sucked in

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You’ll notice from my Twitter announcements on the side that I was sucked in to The Bachelorette last night. Sigh. I don’t know why I do this to myself. Seriously.

Once you start watching, you can’t look away. It’s a proven fact!
Last night did not disappoint in the realm of what-the-fuckedness. (new word. add it to your daily glossary) We had a dude I now call “Football-for-Jesus”. Look, I have no problem with your faith being #1 in your life, but c’mon. You don’t proclaim Jesus and I’m a virgin the moment you step off the limo. Dude is a pro-football player. Too bad I can’t remember his real name or I’d google him. Hang on, let me see…Okay, his name is Ryan and he plays football in Minneapolis. I’ll admit to gaping at the TV when Deanna gave “Football-for-Jesus” dude a rose.

But the biggest shocker? When she kept the Karate Kid.

O.M.G

Dude was the biggest knob. An absolute tool.

First off, his hair was a hot, greasy, mess. Usually I dig long hair, not on this dude. Secondly, did I mention that he was a knob? Cuz he was.

Many of the guys were doing stupid things to get Deanna’s attention. One dude jumped into the pool with his suit on, then took it off, showing the world his speedo bathing suit with Deanna’s name printed on the bottom.
One dude called her with a duck-call. Yeah. I’m not kidding.
But the Karate Kid? He took the snowboarder dude (who I actually really liked) and placed a lemon on a plastic cup on top of the snowboarder’s head and then kicked it off. Like a 13 year old boy trying to impress a girl in front of his gang. Snowboarder dude said, “If you miss, when I wake up, I’m gonna punch you in the balls five times.” Awesome.

But Deanna ended up giving the Karate Kid a rose. I’m sure she was instructed to keep him. That’s the only reason I can imagine why she would’ve. Biggest. Knob. Ever.
The best part about watching the show? Fishdog watched with me. His commentary was priceless. I may never watch this show without him again.

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