Yes, we’ll miss you. You were one of the best players Survivor has ever seen.

But I have to give Dudd his props. He’s much more in control than I thought he was. Wow. Who’d-a-thunk-it?

Goodbye Gary. You were a helluva player. I hope Survivor will survive without you.

Good luck, Rafe. Kick Ass.

(can Mormons be gay? Rafe said he was a gay mormon on tonight’s show and I thougth that maybe I heard wrong…anyone want to correct me?)

Yes, we’ll miss you. You were one of the best players Survivor has ever seen.

But I have to give Dudd his props. He’s much more in control than I thought he was. Wow. Who’d-a-thunk-it?

Goodbye Gary. You were a helluva player. I hope Survivor will survive without you.

Good luck, Rafe. Kick Ass.

(can Mormons be gay? Rafe said he was a gay mormon on tonight’s show and I thougth that maybe I heard wrong…anyone want to correct me?)

If you laughed at the Vin Diesel list, be prepared to laugh some more….

—————————–
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face andtook his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t fuck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn’t give him exact change.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.”, then you are dead wrong.

Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn’t a racist.

If you laughed at the Vin Diesel list, be prepared to laugh some more….

—————————–
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face andtook his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t fuck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn’t give him exact change.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.”, then you are dead wrong.

Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn’t a racist.

Well, it’ll be quiet here for the next few days. Here being my blog that is.

We’ll play host to a house full of people tomorrow. Then Friday morning, we’ll be taking the mutts to hang out at the Doggie Spa until Monday while we embark on a 6 hour drive to Mobile, AL. My husband’s godson is getting baptized Sunday, so we’re going down to play a little early.

More than likely the spiders will take over here while I’m gone…I’ll sweep the cobwebs down as soon as I get home.

Meanwhile, why don’t you tell me your favorite part of the holidays. It can be whatever…food, drink, family, football, solitary confinement…I don’t care.

I’ll start.

My favorite part of the holiday, hands down, is my pies. 🙂

#2 is the wine. LOL

Well, it’ll be quiet here for the next few days. Here being my blog that is.

We’ll play host to a house full of people tomorrow. Then Friday morning, we’ll be taking the mutts to hang out at the Doggie Spa until Monday while we embark on a 6 hour drive to Mobile, AL. My husband’s godson is getting baptized Sunday, so we’re going down to play a little early.

More than likely the spiders will take over here while I’m gone…I’ll sweep the cobwebs down as soon as I get home.

Meanwhile, why don’t you tell me your favorite part of the holidays. It can be whatever…food, drink, family, football, solitary confinement…I don’t care.

I’ll start.

My favorite part of the holiday, hands down, is my pies. 🙂

#2 is the wine. LOL

Flitwick – Charms

Harry Potter: Which Hogwarts professor would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Flitwick – Charms

Harry Potter: Which Hogwarts professor would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla

I have nothing in particular to talk about today, so I’m just going to ramble on with a sprinkling of what’s inside my head.

Warning: Do not enter without proper neck gear. Whiplash has been known to occur to those unprepared for the Random Thoughts of Mel.

*a tumbleweed blows by*

Hmmm. Maybe my DSL connection to the thought box is broken. Let me try dial up.

*screech, squeal, screech, squeal, dong*

Please be patient while the thoughts are loading…

*another tumbleweed blows by*

Fine. I have nothing to talk about. Not really. I could talk about my sweet husband who tried to do me a favor by buying the turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. It was great…honestly. But I can’t help but give him a hard time. HE BOUGHT A 19 lb. TURKEY AND 9 lb. HAM.

Holy mother of meat. That’s alot-a food. He says a little assistance would’ve been great on my part. And he’s right, it probably would’ve been…except he had called 4 times from the store and I was trying to write, so by the 5th call, I didn’t care if he brought home a fully-feathered Tom. Hell, he could’ve brought home an armadillo at that point.

So, when he brought the meat home, I was completely grateful. (and I still am, though we’re gonna be eating a lot of flipping turkey and ham for a very long time) So, I pulled the turkey out of the bag and nearly threw my back out. 19.27 pounds at .89 a lb. Sure, it’s a great price. IT’S A BIG FUCKING BIRD.

Then comes the ham. Now, many of you know that my husband is quite frugal. He is. He doesn’t want to spend $50 on shoes he’ll wear for 5 years when I wouldn’t blink an eye at paying 3 times that for shoes I’ll wear twice. So, imagine my surprise when I pull the 9 lb pig from the bag. It’s a beautiful spriral cut bone in ham. It cost $35.

$35!

Now, he kept showing me the receipt “I saved us $30! look!”

You sure did, honey. You sure did.

He’s been getting a lot of flack at work for his love of meat. I decided I should share it with the cyberworld, too.

I have nothing in particular to talk about today, so I’m just going to ramble on with a sprinkling of what’s inside my head.

Warning: Do not enter without proper neck gear. Whiplash has been known to occur to those unprepared for the Random Thoughts of Mel.

*a tumbleweed blows by*

Hmmm. Maybe my DSL connection to the thought box is broken. Let me try dial up.

*screech, squeal, screech, squeal, dong*

Please be patient while the thoughts are loading…

*another tumbleweed blows by*

Fine. I have nothing to talk about. Not really. I could talk about my sweet husband who tried to do me a favor by buying the turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. It was great…honestly. But I can’t help but give him a hard time. HE BOUGHT A 19 lb. TURKEY AND 9 lb. HAM.

Holy mother of meat. That’s alot-a food. He says a little assistance would’ve been great on my part. And he’s right, it probably would’ve been…except he had called 4 times from the store and I was trying to write, so by the 5th call, I didn’t care if he brought home a fully-feathered Tom. Hell, he could’ve brought home an armadillo at that point.

So, when he brought the meat home, I was completely grateful. (and I still am, though we’re gonna be eating a lot of flipping turkey and ham for a very long time) So, I pulled the turkey out of the bag and nearly threw my back out. 19.27 pounds at .89 a lb. Sure, it’s a great price. IT’S A BIG FUCKING BIRD.

Then comes the ham. Now, many of you know that my husband is quite frugal. He is. He doesn’t want to spend $50 on shoes he’ll wear for 5 years when I wouldn’t blink an eye at paying 3 times that for shoes I’ll wear twice. So, imagine my surprise when I pull the 9 lb pig from the bag. It’s a beautiful spriral cut bone in ham. It cost $35.

$35!

Now, he kept showing me the receipt “I saved us $30! look!”

You sure did, honey. You sure did.

He’s been getting a lot of flack at work for his love of meat. I decided I should share it with the cyberworld, too.