That’s right. Shopping.

Since we moved to Oxtopia almost 7 years ago, the only shopping I generally get to do is of the online variety or at War-Mart. And though I can do quite a bit of damage both online and in hell War-Mart, it’s not the same.

My friend and I are headed to Memphis at 7:30 and I can’t wait. I miss real shopping. Now, if only I had an unlimited income…

The lurvely Kristen Painter tagged me with the “Four Things” meme and since my last two post prior to this one were about crappy local politics and crappy people posts, I thought I’d lighten up a little.

Four Things

Four jobs I’ve had:

1. Pizza Delivery girl
2. After School Coordinator
3. Waitress
4. Staff Accountant

Four places I’ve lived:

1. Bryant, AR
2. Little Rock, AR
3. Oxford, MS
4. Yes, I’m boring.

Four favorite foods:

1. Cheese Dip
2. Medium Rare Filet Mignon
3. Spinach (not kidding)
4. French Toast

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. The Replacements
2. Dirty Dancing (shut up.)
3. The American President
   
4. Better Off Dead

Four TV shows I enjoy:

1. Brothers and Sisters
2. How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men (2 shows, 1 hour…LOL)
3. Grey’s Anatomy
4. Men in Trees

Four places I’ve traveled:

1. California
2. Florida
3. Virginia
4. New Jersey (told ya, I’m booooooring)

Four places I’d like to visit:

1. U.K.
2. Japan
3. Alaska
4. Fabio Cannavaro

Four websites I go to daily:

1. Google Reader
2. RWA Online
3. GMAIL
4. My Space

*if you have sensitive eyes, just ignore the F-word that is rampant throughout this post*

Yesterday afternoon started out as normal. Ian had a dentist appointment, so I picked him up from school. He was so excited to finally get the “chain” on his braces. (that excitement went away this morning when he woke up and realized how much his mouth hurt)

So, it was a little after 4:00 when we pulled into our driveway. I hadn’t turned the car off yet, when I noticed black smoke billowing up behind the house. It took a second to register before I realized it wasn’t someone burning leaves.

I believe my words were. “Holy fuck! That’s a fire! That house is on fire! That’s a fire!”

Then I listened and heard no sirens. HOLY FUCK! No sirens. Nobody’s called yet. Shit!

I dialed 911. Apparently, the next door neighbor had just called. I get out of the car, tell the boys to stay at the house and I run over to the burning home.

It’s a big house, 5 bedrooms and a large basement. 5 college boys live there. They’re good kids. I was terrified one of them was in the house, but thankfully no. Nobody was home when the fire started.

They got home in time to save the dogs, too. Thank God.

Anyway, I get there as the fire dept. shows up. Watching them fight this blaze was amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it so close! The fire was alive. It was hideous and beautiful at the same time.

A group of gawkers began to gather. I hadn’t seen the boys who live there yet, so I’m looking for them. I’m asking around. The looky-loos all say, “Who? Oh the frat boys? Yeah, I don’t know where they are.”

“Doesn’t anyone care where they are?”

“Well, they’re college kids, you know.”

“And what does that have to do with the price of tea in china?”

“They drink beer in their carport.”

Oh THAT explains it. Damn, I must be one lucky bitch. I can’t believe all my houses haven’t burst into flames.

At this point I’m totally incensed. What the hell is wrong with people? They stand around watching the boys lose everything to this angry fire and don’t even bother to ask if the kids are okay? Because they’re students? WTF?

I find the boys. They’re scared to death but okay. I give them my information and tell them to call or come by if they need anything…two of the boys hug me. They’re grateful to be alive. This could’ve been much worse.

If one of my boys are ever in a situation like this, I hope someone will remember that even though they drink beer in their carport, they are also someone’s son.

That was #2’s fever last night.

I guess that headache he was complaining about was real, huh?

So, the Fishdog and I are switching out today. I’m going in this morning–hoping to accomplish my to do list before I come home after lunch to sit with a sick boy.

He’s feeling okay this morning. I usually feel like run over dog crap if I have a 99.1 fever. But he’s up and watching tv and sneezing.

Poor thing.

On another note, I’d like to take this time to bitch about the County Supervisors in our area who voted down the Sportsplex for the community. They expect the city to fund the project but want their county families to be able to participate without taking any financial responsiblity. That’s what my daddy called gettin’ sumpin’ for nuttin’. And that dawg don’t hunt here, boys.

In response, the City Aldermen voted (7-0) that only city kids will be allowed to participate in 2007 events. What this means is that most likely there will be no basketball and no spring soccer because the county kids make up about 58% of the program. Yeah. that’s what I said. They have the majority of kids in the program yet the Supervisors refused to help fund the Sportsplex. Those parents ought to be hoppin’ mad.

The only ones to get hurt in all this are the kids. And hell, they don’t count do they? They’re just kids, after all.

The Fishdog and I are starting to look for programs in Memphis and in Tupelo. I hate the thought of driving an hour or more each way for sports, but you know, it might be for the best. I hate local politics especially over something so damn stupid. This was a no brainer, y’all and y’all screwed the pooch.

What cracks me up is that I was brought up in a small bedroom community outside of Little Rock. (it’s not so small now a little bigger than oxford) Anyway, they’re a very sportscentric community like Oxford…the only difference is, they’ve embraced their growth. The city and surrounding communities voted in a multi-million dollar complex that will be state of the art and have both rec and competitive sports available. I never thought the county supervisors would be this closed minded. This area is sports obsessed. What the hell were they thinking?

Okay, sorry to bore y’all with stupid local ignorance. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

That was #2’s fever last night.

I guess that headache he was complaining about was real, huh?

So, the Fishdog and I are switching out today. I’m going in this morning–hoping to accomplish my to do list before I come home after lunch to sit with a sick boy.

He’s feeling okay this morning. I usually feel like run over dog crap if I have a 99.1 fever. But he’s up and watching tv and sneezing.

Poor thing.

On another note, I’d like to take this time to bitch about the County Supervisors in our area who voted down the Sportsplex for the community. They expect the city to fund the project but want their county families to be able to participate without taking any financial responsiblity. That’s what my daddy called gettin’ sumpin’ for nuttin’. And that dawg don’t hunt here, boys.

In response, the City Aldermen voted (7-0) that only city kids will be allowed to participate in 2007 events. What this means is that most likely there will be no basketball and no spring soccer because the county kids make up about 58% of the program. Yeah. that’s what I said. They have the majority of kids in the program yet the Supervisors refused to help fund the Sportsplex. Those parents ought to be hoppin’ mad.

The only ones to get hurt in all this are the kids. And hell, they don’t count do they? They’re just kids, after all.

The Fishdog and I are starting to look for programs in Memphis and in Tupelo. I hate the thought of driving an hour or more each way for sports, but you know, it might be for the best. I hate local politics especially over something so damn stupid. This was a no brainer, y’all and y’all screwed the pooch.

What cracks me up is that I was brought up in a small bedroom community outside of Little Rock. (it’s not so small now a little bigger than oxford) Anyway, they’re a very sportscentric community like Oxford…the only difference is, they’ve embraced their growth. The city and surrounding communities voted in a multi-million dollar complex that will be state of the art and have both rec and competitive sports available. I never thought the county supervisors would be this closed minded. This area is sports obsessed. What the hell were they thinking?

Okay, sorry to bore y’all with stupid local ignorance. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

I’m not sure what it is about a real Scotsman wearing a kilt, but wow.

Grant graduated from Uni this week–top of his class. Here’s a picture of he and his real mum. How handsome is he?

Congrats on your acheivement, Grant.

I’m not sure what it is about a real Scotsman wearing a kilt, but wow.

Grant graduated from Uni this week–top of his class. Here’s a picture of he and his real mum. How handsome is he?

Congrats on your acheivement, Grant.

Those of you who are regular readers of my fine blog, no I’m a huge Razorback fan. Frankly, I just love college football. But most of all, I love my little piggies.

And tonight, my little piggies are playing the Florida lizards Gators for the SEC Championship.

Right now, it appears that if we can’t beat them, we will at least injure them one by one. Does that make us the Sopranos of football?

I suppose it’s a strategy. I guess I really don’t care as long as we get the W. (I will say, I don’t hope for any real injury…but if you can’t come back for the rest of the game, I can live with that…)

Go Hogs. Please beat the lizards Gators. Otherwise, I might have to put a cap in yo ass.

Those of you who are regular readers of my fine blog, no I’m a huge Razorback fan. Frankly, I just love college football. But most of all, I love my little piggies.

And tonight, my little piggies are playing the Florida lizards Gators for the SEC Championship.

Right now, it appears that if we can’t beat them, we will at least injure them one by one. Does that make us the Sopranos of football?

I suppose it’s a strategy. I guess I really don’t care as long as we get the W. (I will say, I don’t hope for any real injury…but if you can’t come back for the rest of the game, I can live with that…)

Go Hogs. Please beat the lizards Gators. Otherwise, I might have to put a cap in yo ass.

Yesterday proved a theory I had long suspected to be true.

I’m the worst mother ever.

Yes, dear blog readers, it’s true. I simply suck at the motherhood thing. I don’t even think I get an A for effort.

My #2 son (#2 in birth order not in preference) wanted to participate in the reading fair. He finished reading Eldest (which is an 8th GRADE level book and only about 1 million pages long). #2 was quite proud, seeing as how he is only 8 YEARS old. (as he should be)

So, as usual with the Francis Family, we waited til the last minute to do our readng board. He and I worked on it together, me all the time thinking “I’m the best mother ever.” The board looked fantastic. He was so proud.

The next morning, I send him off to school and let him know that I will bring the board up after school for set up (as the instructions read) Again, I’m thinking, “Wow. He’s so lucky to have me as a mom.”

Fast forward two hours. I call the school.

School: Best school ever, may I help you?

Me: This is #2’s mom (in birth order, not preference) and I’d like to know if I can come by at lunch to set up his reading fair project.

School: Um, Ms. Worst Mom in the World, set up was yesterday. The judging has already been completed.

Me: @#$!

School: Poor #2 son, (obviously in preference and birth order). You are the worst mom ever.

I dread the rest of the day. I dread the phone call I know I’m gonna get that afternoon.

Sure enough the phone call comes.

#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Mom, he’s in his room crying.

Me: (sound of heart shattering echos through the building) Crying or pouting?

#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Heaving.

Me: @#$! I’ll be right home.

I call my friend Andrea on the way home near tears myself. Nobody wants to let your child down that way…and I felt like I had just crushed him. I had come up with some good ideas on how to make it all better. (most of them had to do with groveling and bribery) I had already decided that we would just save his most excellent poster for next year’s fair. Andrea said I should tell him that we weren’t a day late, we were 364 days early.

I got home, and hugged my boy tight and said those exact words. He started laughing and said that was a good idea. Then he asked if I could take him to eat cheese dip.

Cheese dip makes everyone feel better. Even the worst mom in the world.

Yesterday proved a theory I had long suspected to be true.

I’m the worst mother ever.

Yes, dear blog readers, it’s true. I simply suck at the motherhood thing. I don’t even think I get an A for effort.

My #2 son (#2 in birth order not in preference) wanted to participate in the reading fair. He finished reading Eldest (which is an 8th GRADE level book and only about 1 million pages long). #2 was quite proud, seeing as how he is only 8 YEARS old. (as he should be)

So, as usual with the Francis Family, we waited til the last minute to do our readng board. He and I worked on it together, me all the time thinking “I’m the best mother ever.” The board looked fantastic. He was so proud.

The next morning, I send him off to school and let him know that I will bring the board up after school for set up (as the instructions read) Again, I’m thinking, “Wow. He’s so lucky to have me as a mom.”

Fast forward two hours. I call the school.

School: Best school ever, may I help you?

Me: This is #2’s mom (in birth order, not preference) and I’d like to know if I can come by at lunch to set up his reading fair project.

School: Um, Ms. Worst Mom in the World, set up was yesterday. The judging has already been completed.

Me: @#$!

School: Poor #2 son, (obviously in preference and birth order). You are the worst mom ever.

I dread the rest of the day. I dread the phone call I know I’m gonna get that afternoon.

Sure enough the phone call comes.

#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Mom, he’s in his room crying.

Me: (sound of heart shattering echos through the building) Crying or pouting?

#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Heaving.

Me: @#$! I’ll be right home.

I call my friend Andrea on the way home near tears myself. Nobody wants to let your child down that way…and I felt like I had just crushed him. I had come up with some good ideas on how to make it all better. (most of them had to do with groveling and bribery) I had already decided that we would just save his most excellent poster for next year’s fair. Andrea said I should tell him that we weren’t a day late, we were 364 days early.

I got home, and hugged my boy tight and said those exact words. He started laughing and said that was a good idea. Then he asked if I could take him to eat cheese dip.

Cheese dip makes everyone feel better. Even the worst mom in the world.