I spent the weekend cleaning.
THIS is what I pretended I looked like:
This is what I actually looked like:
Minus the smile + a
glass bottle of wine.
I’ve been neglecting my house lately which may or may not say much becaue I’m not much of a housekeeper anyway. I’ve adopted the Joan Rivers attitude when it comes to cleaning:
Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum- “My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.” ~Joan Rivers
True enough. And if waxing the linoleum (not a euphemism) ever became his idea of foreplay (floor play? bwahahahaha) I’d send him packing anyway. I’m not that chick.
BUT even I have my tipping point when it comes to an unclean very cluttered house, and this weekend I’d reached it. I’m not sure what came over me (I think my clone took over, honestly) but before I knew what was happening, I had a bucket of bleach water, a sponge, and I was on my hands and knees cleaning the floors. (again, not a euphemism, but I suppose it probably could be since I looked “so hot” in my French Maid outfit. *cough*)
I finally gave out last night around 7:30. I still have stuff left to do, and have plans to finish it tonight. Mostly just folding laundry and putting it away. I’m hoping that actually happens, because let’s face it, if the laundry doesn’t get put away, it’s like all that work I did was for nothing because there will be piles and piles of laundry everywhere that we’ll just live off of until it’s all dirty again and then I’ll have to start all over.
Which is why I never clean, because why bother? You’re just gonna have to do it again. And you and I both know that a clean house is a sign of a boring person…and I’m anything but boring.
Hope you had a great weekend!