the story of Meth Ho and School Boy

Anyone else wanna sing “This is the story of a girl..”


So Friday night we went out after the Party at the Potty. The band was fun (and turns out, an old friend of mine is a member of the band, which was totally crazy.) Well, I had mentioned that some folks decided to dance and it kinda turned into a White People Can’t Dance competition.

What I didn’t mention was Meth Ho and School Boy.

MH and SB were sitting with a group of ten or so right behind us. Now, it was obvious that the group hadn’t been to the ‘big city’ in a while. They were a colorful group and seemed to be really enjoying themselves.

When the band started, this skinny chick wearing high-waisted, tapered ankled Mom jeans, an oversized hoodie and workboots got up and started ‘dancing’ by herself. It was an awkward side-to-side step and she was way offbeat. Her braided pony tail (she had it in a pony tail then braided it) swung back and forth like a whip and I was afraid for anyone who might accidentally be lashed by the bleached blond weapon.

It was almost painful watching her, but we couldn’t look away. When the band slowed things down, she moved toward the table and we all breathed a sigh of relief…until she grabbed School Boy’s hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

School Boy must’ve used the best fake ID on earth to get into the bar, because I swear he was just a very tall 12 year old. Honestly, at the very oldest, he was 18… and that’s giving him a very large benefit of the doubt. At first, I thought ‘Aw how cute. He’s gonna dance with crazy Aunt Gilda.’ But that thought quickly turned to ‘OMGWTFBBQ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!’

MH pulled SB close and they started slooooow dancing (say it like Barry White. Sloooooow Dancing) And doing this very awkward kinda grindy Dirty Dancing thing that made me throw up a little in my mouth.

I kept trying to look away, but I just couldn’t. It was horrific. And awesome.

My friend recorded the dancing with her iPhone but it was so dark and she didn’t have a good angle so I don’t have video evidence.

Which I promise you is for the best. Because seriously, that image? It burns.

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