au bouquet de Tyne Daly

Yesterday afternoon, Fishdog and I had drinks with some good friends. You know how hard it is to find a couple you and your spouse love equally? Well, Chris and DeeDee are our perfect match.

Unfortunately, there is a problem with our friendship.

We get stupid together. Totally, unbelievably, ridiculously stupid.


Yesterday’s stupidity began with one of Chris’s favorite questions: “Which character am I gonna be in your book?”

I explain that I’m not sure but maybe I’ll make him a bad sheriff. Or the hot teacher.

Both options meet his approval. Then he asks, “Who’s gonna play me in the movie.”

That’s easy enough. “Timothy Dalton. You guys could be twins.” (it’s true. They look remarkably alike–of course, Chris is 20 years younger, so Timothy will have to have a good make-up artist, but it could work…)

Again, this meets Chris’s approval.

Then he asks me, “Are you gonna have a fart joke in your book? Cuz you know, flatulence can make or break a story.” (what is it with boys and fart jokes?)

So, at the same time that Chris is talking about farts, Fishdog is still casting the movie. When Chris says something about farting, Fishdog says Tim Daly should be cast as Chris’s character. I say something about “loving me some Tim Daly” and what does DeeDee hear?

“I love me some Tyne Daly farts.”

OMG. Stooooopid.

But it gets worse. We couldn’t let it go. Suddenly, we’ve cast Tyne Daly as Chris’s character and Chris says he doesn’t mind if Tyne plays his character in the movie as long as she farts. So for the rest of the afternoon, if Tyne Daly was mentioned, you had to make a fart noise. And now I’ve been commanded to write in a character that can be played by Tyne Daly and that character must have a flatulence problem. I don’t know how well a Farting Vampire will go over with YA girls, but I’m guessing I may be able to appeal to the teenage boy demographic if I write that character.

We were all crying from laughing so hard. I don’t know which is worse, the fact that we were sober when we created the Tyne Daly Fart Game or the fact that I’m really considering writing that character into the book.

This author has no knowledge of Tyne Daly’s actual flatulence issues or lack thereof. No offense to Tyne Daly intended…

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