Literally. I started a job this week. I’ll be working 3 days a week in accounting. I really like the company and the people I’m working with.

But being back in the corporate environment after taking an 18 month hiatus is a little strange. This is what I’ve discovered so far:

• New Employee Orientation is the same everywhere. I think it should only be a requirement if you’re a new graduate. I don’t need you to go over every sheet of paperwork with me one-by-one. I’m a big girl. I can figure out how to do my taxes, my 401k, my health insurance. This is not my first rodeo.
• Office coffee is just bad (apparently except on the 10th floor where HR is. Not sure why, but believe me, I’m making friends with the HR folks for the coffee alone) Thank goodness they have liquid creamer to help ease the pain of bad coffee.
• Jeans on Friday only. Just. Shoot. Me. I work Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday. I’ve been wearing yoga pants or jeans and t-shirts for forever now. Even my last ‘corporate’ job didn’t care what I wore. Now I have to play dress up? Even business casual is hard for me to pull off these days.
• Cube environment is a strange beast. Thankfully, we have the full-sized cube walls, so there’s no ‘prairie dogging’ going on. But there is a lot of speaker phone calls. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. Ever. Go to a conference room. Please. And if you can’t, pick up the phone. And if you can’t, GET A FUCKING HEADSET. That is all. Yesterday, 2 people were on speaker, with each other. One in an office across from me, one three cubes down from me. Maybe they could’ve just talked in person? Yes…Yes, that would’ve been better.
• I ♥ office supplies.
• Another thing about cube-ville? The conversations that go on around you. I’m bringing my iPod today.

I’m actually really glad to be back at work. I’ve missed people. I’ve missed conversation. I’ve also missed the steady paycheck.

Today’s note from the Universe:

It’s the exact same for me, Melissa. My love goes unreturned, I feel completely unappreciated, or some clown starts telling me what’s wrong with the world (my world!). And so, I have to remind myself that I am the Universe, that this is an adventure, and that one day they will come to know the errors in their thinking. And, not that it matters at all, but I secretly hope that on that day I just happen to be carried past them, sitting in my processional throne, followed by throngs of admirers, with all the Angels singing, “We are the champions, my friends…”

Melissa, you are the Universe, this is an adventure, and they will learn.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Seriously, how much do I love the Universe?