on my normal jaunt, I probably would’ve flung myself into traffic trying to escape.
Once I rid myself of the kamikazi fly, (may he rest in peace. I hope his tribe appreciated his sacrifice) I headed into the park. Early mornings in the park are so pleasant. Usually, I’m alone…occasionally I pass by an old woman or the clean up crew. Today, it was me, the birds, a couple of critters…and the cock-eyed cat.
Do you remember Bill the Cat from Bloom County? Okay, so today, I met him in person.
During my first trip around the trail, I felt eyes on me. (Turned out it was “eye” not eyes, but that’s neither here nor there) I scanned the woods searching for my voyeur. Was it some creepoid? Was it just one of the cleaning crew? Was it the kamikaze fly back for his revenge?
I walked around the playground and still felt the
eyes eye. My hair stood on end as goosebumps exploded across my skin…I turned my head to the right, and standing on top of this giant pile of mulch, I see Bill the Cat.
This poor cock-eyed cat should’ve been a cartoon. Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to “catch” him staring at me, because once I made eye contact (I hope it was the good eye) he freaked, puffed up like a blowfish and took off.
However, he never really left. I felt him staring the rest of my walk. He just found a better hiding place.
Talked to both of the lads yesterday. I still miss them terribly. How sad is that? Well, as their older, wiser, and much better looking sister, I suppose it’s okay for me to miss them.
T minus 2 days til I leave for Hotlanta! Can’t wait! Maybe I’ll start packing tonight. Bwahahahahaha! Who am I kidding.