This was sent to me by my friend Marley Gibson and I have to say, I’m laughing my ass off.

Is it that funny? you ask.

Well, yeah. It’s funny. But not for the reason you’re thinking.

It’s funny because, I just discovered, I’m a man. LOL

———————————————————————————-
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Feb. 27, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 1 doesn’t apply to me. At this point, I’m laughing, but I’m still a woman.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.
Okay, we’re sneaking into iffy ground, here. I usually change the roll…but not always.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PMfor 2 hours.
I’m DEFINITELY STILL A WOMAN HERE.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor —
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.
ooops. This is the beginning of the end for me. I just throw my clothes in the general direction of the hamper. Usually. Sometimes, I just leave them wherever I shed them

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Heh. Guilty. This is why I have kids.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
This is why we have 3 TVs. I control the living room remote. If you don’t want to watch what I’m watching, go somewhere else.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
I do NOT do this. The husband, he does.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Do NOT bring me a flower for my birthday, mother’s day, our anniversary, or valentine’s day. It is NOT romantic, it’s a cop out. Bring me flowers because it’s Wednesday.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Again, I’m bad about this. My husband will stop. Better yet, he brings a map AND he knows how to use it.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Does not apply.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Heh. That cracked me up. Does not apply to me. Not much.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
I love to shop, I hate shopping with Mark. My GOD he takes for-fucking-ever. And then, he just gets the same damn style of shirt as always. You’d think he’d be able to run in, pick up the checked shirt of a different color and run out. But no, he has to run in, investigate all the checked shirts. Debate on which color checked shirt is best. Try on the checked shirts. Compare the prices. Ask if it’s on clearance. Walk around carrying the checked shirt while deciding whether or not you really want to buy the checked shirt. Look at new jeans. Decide they are too expensive. Take back one of the two checked shirts you’ve been carrying around for 1 hour and finally buy the one checked shirt.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Heh. Doesn’t Apply.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Doesn’t apply. Mark and I both cook equally.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.