finding your way


When I was 18, I wanted to become an actress. I wanted to follow in Meg Ryan’s footsteps and go to NY first and land a role on a Soap Opera, where I could kiss all those hot actors (of course, I would’ve probably been cast as the maid LOL), get famous for being so cute and land a great movie role.

I daydreamed that a lot, but I didn’t go for it because I was too scared. As oppositional as I was (okay, still am) in nature, hearing my mother explain to me in practical terms why it was a bad idea and I would never find the success I was looking for seeped into my brain. I went to college and got a job delivering pizzas instead. (Still one of my favorite all time jobs to this day.)

It took me a long time to find my way to writing. I worked in Daycare for 10 years off and on, thinking one day I would become a teacher. I managed a Bath and Body works for a couple of years, I was a fraud analyst at a telecommunications company where I caught bad guys who cloned phones (this is before digital) I’ve served enough food and drink as a waitress to feed a 3rd world country. We moved to Oxford and I fell into a job doing HR and Travel, and that eventually led me to a job in Accounting. (Yes, accounting. Stop laughing. Seriously. Stop.)

By the time we moved to Oxford, I was writing. I had started 2 books, both that should and will remain unfinished. Very. Bad. Stuff. But writing them gave me the fever. Because of the way I write, I see the books as movies, so I’m kinda getting my acting fix. And I get to daydream all day. Which I’ve always done anyway. Bonus!

This was the first time in my life that I pursued something I wanted to do. On my own–with no real idea if I would be successful. Fishdog would work long hours and I would write after the kids were in bed. I wrote on the weekends a lot. It became a passion. I got better at it. And in 2007 I sold my first book. (BITE ME! hits the shelves Oct. 2009. Don’t forget!)

It took me a long time to find my path. I was 29 years old when I started writing. I have no idea if I should’ve gone to NY and pursued my acting career. Maybe my insecurities then were in place to keep me searching until I could find my confidence and find my path. I’m glad I finally did. If you haven’t found yours yet, the good news is, it’s never too late to start looking.

BTW: The Universe was deep again today:

Melissa, nothing is ever lost. Not time; for what seems to have passed, lives on in the wisdom of future decisions. Not money; for what seems to have been spent, was only invested. And not love; for what seems to have vanished, has only moved so close you must look within your heart to see it.

Here and now, Melissa, whether or not it’s obvious, you are the best you’ve ever been.

So proud,
The Universe

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