I’m not exactly sure what intellectual fat is, but apparently my youngest son has it. He said it’s the stuff right under his eyes.

Intellectual fat sounds pretty special. I decided right then and there if I was gonna be fat, I should most definitely be intellectually fat.

What purpose does intellectual fat serve?

Let’s explore.

First off, if intellectual fat is only located beneath your eyes, then I think its purpose is obvious.  According to Fishdog, skinny people don’t have intellectual fat. That’s what they get for being skinny. So when they age, they get wrinkled. Those of us intellectually fat folks will not wrinkle and therefore we will look better than the skinnies. Intellectually fat folks age like fine wine. Fishdog says they all just need to eat a sandwich so they can get curvy like his hot mama. (or his hot TWFKAM).

Now, if intellectual fat can be located in other spots, then we must investigate.

Consider the possibility that intellectual fat could be located around the brain. Does that serve as a natural helmet for those who refuse to wear one? Or does it feed the brain to make intellectually superior people? I’m gonna go with #2 because frankly, people who refuse to wear a helmet can’t possibly have any intellectual fat anywhere in their system.

If intellectual fat is around the ass, then is that really very intellectual? What purpose does the intellectually fat ass serve? I suspect that’s where mine has landed–maybe if I sit on it a while, the reason will come to me.