This was sent to me by my friend Marley Gibson and I have to say, I’m laughing my ass off.

Is it that funny? you ask.

Well, yeah. It’s funny. But not for the reason you’re thinking.

It’s funny because, I just discovered, I’m a man. LOL

———————————————————————————-
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Feb. 27, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 1 doesn’t apply to me. At this point, I’m laughing, but I’m still a woman.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.
Okay, we’re sneaking into iffy ground, here. I usually change the roll…but not always.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PMfor 2 hours.
I’m DEFINITELY STILL A WOMAN HERE.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor —
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.
ooops. This is the beginning of the end for me. I just throw my clothes in the general direction of the hamper. Usually. Sometimes, I just leave them wherever I shed them

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Heh. Guilty. This is why I have kids.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
This is why we have 3 TVs. I control the living room remote. If you don’t want to watch what I’m watching, go somewhere else.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
I do NOT do this. The husband, he does.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Do NOT bring me a flower for my birthday, mother’s day, our anniversary, or valentine’s day. It is NOT romantic, it’s a cop out. Bring me flowers because it’s Wednesday.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Again, I’m bad about this. My husband will stop. Better yet, he brings a map AND he knows how to use it.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Does not apply.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Heh. That cracked me up. Does not apply to me. Not much.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
I love to shop, I hate shopping with Mark. My GOD he takes for-fucking-ever. And then, he just gets the same damn style of shirt as always. You’d think he’d be able to run in, pick up the checked shirt of a different color and run out. But no, he has to run in, investigate all the checked shirts. Debate on which color checked shirt is best. Try on the checked shirts. Compare the prices. Ask if it’s on clearance. Walk around carrying the checked shirt while deciding whether or not you really want to buy the checked shirt. Look at new jeans. Decide they are too expensive. Take back one of the two checked shirts you’ve been carrying around for 1 hour and finally buy the one checked shirt.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Heh. Doesn’t Apply.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Doesn’t apply. Mark and I both cook equally.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

This was sent to me by my friend Marley Gibson and I have to say, I’m laughing my ass off.

Is it that funny? you ask.

Well, yeah. It’s funny. But not for the reason you’re thinking.

It’s funny because, I just discovered, I’m a man. LOL

———————————————————————————-
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Feb. 27, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 1 doesn’t apply to me. At this point, I’m laughing, but I’m still a woman.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.
Okay, we’re sneaking into iffy ground, here. I usually change the roll…but not always.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PMfor 2 hours.
I’m DEFINITELY STILL A WOMAN HERE.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor —
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.
ooops. This is the beginning of the end for me. I just throw my clothes in the general direction of the hamper. Usually. Sometimes, I just leave them wherever I shed them

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Heh. Guilty. This is why I have kids.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
This is why we have 3 TVs. I control the living room remote. If you don’t want to watch what I’m watching, go somewhere else.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
I do NOT do this. The husband, he does.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Do NOT bring me a flower for my birthday, mother’s day, our anniversary, or valentine’s day. It is NOT romantic, it’s a cop out. Bring me flowers because it’s Wednesday.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Again, I’m bad about this. My husband will stop. Better yet, he brings a map AND he knows how to use it.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Does not apply.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Heh. That cracked me up. Does not apply to me. Not much.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
I love to shop, I hate shopping with Mark. My GOD he takes for-fucking-ever. And then, he just gets the same damn style of shirt as always. You’d think he’d be able to run in, pick up the checked shirt of a different color and run out. But no, he has to run in, investigate all the checked shirts. Debate on which color checked shirt is best. Try on the checked shirts. Compare the prices. Ask if it’s on clearance. Walk around carrying the checked shirt while deciding whether or not you really want to buy the checked shirt. Look at new jeans. Decide they are too expensive. Take back one of the two checked shirts you’ve been carrying around for 1 hour and finally buy the one checked shirt.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.
Heh. Doesn’t Apply.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Doesn’t apply. Mark and I both cook equally.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

So, tonight was Master P’s last night to dance. Or maybe I should say “dance”.

You know, for all the shit everyone gave him, I really liked him. I did. (go ahead…boo and hiss me, I can take it.)

My Gawd y’all, the man only did this because his son couldn’t. Filling in for Lil Romeo was stand up. And you know what? I think they expected an awful lot of him. He was in culture shock. You can’t tell a gangsta rapper to change his shoes! They just don’t do that!!

Yes, it was time for him to go. Honestly, I wanted him to go the first week–but I was so glad he stayed. He was fun to watch. And it was nice to see that he and his partner Ashly really seemed to bond.

Now, let’s talk about who is really kick ass. Can anyone really compete with Stacy? And can you believe she’s an f’n wrestler? A WRESTLER? OMG. She’s so damn graceful and looks like sex on a stick. I have now added her to my list. (what list? you ask) My list of bodies that I would pay to have. My list of women I love to hate. It’s the list.

Other people on my list: Beyonce Knowles, Gwen Stefani, Janet Jackson (in that video from the 90s) Curvy, sexy women.

I wanna be curvy and sexy.

Right now I’m a little more on the curvy side than I am on the sexy side. Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away, I was both.

So, anyway…I’m happy and sad. Happy that P finally was voted out and sad for the exact same reason. I genuinely like all the couples left. The eliminations from this point forward will be very hard.

PS: Go see Maria’s blog for a totally F’d up take on The Bachelor. Sarah BAD.

So, tonight was Master P’s last night to dance. Or maybe I should say “dance”.

You know, for all the shit everyone gave him, I really liked him. I did. (go ahead…boo and hiss me, I can take it.)

My Gawd y’all, the man only did this because his son couldn’t. Filling in for Lil Romeo was stand up. And you know what? I think they expected an awful lot of him. He was in culture shock. You can’t tell a gangsta rapper to change his shoes! They just don’t do that!!

Yes, it was time for him to go. Honestly, I wanted him to go the first week–but I was so glad he stayed. He was fun to watch. And it was nice to see that he and his partner Ashly really seemed to bond.

Now, let’s talk about who is really kick ass. Can anyone really compete with Stacy? And can you believe she’s an f’n wrestler? A WRESTLER? OMG. She’s so damn graceful and looks like sex on a stick. I have now added her to my list. (what list? you ask) My list of bodies that I would pay to have. My list of women I love to hate. It’s the list.

Other people on my list: Beyonce Knowles, Gwen Stefani, Janet Jackson (in that video from the 90s) Curvy, sexy women.

I wanna be curvy and sexy.

Right now I’m a little more on the curvy side than I am on the sexy side. Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away, I was both.

So, anyway…I’m happy and sad. Happy that P finally was voted out and sad for the exact same reason. I genuinely like all the couples left. The eliminations from this point forward will be very hard.

PS: Go see Maria’s blog for a totally F’d up take on The Bachelor. Sarah BAD.

You Are a Traveler Soul

You’re a thrill seeker who loves to be active and on the move You love to wander: between places, ideas, and people. A good communicator, you’re a nonconformist and interested in the world. You are an explorer, a good storyteller, and a true dreamer. Because you’re always on the move, you can be a bit fickle. It’s difficult for you to make personal commitments. Don’t be so quick to ignore emotional issues and problems. You’re much more intuitive and psychic than you think. Souls you are most compatible with: Retrospective Soul and Dreaming Soul

I’d say this is pretty accurate.

Thanks to Jamie’s husband for posting this to his blog. It’s a good one.

You Are a Traveler Soul

You’re a thrill seeker who loves to be active and on the move You love to wander: between places, ideas, and people. A good communicator, you’re a nonconformist and interested in the world. You are an explorer, a good storyteller, and a true dreamer. Because you’re always on the move, you can be a bit fickle. It’s difficult for you to make personal commitments. Don’t be so quick to ignore emotional issues and problems. You’re much more intuitive and psychic than you think. Souls you are most compatible with: Retrospective Soul and Dreaming Soul

I’d say this is pretty accurate.

Thanks to Jamie’s husband for posting this to his blog. It’s a good one.

You are an old soul writer–neither a pantser (who
writes by the seat of her pants) nor a plotter (who plots out a book before writing it). You’re a person who values serendipity and spontaneity, but also realizes the benefit of having an idea where a story is going before you write it. You may make up an outline or have a plan for a book, and write something totally different, but that’s OK. You’re not comfortable writing without having at least some idea of where the story is going, but you also like the freedom to
change the story from what you originally planned. You’re a born writer who realizes the value of serendipity.

What Kind of a Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I gakked this from Barb who apparently is an old soul, too.

Hmm, Old Soul? I would’ve never called myself that. But, the description is pretty accurate.

You are an old soul writer–neither a pantser (who
writes by the seat of her pants) nor a plotter (who plots out a book before writing it). You’re a person who values serendipity and spontaneity, but also realizes the benefit of having an idea where a story is going before you write it. You may make up an outline or have a plan for a book, and write something totally different, but that’s OK. You’re not comfortable writing without having at least some idea of where the story is going, but you also like the freedom to
change the story from what you originally planned. You’re a born writer who realizes the value of serendipity.

What Kind of a Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I gakked this from Barb who apparently is an old soul, too.

Hmm, Old Soul? I would’ve never called myself that. But, the description is pretty accurate.