Dear Ian, I mean, Nemo,

You don’t look like this anymore

or this:

or this:

or even this:

But you’ll always be my baby. I can’t believe you’re 15 years old today. First of all, I’m way too young, and way too hot to be the mother of a 15 year old child. Secondly, what happened to the tee-tiny little baby, whose butt was so small it fit in the palm of my hand?

I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming (even though your grades still need some work.) (You knew I had to mention your grades, right?)

You know I how much I love you when I’m willing to give up a day in the MONTH OF MEL! just for you!