Nostalgia part deux

I wouldn’t go back to being 18 again for anything…not even if I could go back knowing what I know now.

But as my friend Jen said, it was great to relive the innocence of 18 for just a few hours. When our biggest worries were test scores and rejection and how to score our next beer. (not that I drank when I was 18…)

I’m still on a nostalgia high. I spent a fantastic week at conference and then followed it with a great night with old friends. Wonder what the crash is gonna feel like? Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll just coast on the good feelings for a while.

I find it ironic that I enjoyed myself as much as I did, when even the morning of my reunion, I was dreading it. I don’t know what I was worried about…I guess no matter how much you grow into yourself, old insecurities can come crashing back like a landslide. High School was bittersweet for me. I didn’t always have a Naughty River (or at least, my Naughty River wasn’t free flowing…) I never had the one “boyfriend” but I had a lot of great boy friends. I never was the star athlete but I was athletic. I knew almost everyone, and was friend to most, but only felt true to myself around a few.

Today, I’m okay with who I am around everyone. I can look at the big picture and think, “I don’t have to be everyone’s friend. It’s their loss.” Could you imagine ever thinking something like that in High School? Or, if you thought it, did you really believe it?

The best part of this weekend’s reconnection was seeing that we’d all grown into ourselves. I’m amazed at the adults my friends turned out to be. And I don’t know why it should be surprising…they are my friends, and I’ve always had great taste… if I do say so myself.

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