It’s that time again. It’s time for me to tell another deep, dark secret.

I’ve shocked y’all before, when I announced my love for Steve from Blue’s Clues…and then, again when I discussed my lust for the young Lucas Black. Not to mention when I outted my secret desire for Marshal Mathers. (Yes, Eminem. I love me some bad boys.) Or that I still liked Air Supply. And I’m sure many of you were surprised to discover my youngest son’s dirty little secret, as well.

But, this secret may out do all of them.

Are you ready to be ashamed of me?

I wanna be Stifler’s Mom.

That’s right. I wanna be a MILF.

It’s true. And it’s unfortunate because it’s ain’t ever gonna happen. I might have a chance to be the cool mom…but I will never be The HOT Mom.

I’m envious of my friend Feisty who is THE hot mom. Actually, she’s THE HAWT mom. I guess I could be her protege and be a MILF in training. I’d have to drop about 4,000 lbs and get the girls lifted, but it could happen.

It’s not that I am into boys that young…I’m not. But I remember growing up, and my friend’s mom was THE hot mom. And all the boys talked about her awesome Farrah Fawcett hair and the sweet convertible and her tight jeans and I thought, “One day, I’m going to be that mom.”

Oh well. I guess not. I will just have to settle with being the mom the boys call when they get into trouble. I’m really okay with that. It’s not a consolation prize by any stretch. But maybe one day, why my boys are in college, one of their friends will confess to me that I was their “Stifler’s Mom.”