My week with Simon is almost over. It’s been a laid back time, no real late nights like before when he and Grant were here together. Which is good. As much as I wished both lads were here together, part of me is equally happy to get them one at a time. A: I couldn’t keep up with the two of them now that school is back B: It gives me some quality time with them alone. Good lads. Both of them.

15 things I learned from a Brummie:

1. There is no such thing as too much Mountain Dew.
2. SpagBol is short for spaghetti bolognese.
3. Strawberry Jam sandwiches are good any time of the day or night.
4. Snickers bars are no replacement for Mars Bars.
5. Birds are girls
6. Pulling a bird has nothing to do with turkey legs.
7. American women (even proper girls) will do almost anything for an English/Scottish accent. Even a Brummie accent.
8. Chips are fries. Crisps are chips.
9. Wet willies are the best torture device ever.
10. You can’t be a cock without being cocky. But you can be cocky without being a cock.
11. The weapons of mass destruction are located wherever he goes.
12. The best way to pull a bird is to make her laugh. (which I thought was a closely guarded secret by us birds, but he’s figured it out)
13. Y’all is the most terrible word ever. *rolling eyes*
14. Family is everything to him.
15. Even if “Brummie” is the worst accent in the world, I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for it.

This is the 2nd week of school and I’ve already gotten a call from the teacher. It seems Rader is testing his limits…seeing if Ms. Teacher will call his bluff.

She did.

And he missed recess because of it. haha. That’s what he gets. He didn’t turn in his homework twice this week. Wait. Let me amend that. He didn’t do his homework twice this week. Twice.

What the hell is wrong with that boy?

He wanted to see if he could charm his new teacher. He can’t. He’s really sorry about that too, as you can imagine. Oh well, no tv for a while isn’t gonna kill him. Neither will doing his brothers’ chores. Punishment’s a bitch…

And so is Rader’s momma.

They cut Alison last night and I was like, WTF?

Seriously. Completely surprised me. I wasn’t a fan of the dress, but, I also didn’t agree with the judges’ comments. “She looks like a plus size model.”

WTF?

No. She didn’t. She looked like a girl wearing a balloony dress made out of paper. She weighs 5 lbs soaking wet. You could drape the girl in a circus tent and she would still look like a waif. It wasn’t so much the dress as it was that stupid hairdo.

The paper balloon dress was still ten times better than Vincent’s art project. But the worst of the outfits was Kayne’s. He should’ve been gone last night. Alison got robbed.

They cut Alison last night and I was like, WTF?

Seriously. Completely surprised me. I wasn’t a fan of the dress, but, I also didn’t agree with the judges’ comments. “She looks like a plus size model.”

WTF?

No. She didn’t. She looked like a girl wearing a balloony dress made out of paper. She weighs 5 lbs soaking wet. You could drape the girl in a circus tent and she would still look like a waif. It wasn’t so much the dress as it was that stupid hairdo.

The paper balloon dress was still ten times better than Vincent’s art project. But the worst of the outfits was Kayne’s. He should’ve been gone last night. Alison got robbed.

Louisa Edwards posted her first ever DECODING DISAPPOINTMENT.

On Wednesdays, Louisa will be posting a rejection letter and decoding it for the world with her ex-editor eyes. Don’t miss it!

Louisa Edwards posted her first ever DECODING DISAPPOINTMENT.

On Wednesdays, Louisa will be posting a rejection letter and decoding it for the world with her ex-editor eyes. Don’t miss it!

*Edited to add: For those of you fairly new to my blog, the “lads” are my “adopted” children. They traveled here from Birmingham, England (Simon)and Prestwick, Scotland (Grant) and stayed with us for a week while they worked the soccer camp in our town. They are now members of the family. To read more about them, Start Here

Simon wants me to stop saying “y’all”.

He hates that word.

With. A. Passion.

How can you hate the word y’all?

I told him that if I had to stop using the word “y’all” that he had to start using his “th” sound. As in, he had to say “thick” instead of “fick”. (And by the way Michele, you have a dirty mind. I’m proud of ya! I laughed my ass off at your comment last night!)

Our conversation went something like this:

“But I’m a Brummie! That’s who I am! That’s asking me to change my accent.”

“How is that different from you asking me to stop saying y’all?”

“It’s different because y’all is terrible word. Terrible. You have other options for that word. I don’t have other options for my accent. You’re butchering the English language.”

Hmph. I don’t buy it. Not for a second. Isn’t “y’all” as much a part of my accent and colloquial nature as his language quirks? Isn’t replacing a TH sound wif an F just as murderous of the English language as the perfectly acceptable contraction (which is in the dictionary) y’all? I mean, I don’t see variant spellings of “TH” words in the dictionary… What do y’all fink?

On another note:

Si coached Rader’s practice last night since Fishdog is still out of town. Watching him work was amazing. He was so good with the kids, and trust me when I say, that was no easy task. One of the boys wouldn’t stop talking. Or moving. But Si managed to keep him in check. I have to say, I was rather impressed by him. Not that I’m surprised…but it sure was fabulous watching him work.

He typed up a report on all the players and his suggestions for their positions and why. He’s gonna give Fishdog a hand for the next two practices. It’ll be fun to watch.

Here are a few more pics from yesterday:

*Edited to add: For those of you fairly new to my blog, the “lads” are my “adopted” children. They traveled here from Birmingham, England (Simon)and Prestwick, Scotland (Grant) and stayed with us for a week while they worked the soccer camp in our town. They are now members of the family. To read more about them, Start Here

Simon wants me to stop saying “y’all”.

He hates that word.

With. A. Passion.

How can you hate the word y’all?

I told him that if I had to stop using the word “y’all” that he had to start using his “th” sound. As in, he had to say “thick” instead of “fick”. (And by the way Michele, you have a dirty mind. I’m proud of ya! I laughed my ass off at your comment last night!)

Our conversation went something like this:

“But I’m a Brummie! That’s who I am! That’s asking me to change my accent.”

“How is that different from you asking me to stop saying y’all?”

“It’s different because y’all is terrible word. Terrible. You have other options for that word. I don’t have other options for my accent. You’re butchering the English language.”

Hmph. I don’t buy it. Not for a second. Isn’t “y’all” as much a part of my accent and colloquial nature as his language quirks? Isn’t replacing a TH sound wif an F just as murderous of the English language as the perfectly acceptable contraction (which is in the dictionary) y’all? I mean, I don’t see variant spellings of “TH” words in the dictionary… What do y’all fink?

On another note:

Si coached Rader’s practice last night since Fishdog is still out of town. Watching him work was amazing. He was so good with the kids, and trust me when I say, that was no easy task. One of the boys wouldn’t stop talking. Or moving. But Si managed to keep him in check. I have to say, I was rather impressed by him. Not that I’m surprised…but it sure was fabulous watching him work.

He typed up a report on all the players and his suggestions for their positions and why. He’s gonna give Fishdog a hand for the next two practices. It’ll be fun to watch.

Here are a few more pics from yesterday:

Last night’s walk was sponsored by: 2 Red Dog road pops, 1 pack wet and squishy Marlboro Reds, 4 Bud Lights and Blockbuster.

If I can lose 3 pounds this week, I’ll be at -30. So, last night I planned to walk for 45 mins. Simon was bored (as he should be…it’s a Monday night in Oxford. Not a lot going on…) and so I told him I’d walk down to Blockbuster and get him a movie. The total walk is a little over 3 miles.

Simon told me what movie he wanted and so off I marched.

I had just loaded my MP3 player with some rockin’ music and before I knew it, 20 mins had passed and I was at Blockbuster. Of course, they didn’t have the movie he wanted so I called him and he said, “Anything sports related.”

I picked up Benchwarmers.

That’s sports related, right? And Simon’s a guy…what guy doesn’t like a good Rob Schneider movie? Especially if that movie’s cast also includes David Spade, Jon Lovitz, and Jon Heder. I mean, that’s a man’s man cast if ever there was one.

Well, apparently Simon isn’t the typical man’s man.

I laughed my ass off. The movie was dumb as shit–but it was supposed to be dumb. Dumb and funny.

Simon said he grew thicker every minute he watched the movie. He then asked me where my dictionary was because he needed to read it in hopes to gain some of his smarts back.

No sense of humor at all.

Simon then suggested that I should make “my favorite” (Grant) watch it when he comes to stay with us in October. He said not to tell Grant that he hated the movie and see what Grant says when it’s over. I may just have to do that.

And if he likes the movie, then he really will be “my favorite”. LOL