I saw this workout on Pinterest yesterday and decided to modify it to fit my needs.
I actually had planned to do the 80 lunges and go into the 70 squats, but that changed when I got to 30 lunges. I’m just not there yet. Because of the arthritis in my elbows, I have a very hard time with planks and push ups, so I made an adjustment to suit my body.
I did this set twice, and by the end, I was winded and wobbly. The sign of a very good workout! And it was a nice change of pace from what I’ve been doing. You know, I don’t wanna be bored…
Last night, I was ravenous about an hour after the workout. I had eaten a big green salad prior, and had a high protein shake afterward, but apparently my body needed more. Unfortunately, it was 9:00 and I don’t eat that late, so I fixed myself some green and roasted dandelion root tea and toughed it out. However, when I woke up this morning, I made myself a yummy little egg and cheese open-faced sandwich on the Pepperidge farm thin whole wheat bread because my stomach had tried to eat my spine overnight.
Increase in hunger is to be expected when your metabolism is kicking into gear, but sadly, I’m not a runner who is competing and needs to fuel up on as many calories as I burn. I’m a girl who is trying to lose weight, and has to remind herself that the point of exercising is to burn the calories…not to jump into a vat of cheese dip and while eating all the chips just because you exercised…
In other, non-workout and whiny because I’m hungry news: Pearl is up and running again! Ian’s dad helped us out with purchasing a new battery and she seems to be purring like a kitten. She still needs to have some tweaks done to her, so we’ll take her in next week and have her looked at. I drove her today, to make sure she was safe. I don’t want Ian carting the 4 year old he’s babysitting around in Pearl if she’s going to break down again… Looks like we’re a go, for take off! yippee!
Life is good, bitches. Live a genuine life and be happy. Or else I might have to get stabby all up in this place. Don’t be taking shit for granted, ya hear?
Well, no Gobots. Not really. But for old time’s sake, here’s a bit of nostalgia for you readers who have been around for a while. Like me.
Is it just me, or were the Gobots just the poor man’s Transformer?
Anyway…so many of y’all have noticed my health, fitness, OMG I’m trying to eat better! shift in my blog. I used to use my Fat Chicks Running blog for that, but I’ve just decided to move it all here. One stop shopping, so to speak.
Well, since I’ve been adding more food/fitness blogs to my content, I’ve had some awesome private messages and texts, all encouraging and many giving me advice.
My friend Amy (who I used to work with in Oxford) messaged me last night about this wonder product she’s using to help her with low carb and less processed foods eating.
This magic tool of awesome lets you cut veggies into spiral so you can have fake pasta! Tough veggies like Sweet Potatoes. Or Zucchini. Mmmmm. It is on my must buy list.
Last night was workout #2 at Melf’s Bootay Compound Bootcamp of Bootyliciousness. I focused on arms and shoulders and of course, abs. It was just me and Ruby and Big Baby last night. Rader had dinner with his Nonnie. Which was just as well. It was an ugly work out. U.G.L.Y. But I feel great today, even if I am a bit sore.
Okay, Bitches. I have a dreaded meeting in 45 minutes. I’ve eaten my breakfast, I’ve fueled up on coffee, and I’m sparkling like champagne. Y’all be good today. Or at least, be good at it!
I have always been enamored with the Pin Up Girls of yore. (Yes. I said yore.) They were soft, curvy, beautiful and their clothes were kick ass! Hell, if you don’t find them sexy, I think you probably needs some therapy. And glasses.
Now, I haven’t always identified with the Pin Up Girl, I’ve just always loved them. Then El Jefe and I started dating and he made a comment to me one day, just a few weeks into our fledgling romance that stuck with me forever. He told me he would love to have an image of me painted onto his motorcycle in pinup style, because that’s what he saw when he looked at me. Basically, he told me I was his calendar girl. I may have swooned.
I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life. That was the biggest compliment ever.
And from that moment on, the Pin UP Girl became my spirit animal. (don’t worry, the dragonfly is still my real totem, but…I’m embracing the Pin Up and making her my bitch)
Tonight is Workout #2 of Melf’s Compound Bootylicious Bootcamp. (I know the title keeps changing. Shut up. I like my brain’s ADHD) It will be just me and Rader (and probably my nephew Ryan) because *drumroll please*
IAN GOT A JOB!
That’s right, my fellow interneters. My 19-year-old-practically-grown-assed-son finally landed himself a gig. I’m very proud of him, because this is the job he’s been wanting and has been trying to get since spring. And he didn’t give up. And he did it by himself. Sure it took him a while, but who cares. He did it. On his own. And that’s what matters.
Anyway, back to Melf’s Compound Bootay’s Bootyliciousness. I’m going to add in more upper body tonight. I need to sculpt my awesome so my inner Calendar Girl shows on the outside to everyone. Not just my sexy El Jefe
Hmmm. El Jefe will be home tonight. Wonder if we can convince him to join us in our misery?
I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to cheer us on while taking pictures and laughing…with us. Not at us, of course.
OH and for an awesome fitness blog with tips and workouts and menus (oh, MY), check out Muffin-Topless.com. She’s pretty amazing. And her body is to fucking die for. Damn. You could do laundry on her abs!
And in one last bit of news…I have committed to doing a Yoga class this weekend for the first time in 15+ years. My sweet friend, Brandi Soucy is going to help me out…because I will need extra attention due to the girls. Downward Dog can actually mean suffocation when you’re G for Gifted.
There will be a blog about it next week. And there will probably be pictures. I ask that you keep your judgement of my inflexible fluff to yourself, as I am trying. Laugh all you want…on your inside.
Actually, laugh all you want. I will be. Fuck it. It’s gonna be awesome. And funny. But mostly awesome. 😀
So…it was kind of a success! I say “Kind of” because clearly, I like to believe I’m still fit as I was when I played 3 hours of basketball every afternoon and ran a 9 minute mile without breaking a sweat.
Just in case you were wondering, I am NOT in high school, anymore.
The boys were awesome. I actually didn’t expect them to take it seriously and get out there with me, but they did. Even my nephew Ryan jumped in!
I made 1 round of all the exercises, which totaled 22 minutes. I had hoped to do the full round of 42 minutes, but it just didn’t happen. I know I got a good workout in though because I wanted to puke a couple of times. That’s how you know you’re doin’ it right. Right? LOL
Or it could have just been the extreme heat and humidity. Whatever.
It was a pretty leg intensive workout, which is what I need. (the boys bitched about it. Said they want more upper body work. hah!) I have large thigh and butt muscles (big butt, SO WHAT?) and I need to focus on getting rid of the extra padding around them. But we did arm work along with the leg work, so we did get a pretty full body workout.
I’m quite pleased with my first attempt, thankyouverymuch.
I ran out of energy faster than expected because I didn’t eat enough calories yesterday. I ate some peanut butter on a whole wheat pita about an hour prior to the workout, but…it just wasn’t enough to get me through. I have GOT to do better about eating more calories during the day. The thing about doing the low carb lifestyle is I’m just not as hungry. Which is GOOD and bad…because I have to eat for energy if I’m going to exercise more than just walking. And of course, if I exercise at night, I generally am not hungry at all afterward. Which means I ended yesterday with only 821 calories and I burned 420. Not good for energy levels.
This morning I made sure I ate a good breakfast. A grilled chicken burrito with Greek Cream Cheese and spinach on a low carb, whole wheat tortilla. It was so tasty and satisfying. And I’m not crabby at all.
We’re gonna be back at it on Wednesday night! I hope I can push myself to do more than half the workout. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the workouts. I need a coach to bully me. LOL Oh, the 80s. How I don’t miss being yelled at and shamed for being curvier and slower than the rest of the basketball team. I certainly wasn’t anywhere close to fat at 135 lbs and 5’6 tall. But to hear the coach tell it, I was morbidly obese and lazy.
Which is why, now that I am overweight, it’s really hard for me to motivate myself. I shame myself for the body I have because I felt so much shame about the body I had. WTF is wrong with adults who shame children like that? Don’t they know that shit sticks?
Eh. The only failure is failing to try again. So, I’m just gonna keep trying until I’m successful.
And I’m going to love me for who I am. Because seriously? I’m pretty
fat-tastic. FANtastic. Awesome even. And I’m gonna rock this body, no matter its size, shape or leftover shame. There is no shame in being human. There is only shame in being an ugly-on-the-inside human.
I am ANYTHING but ugly. Inside or out.
Let’s stay motivated, bitches!
We had an impromptu happy hour at the compound yesterday afternoon. It was lovely.
Before the gathering, I soaked up all the vitamin D possible. I pretended I was on a beautiful beach in the Caribbean, being served lovely, strong island beverages by handsome young, shirtless men.
Don’t you wish you were me?
When I was a little girl, my favorite thing to do on the 4th of July was play fairies.
You don’t know how to play 4th of July Fairies? What is wrong with you!?
You light up sparklers for each hand and you “fly” around the field yelling “I’m a fairy!” I taught Double A this game last night, and we spread our fairy sparkle far and wide at the compound. I’m pretty sure it’s still glowing out there.
Ian and Ben and my brother Mike bought ALL THE LOUD FIREWORKS KNOWN TO MAN and we blew shit up for hours. Well, they did. I lasted about 30 minutes. The skeeters like my sweet blood way too much. They apparently don’t even care if I bath in Off or Skin So Soft or Gasoline. It doesn’t matter. The want to suck me dry.
For a while, the entire county sounded like we were at war. I thought maybe the British were actually returning…and Paul Revere fell down on his job. But by 11:00, the bang, bang, booms had stopped and the world was quiet again.
I think everyone was excited we weren’t under a burn ban. I can’t remember the last time it sounded like that. I bet it’s been since I was a kid.
OMG. we used to have the best 4th of July celebrations when I was younger. Bonfires, roasted weenies, s’mores and lots of booms and bangs. This would have been the perfect year (weather wise, especially) to have brought back the Compound Celebrations, but with Jefe still down with the plague, it just wouldn’t have been the same. (you know he doesn’t feel well when he didn’t even come outside to blow anything up!)
Today, the kids are coming back to test out the waterproof fireworks in the pond and to blow up old toys. Good grief. We have created monsters! (Monsters of awesome)
I still have some sparklers left, so I shall play fairies one more time.
Have a fantabulous weekend, bitches. I will be sparkling and fairying all weekend long. If you need some extra awesome, just stop by the compound. I have plenty to spare!
Ugh. It’s so hard to come back to work after such an awesome weekend. Sigh.
My favorite picture from the weekend? Look at that laugh. LOL This is El Jefe cleaning himself up after weedeating the Compound. Yes. He’s using a leaf blower to remove the debris…and dry his hair. This man makes me smile.
For more awesome weekend pics, check out my instagram... There’s some of Ruby, and coffee, and wine, and MEAT…and various other awesome stuff.
Saturday, El Jefe and I took Rader to see WORLD WAR Z and it was fantastic. Seriously. I jumped and yelped a couple of times. According to Rader “I’m such a girl.” LOL Well, yes, I am.
Rader cracks me up. He texted me all weekend long, sending me jokes and images he finds on reddit. His latest find is r/onetruegod. OMG. Nicholas Cage is the One True God. So freaking hysterical. I believe I may have some Cagey plans for my kiddo now…
And on a final, slightly ranty note… Last week, we all read about Paula Deen’s dirty little not-so-secret issues. And suddenly, people are all up in arms, “forgiving” her on Facebook. DID SHE CALL YOU A MONKEY? No? Is she paying you less money than your white counterparts? No? Did she or her brother tell you “fuck your civil rights?” No? Then what the fuck do you have to forgive? Seriously? IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, PEOPLE. There’s nothing for YOU to forgive. Good Grief. Everything is about you, isn’t it?
You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you, don’t you, don’t you?
Oh John Deere! I can’t wait to see your museum this weekend!
I was thinking I should wear something awesome to commemorate the visit. Is this “dress” too much?
If I put a pink camo John Deere trucker hat on with it, will that dress it down just right?
Of course, if I were to wear this “dress” I’d have to make a few adjustments. Like add about 3 feet of material at the bottom. The neckline is pretty much perfect for my girls…but I would probably want to wear a tank top so as not to overwhelm all the old farmers who are hanging around.
Okay, I’m kidding. Well, not about the pink camo trucker hat..but the dress? Only for Halloween. You know. When it’s appropriate to be a Slutty Tractor.
When you spend as much time on a John Deere Tractor as I do, you tend to develop a bit of a crush. So, it’s only natural that I would be overly-excited about my time at the museum. I can’t wait to sit on a combine. I hope I don’t get kicked out…
El Jefe has a family reunion in Iowa, so we are going to enjoy our time on the Mississippi River while I get to meet his family. I really hope his grandfather comes. The stories about him are always fantastic.
Once the reunion is over, we’re headed to Chicago for 1 night. I’ve never been before, and I know 1 night isn’t enough time, but…it’s PrideFest on Sunday! So it’s like the stars have aligned to make sure Chicago will be full of extra sparkle and fabulousness for my arrival. Thank you, STARS!
In a Walgreens update, I was contacted by the company yesterday after they read my blog. They’ve opened a ticket to investigate the complaint, which I do appreciate. The more I hear from people in my town, the more I realize that this Walgreens in particular seems to refuse to fill narcotic prescriptions on a regular basis. They are “out” a lot and “don’t know when they’ll have more in.” Well, that pretty much makes them the shittiest pharmacy ever if their purpose is to fill prescriptions and they rarely do. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO MONITOR OUR MEDS. That is called “Practicing out of the scope of your position.”
Walgreens. You’re fired.
(You should have heard her heavy sighs and puggly growly noises…)
So Friday I got to take Rader Tater to Oxford! Which means I got to see some dear friends and have a low-key dinner at a new-to-me place: The Bar on North Lamar…which is officially The Lamar Lounge.
The food was great and the atmosphere was chill and a good time was had by all.
Saturday morning, Drea and I walked to another of my favorite places, The Honeybee Bakery. Excellent brunch…but one of the weirdest experiences ever. For some reason, they thought it was appropriate to ask us to remove our hats! Um, no. This is not some ‘chi-chi’ swank place in New York. This is a bakery. So we told them, yes we minded (OMG, we had just walked over a mile to get there, it was hot! And our hair was a mess under our hats) and we asked if we could sit outside to eat our brunch. They approved our request and we enjoyed our quiche and our hats.
The boys had decided to get their dad another frog item or a goat item for Father’s Day. (He has a thing about frogs and goats) We talked about a wind chime or something to hang up in the yard. I was given permission to do the frog hunting for them, since they weren’t able to get together and go themselves like they did for me. There is a new garden store on the west side of Oxford called The Barn and I found a really cool wrought iron and stone frog and the boys approved.
While we were out shopping, I finally got to try on a pair of MONKEY SHOES! I’ve wanted a pair since forever, and finally spoke to someone who was able to help me find the right ones to suit my needs. I really want to use them for my run/walks…I’ve always been a barefoot girl at heart, so I figure these shoes will be perfect for me. (btw, the ‘real’ name of these shoes is Five Fingers, but whatever. They’re MONKEY SHOES!) I can’t wait to order me a pair. Probably next month! YAY ME!
I drove back to LR on Saturday, and watched The Dark Knight Rises with El Jefe and Ian. Then Sunday we had a cookout at the Compound with Lynne and Stacey Jay and her fam. Burgers, dogs, watermelon, guacamole, wine! It was an awesome day.
The weekend ended with the return of TRAINWRECK TV…also known as True Blood.
Oh, and Jefe is so damn sweet. He bought me some plant food for my maters and black out curtains for the boys’ rooms because he is so full of awesome.
Stay tuned for a letter to Walgreens…because after last Friday…we are NEVER, EVER, EVER getting back together.