I haven’t been inspired by a book in a very, very long time. And I certainly haven’t been moved to write an author since I wrote SEP a while back. (no, I did NOT heckle her and make her cry at last year’s RWA Conference. No matter what LUCY says…)

But I digress…

Little Earthquakes broke my dry spell. What a fantastic and complicated novel. Heartwrenching at times…and laugh out loud funny at others. I’m so envious of Jennifer Weiner’s talent. I wanna write like that!

So, I sent her an email this morning. I’ve officially written three fan letters to authors now. The first one was to Judy Blume, after I read Forever. Then to SEP for Ain’t She Sweet. And now, Jennifer Weiner.

Also, tonight I’m running out and buying the two JW books I still haven’t read.

Does that make me a fangirl?

I haven’t been inspired by a book in a very, very long time. And I certainly haven’t been moved to write an author since I wrote SEP a while back. (no, I did NOT heckle her and make her cry at last year’s RWA Conference. No matter what LUCY says…)

But I digress…

Little Earthquakes broke my dry spell. What a fantastic and complicated novel. Heartwrenching at times…and laugh out loud funny at others. I’m so envious of Jennifer Weiner’s talent. I wanna write like that!

So, I sent her an email this morning. I’ve officially written three fan letters to authors now. The first one was to Judy Blume, after I read Forever. Then to SEP for Ain’t She Sweet. And now, Jennifer Weiner.

Also, tonight I’m running out and buying the two JW books I still haven’t read.

Does that make me a fangirl?

This morning, I was sleeping peacefully, trying to enjoy my dreams.

And I would’ve enjoyed them, except that they were dreams full of farts. Now, anyone who knows me, knows I have fart issues. I’m not a fan. Do I fart? Sure. Haven’t you seen the commercial on Nickelodeon? Everybody farts! Okay, who I’m I kidding, I’m sure you haven’t seen that commercial. But suffice it to say, it’s funny, and it lets you know that everybody farts.

But I don’t care how normal it is to fart…I still don’t like them. Fishdog says I have “ass” issues. Whatever.

Anyway, back to my fart dream…in my slumber, my damn kids keep farting. It’s a game with them, of course (as it is in real life) and the more irritated I get with them, the more they fart. Loud, juicy farts. In my dream, I keep thinking, “Well, at least they don’t smell.” Then I wonder why they don’t smell…but I digress.

Finally, I woke up about in the wee hours of the morning…and I’m still hearing the farts. COME ON! I’M AWAKE ALREADY. Then I wonder if maybe I’m still asleep. But no, I’m becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. So, why do I still hear the farting?

Because the “farts” are actually my dog’s “snores”.

Jesus. Say it with me JeeeeeeeeeeeeZuuuuuuuuuuuuuus.

Charlie is the most obnoxious snorer on earth. It’s ridiculous. And last night, his snoring sounded like obnoxious farts. No wonder they didn’t “smell”. LOL

Any of you have a snoring dog? Can you relate? Does his snoring enter your dreams as farting children? Or is that just me?

I really hate farts.

This morning, I was sleeping peacefully, trying to enjoy my dreams.

And I would’ve enjoyed them, except that they were dreams full of farts. Now, anyone who knows me, knows I have fart issues. I’m not a fan. Do I fart? Sure. Haven’t you seen the commercial on Nickelodeon? Everybody farts! Okay, who I’m I kidding, I’m sure you haven’t seen that commercial. But suffice it to say, it’s funny, and it lets you know that everybody farts.

But I don’t care how normal it is to fart…I still don’t like them. Fishdog says I have “ass” issues. Whatever.

Anyway, back to my fart dream…in my slumber, my damn kids keep farting. It’s a game with them, of course (as it is in real life) and the more irritated I get with them, the more they fart. Loud, juicy farts. In my dream, I keep thinking, “Well, at least they don’t smell.” Then I wonder why they don’t smell…but I digress.

Finally, I woke up about in the wee hours of the morning…and I’m still hearing the farts. COME ON! I’M AWAKE ALREADY. Then I wonder if maybe I’m still asleep. But no, I’m becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. So, why do I still hear the farting?

Because the “farts” are actually my dog’s “snores”.

Jesus. Say it with me JeeeeeeeeeeeeZuuuuuuuuuuuuuus.

Charlie is the most obnoxious snorer on earth. It’s ridiculous. And last night, his snoring sounded like obnoxious farts. No wonder they didn’t “smell”. LOL

Any of you have a snoring dog? Can you relate? Does his snoring enter your dreams as farting children? Or is that just me?

I really hate farts.

So, I’m back. I know you missed me.

The weekend was lovely and cold. It sleeted Saturday for a while, which sounded wonderful on the tin-roofed deck at my parents lakehouse. For a little while, I bundled up in a quilt and sat outside and just enjoyed the ting and ping above me.

I did get some writing done, but I have to say, it was almost too quiet for me. I’m obviously not one of those hermit wannabe writers who must hide away in a cave in order to be productive. My creativity seems to come on the waves of chaos. Which is a good thing, since at home, it’s never quiet.

The Fishdog is off to San Francisco this week. Hope he has a good time. 😦 the boys and I will hold down the fort while he’s gone…but we miss him already.

The chapters and writing loops are all a twitter with excitement about RWA National Conference registration, which opened Monday. I love “Nationals”. I get to see my friends, schmooze with my way cool agent and all the way cool chicks at TKA, party with my online chapter, and refill my writing well with the energy I always bring back with me. I think I’m driving this year, since parking isn’t gonna be $25 a day. Last year I elected to fly to Atlanta because my airfare was cheaper than the parking and gas would’ve been!

Any of you gonna be heading to Dallas this year with me? It’s not the most exotic of locations, but hell, we rarely leave the hotel anyway, so does the location matter? And this time, we won’t be sharing the hotel with the Mary Kay convention. But honestly, that kinda saddens me…the stories we had when we left! Awesome!

Edited to add:

by the way, I left at 2:45 on Thursday. I was sooooo close. 🙂 I didn’t have to leave at 2:00 because my committee meeting was cancelled. I drove in anyway because I had already taken the time off and I took that time to see a friend.

Also, I didn’t win squat at the horse races. Just didn’t have the good gambling juju going on.

So, I’m back. I know you missed me.

The weekend was lovely and cold. It sleeted Saturday for a while, which sounded wonderful on the tin-roofed deck at my parents lakehouse. For a little while, I bundled up in a quilt and sat outside and just enjoyed the ting and ping above me.

I did get some writing done, but I have to say, it was almost too quiet for me. I’m obviously not one of those hermit wannabe writers who must hide away in a cave in order to be productive. My creativity seems to come on the waves of chaos. Which is a good thing, since at home, it’s never quiet.

The Fishdog is off to San Francisco this week. Hope he has a good time. 😦 the boys and I will hold down the fort while he’s gone…but we miss him already.

The chapters and writing loops are all a twitter with excitement about RWA National Conference registration, which opened Monday. I love “Nationals”. I get to see my friends, schmooze with my way cool agent and all the way cool chicks at TKA, party with my online chapter, and refill my writing well with the energy I always bring back with me. I think I’m driving this year, since parking isn’t gonna be $25 a day. Last year I elected to fly to Atlanta because my airfare was cheaper than the parking and gas would’ve been!

Any of you gonna be heading to Dallas this year with me? It’s not the most exotic of locations, but hell, we rarely leave the hotel anyway, so does the location matter? And this time, we won’t be sharing the hotel with the Mary Kay convention. But honestly, that kinda saddens me…the stories we had when we left! Awesome!

Edited to add:

by the way, I left at 2:45 on Thursday. I was sooooo close. 🙂 I didn’t have to leave at 2:00 because my committee meeting was cancelled. I drove in anyway because I had already taken the time off and I took that time to see a friend.

Also, I didn’t win squat at the horse races. Just didn’t have the good gambling juju going on.

I have known myself for almost 38 years now and I still don’t understand myself. Why do I bother trying to make plans if I’m still gonna wait to the last minute to do everything on my list.

For instance, I’ve known for months now that I was going out of town this weekend. Originally my CPs and I were going together but due to some unforseeable events, we’ve postponed our group gathering until later. But I’m still going.

Now, I’ve known that I would need to get the oil changed before I left. Did I do that last week? No. Did I do it during the holidays when I had time off? No. When am I having it done? This morning. When am I leaving? This afternoon.

Apparently a couple of weeks ago we ran over a screw and the driver’s side front tire has been leaking air ever since. Have we had it repaired? Um, yes. Today. We’re having it repaired today.

Am I packed? Hah!
Do I have my music picked out for the road? Nope.
Have I put a new book on my mp3 player and charged it? Negatory.

And when did I say I was leaving? Today. After lunch.

What am I doing now (besides blogging)? I’m at work–finishing up some stuff here that needs to be done before I leave. Then I guess I’ll pick up the car from the shop, (after my dentist appointment of course, because GOD FORBID I make that appointment for another day) then I’ll pack, grab the mp3 player and the charger and charge it when I get to the lake. I’m supposed to leave by 2:00…

Taking bets now–will I make my 2:00 departure time?

I have known myself for almost 38 years now and I still don’t understand myself. Why do I bother trying to make plans if I’m still gonna wait to the last minute to do everything on my list.

For instance, I’ve known for months now that I was going out of town this weekend. Originally my CPs and I were going together but due to some unforseeable events, we’ve postponed our group gathering until later. But I’m still going.

Now, I’ve known that I would need to get the oil changed before I left. Did I do that last week? No. Did I do it during the holidays when I had time off? No. When am I having it done? This morning. When am I leaving? This afternoon.

Apparently a couple of weeks ago we ran over a screw and the driver’s side front tire has been leaking air ever since. Have we had it repaired? Um, yes. Today. We’re having it repaired today.

Am I packed? Hah!
Do I have my music picked out for the road? Nope.
Have I put a new book on my mp3 player and charged it? Negatory.

And when did I say I was leaving? Today. After lunch.

What am I doing now (besides blogging)? I’m at work–finishing up some stuff here that needs to be done before I leave. Then I guess I’ll pick up the car from the shop, (after my dentist appointment of course, because GOD FORBID I make that appointment for another day) then I’ll pack, grab the mp3 player and the charger and charge it when I get to the lake. I’m supposed to leave by 2:00…

Taking bets now–will I make my 2:00 departure time?

I have no idea. I guess I’ll learn as I go here. Contracts have to be finalized and signed, which could take several months. (something I did not know! I guess I always thought the contracts came with the offer!)

Last night I celebrated with a few of my girlfriends in town. We had a great time just catching up and having margaritas–even though it was 24 degrees outside! We pretty much drank with our gloves on…LOL.

I’ve already had someone I know in town come out and ask

So how much?

Excuse me? How much what?

How much they give you?

I think I was flummoxed. First of all, they didn’t “give me” anything. I earned it. Secondly, isn’t that poor form? Do you ask everyone you know how much money they make at their job?

Sigh.

I really was surprised when he asked so I kinda sputtered. Thankfully my friend came to my rescue and chastised him for me.

I’d heard that was a common occurance after selling a book, but I guess I just didn’t believe it. Were these people born in a barn? My momma always said you’re better off talking about politics and religion than you are about money. I think she was right.

Anyway, I’m going out of town tomorrow afternoon and I won’t be back until Monday evening. I have my 20 year reunion committee meeting–good lord, 2o years! I have my girls day at the horse races on Friday and then I’m going up to my parents’ lakehouse to hibernate and write. No internet, no kids, and really bad tv…which means there will be no distractions.

Woohoo! I can’t wait!

I have no idea. I guess I’ll learn as I go here. Contracts have to be finalized and signed, which could take several months. (something I did not know! I guess I always thought the contracts came with the offer!)

Last night I celebrated with a few of my girlfriends in town. We had a great time just catching up and having margaritas–even though it was 24 degrees outside! We pretty much drank with our gloves on…LOL.

I’ve already had someone I know in town come out and ask

So how much?

Excuse me? How much what?

How much they give you?

I think I was flummoxed. First of all, they didn’t “give me” anything. I earned it. Secondly, isn’t that poor form? Do you ask everyone you know how much money they make at their job?

Sigh.

I really was surprised when he asked so I kinda sputtered. Thankfully my friend came to my rescue and chastised him for me.

I’d heard that was a common occurance after selling a book, but I guess I just didn’t believe it. Were these people born in a barn? My momma always said you’re better off talking about politics and religion than you are about money. I think she was right.

Anyway, I’m going out of town tomorrow afternoon and I won’t be back until Monday evening. I have my 20 year reunion committee meeting–good lord, 2o years! I have my girls day at the horse races on Friday and then I’m going up to my parents’ lakehouse to hibernate and write. No internet, no kids, and really bad tv…which means there will be no distractions.

Woohoo! I can’t wait!