When I say the words “Please, leave your brother alone. Don’t look at him, speak to him, flip him off, touch him, poke him, or kick him under the table. And please, no more silent “I’m gonna slit your throat” threats.”

Do y’all understand me? Or am I speaking a foreign language? An alien language?

Something must be wrong with me because apparently, my damn kids don’t understand anything I say.

Not. One. Damn. Thing.

Speaking of damn, I’m heading to the Big Dam Bridge to walk it off.

Hasta la vista.

ETA the video. Was running late this morning (due to aforementioned children of the corn) and didn’t have a chance to find…