Yo. ‘Sup? Anything goin’ on I need to know about?

No? Hmmm.

What am I going to blog about today? I have no idea. I think I’ll make a list.

Things that bug me.

1. Men with mustaches. The 2 exceptions to this rule: Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot If you are not either one of those men, shave the fucking ‘stache. Now.
2. Bowls left in the sink with either oatmeal or mac and cheese residue. You know, it takes an extra 5 seconds to run water in the bowl. Just do it.
3. The sound of clipping toenails.
4. People who clip their toenails anywhere in the house other than the bathroom over the trashcan.
5. People who clip their toenails at work (it has happened. Trust me.) That is a fireable offense.
6. Too much cologne. Men and women both fall victim to this travesty. If I can follow your trail of stink, you’re wearing too much. If I can come into the office 5 minutes after you’ve left and identify you by smell, you’re wearing too much.
7. Burnt coffee.
8. Frenemies. You’re either my friend, or you’re not.
9. The size of my ass. Why can’t I just dream it away? Why must I go back to the gym? It’s not fair.
10. When the toilet paper is facing the wrong way. It should always be under. But don’t worry, I’ll fix it for you when I’m visiting…
11. People who have no sense of humor.

What bugs you?