Gather ’round Internetz. Melf has a very important public service announcement.

There are two men and only two men in this world who can wear a mustache.

Sam Elliot

and Tom Selleck

Do you know why I bring this up? Because of this: Movember

The Mo, slang for moustache, and November come together each year for Movember.

Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shavenand then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days.

Ok, I applaud the out of the box thinking on this, however, I am concerned about subjecting the public to an over abundance of 70s Porn ‘staches. We survived it once, I’m not sure we, as a society, will be able to survive it again.

Please, if you’re considering this…PLEASE understand that you will not ever be Sam Elliot or Tom Selleck and you will be opening yourself up to a month-long ridicule…The ‘stache, the Mo, the lip catepillar…it needs to remain in the 70s.

Now, if you wanna grow a beard or a goatee that’s long enough for me to play with and braid…GO FOR IT, ROY!

Just say no to the mo…