Regular readers of this blog know what a handful my youngest child can be. He’s entertainment on a stick–no doubt about it.

Last year, the art teacher did not appreciate it when Rader announced in class that he could lick his nipples. Of course, as mother of the year, I acted appropriately. (after laughing my ass off…) I do find humor in this type of thing. He’s only eight years old, after all. However, I did talk to him about inappropriate subjects at school, and licking nipples did fall under that category.

Okay, well the art teacher obviously has a low “inappropriate threshold”. She called just a few mins ago:

Me: Hello?
Stupid Art Teacher: Is this Rader’s mom?
Me: Yep.
SAT: This is his stupid art teacher. I had trouble with him saying inappropriate things last year and this year is no better. He just had a very inappropriate conversation at the table with another little boy and there was a little girl sitting right next to him!
Me: (worrying at this point, cuz Rader does have quite the vocabulary and imagination…) Oh? What did he say?
SAT: Well, I didn’t hear it, but the little girl told me he was talking about using the bathroom on the sidewalk.
Me: (definitely worried now) Hm. But you didn’t hear it?
SAT: No, but he’s right here if you wanna talk to him.
Me: Absolutely. Put him on.
Rader: Mom. (kinda mumbling)
Me: Son. Tell me what you said. Exactly.
R: I was talking to Eddie about a video game and I said if you do #1 on the sidewalk you’ll get arrested.
Me: Yeah, but what did you say? Exactly. Did you say Pee? Piss? God, Rader, did you say Piss??
R: NO! I said do #1.
Me: Do #1? That’s it? Nothing else?
R: I promise.
Me: Put Stupid Art Teacher back on phone please.
SAT: Thank you for talking to him.
Me: I’m not so sure you’re gonna thank me in a second. Can you tell me exactly what is “inappropriate” about this? (I repeat the conversation) Because, I’m not finding that inappropriate at all, unless he was breaking a “no talking rule” at the time.
SAT: (Huffing and Puffing) WELL. I find that kind of talk VERY inappropriate.
Me: Ma’am. If he’d have used inappropriate language like “piss” that would’ve been inappropriate.
SAT: GASP
Me: But he’s 8. And he didn’t say anything inappropriate. And I’m trying to figure out why you’re calling about the sentence “If you do #1 on the sidewalk, you’ll get arrested.” when A: it’s true and B: you didn’t even hear him say it in the first place.
SAT: (more huffing and puffing) It’s OBVIOUS that you and I have different ideas on what is inappropriate. I’m sorry I wasted your time.
Me: Please feel free to call me any time.

Honestly. If she wants inappropriate, I can give her inappropriate.

EDITED TO ADD:
My friend suggested Rader take her this if she really wants to see inappropriate: