Born and bred in Arkansas, Melissa Francis is a small town southern girl with big city dreams. (Okay, she dreams of big city shoes, but there’s nowhere to wear them ’round these parts. Plus she really is a barefoot girl at heart.) The University of Arkansas at Little Rock allowed her to graduate with an English degree, but many of her friends wonder how when she uses words like y’all, dunno, gonna, and fixin’ to. Her favorite phrase is “Woo Pig Sooie!” and she’ll be glad to explain what that means over a (preferably dark) beer. Unless you’re underage, then she’ll explain over a nice cup of peppermint tea.

Her debut novel titled Bite Me! hit the shelves Fall 2009 and the follow up, Love Sucks! followed in 2010. Mel totally expects everyone who has met her, talked to her, emailed her, or uttered her name to buy at least two copies.

The Pivot Questionnaire

Stolen (without shame) directly from the Inside the Actor’s Studio. Thank you, James Lipton.

1. What is your favorite word?

Smegma. Seriously. It is the best word ever. Just say it once and you’re hooked. But you have to say it right: Shhhhhmegma. 2nd favorite word is interloper.

2. What is your least favorite word?

No. I don’t like to hear it. (although I do enjoy saying it)

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

The beach or any body of water. Touch. Laughter. Positivity.

4. What turns you off?

Negativity. Fake people. Dishonesty. General “dick” behavior.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

I love a baby’s giggle. I love the sound of high heels clicking across a wooden floor. I love the little purr-growl my pug makes when she’s playing.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

Clipping toenails. Yelling and fighting. Squeaking styrofoam.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck. I love the shock value it gets and how descriptive it can be. It is a great word. (and if you’re my child and reading this, the rule still stands. No speaky-speaky until you’re 18. When you can elect our President, then you can say Fuck all you want.) 2nd: Asshat

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Acting.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Any job featured on Dirty Jobs. Also, I would very much like to avoid being in Middle Management.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Dude, I read your blog!