Tag Archives: Uncategorized

This is just cruel

Posted on by
Reply

I’m currently buried under 7 inches of snow which, let’s be honest, may as well be 7 feet. At least I’m not in Siloam Springs–they did get 2 feet yesterday. I’m pretty sure i would lose all hope for life if I was there right now.


In other awesome news, my Mac finally died. So now I’m snowed in without a computer. This does not bode well.
I’m testing out this blogging via email thing. Let’s hope it works. (attempt #5 Million)
The good news is the sun is bright and even though it’s cold, the white stuff should start melting soon. And Oaklawn swears they are running this weekend. Fingers crossed.

NOT Sent from my iPhone because I couldn’t get it to work to save my snowbound life.

not so much…

Posted on by
Reply

Not sure how you’re gonna wrap this gift up for me…

Seriously? I mean, I get it. Dudes need to check themselves before they wreck themselves but come on…this is the worst Valentine’s Day gift idea/campaign ever.

So, El Jefe, just in case I wasn’t clear… This is a definite NO on your list of ideas for V-day.

Mmmmmmkay? ❤

the day after vacation

Posted on by
Reply

My vacay was officially over on Saturday. I left Maria (in tears of course) and flew home…where I found myself in tears. Remember all that work I did to leave the house spotless before I left? Um, why did I bother?

I’m not complaining. The reality is, the house would’ve looked exactly the same had I been here. There is some good news though…Fishdog did change the doorknobs on the front and carport doors. They look awesome. Copper levers and a new copper deadbolt. I love them. He also cleaned the master bathroom, which was starting to be a scary, scary place.

Today feels weird because it’s Tuesday. I keep thinking it’s Monday.

Sunday (which felt like Saturday) we went to Birdrunner’s house for a cookout. Fishdog and Birdrunner were elementary school classmates and they had a mini-reunion with a few other friends from gradeschool. The best part of the day was when we pulled out old pictures.

I have evidence…which I will gladly show you tomorrow, after I download said evidence.

Be afraid, Birdrunner. Be very afraid.

Hot Reptile Sex

Posted on by
Reply

While I’m slaving away here in Tallahassee writing, Mel is off in the wilds of Arkansas witnessing Hot Reptile Sex.
She’s at the lake, sunning and drinking, and so far she’s seen 2 snakes go at it and a bobcat. I think the bobcat was a voyeur. Not sure yet. Mel will have to clear up that little detail. I just know that she told me “it’s friggin Animal Kingdom up here”.
Questions for Mel to answer upon her return: Do snakes have a penis? Or for that matter, a vagina? I must have been sleeping during biology when this was explained. Either that or the nuns didn’t cover it at Ascension Catholic School.

save the drama for your momma

Posted on by
Reply

Sigh.

Rader is a bit of a drama queen so when he yells and cries, we never know how serious it is. He is the king of “crying wolf” over being hurt. (when he wants attention. When he’s in his own world, he can break his nose and never stop moving. We know this to be true because it has happened…)

So tonight when he started howling and bellowing and hopping around, we were slow to react. But then the howling and bellowing got louder and had a sharp intensity to it that told me “Hm. Maybe this time he did something.”

I run down the stairs where Fishdog is already hovering over Rader yelling “TELL ME WHAT YOU DID. WHAT DID YOU DO! WHERE DOES IT HURT!” So we have Fishdog yelling and Rader bellowing and Ruby bouncing around like it’s the fucking Pug Day Parade and I’m not sure if I need to laugh or cry with Rader.

Apparently he stumped his toe while playing with Ruby. It’s bleeding at the base of his toenail (which is sadly in need of trimming). I’m worried it might be broken because it’s almost doubled in size and Rader is still in pain (it’s been almost an hour). We’ve iced it, propped it up, and he’s taken some Advil. I’ve called the doctor’s office and we have an appt. tomorrow, just in case.

Seriously, it’s gonna suck if his toe is broken. He’s playing AAU Basketball this summer, is trying out for Classic Soccer starting next week, and was supposed to have 2 soccer camps this month. Poor boy is screwed if his big toe is broken.

Here are some pics. If you don’t like feet pictures, look no further. (Maria, this means you.)

Feisty Friday Night!

Posted on by
Reply

I just bought a book from Ellora’s Cave…written by a really hot friend of mine who happens to be a writer.

Go forth and buy Lillian Feisty’s newest release: I LOVE LACY

TRUE OR FALSE:

  1. I once performed at drag queen karaoke with Feisty.
  2. She was with me when I had my nose pierced.
  3. Her favorite karaoke song is I TOUCH MYSELF by the Divinyls
  4. She loves her nipples.
  5. She loves all nipples.
  6. Feisty often saves me from dying of eternal boredom during carpool by texting me dirty messages.
  7. She owns a personal Ms. Pac Man video game machine.
  8. Her favorite toy is her “personal massager.”
  9. She is addicted to tattoos.
  10. She will be with me when I get my first tattoo.
  11. She will put her hand under the towel.
  12. Feisty would run off with Fishdog tomorrow.
  13. Feisty’s favorite word is cuntmonkey.
  14. Feisty is the creator of all things good and evil.
  15. These are Feisty’s tits:


so tell me, what is true and what is false?