Once upon a time, there was a feisty-once-blonde-now-red-head named Melf. Oh wait, that’s a fairytale beginning…this isn’t a fairytale!
2009 was a big year for me. My second book was due in February and in early January, it was barely half written. I started working part-time, was still a full-time mother, and had long ago forgotten what sleep was. I was falling into a very deep depression because my 16 year marriage was falling apart and then in March, I was gonna be 40 years old.
I never worried about being 40 before. Age is a number and I certainly don’t feel that 40 is old. (and can I say, after being carded twice last week, I don’t feel 41 is old either) But with so many life changes happening at once, I was starting to dread my birthday. Hell, I was dreading getting out of bed everyday.
I have never dreaded my birthday. I’ve always had to plan it myself (yes, including most of my own gifts) but even though I was the one planning my annual birthday trip to Oaklawn & dinner at the Brau Haus, I still loved it. I think everyone should embrace their day. It’s magical.
So the fact that I was becoming sad about my birthday worried me. I had been trying to take control of my life…something I had lost a long time ago. I was planning to run my first 5K, I was exercising and losing weight, I had surrounded myself with wonderful people…but still, something was missing.
That something was me…I was relying on others to make me happy and that just wasn’t okay.
I needed to find some self-fulfillment. I was finally self-aware. I knew the marriage was crumbling, I had turned my book in, and I needed to figure out how to find happiness during what felt like the darkest time of my life.
And that’s when THE MONTH OF MEL was born.
I decided I was worth having a month to myself. I created my 40 Things to do at 40 list, (which I think actually only had like 36 items on it) and I began to live the month of March like it was made for me.
And by the end of that month, I had found my sparkle again.
Now, the MONTH OF MEL is a tongue-in-cheek celebration of me. Trust me, I learned the hard way, if I don’t celebrate me, nobody will.
And dammit, I’m worth celebrating.
We all are.
I encourage you all to adopt your birthday month. Celebrate yourself. Find your sparkle. Believe me, if I can find mine again, anyone can…