A very special guest: CNBC’s Melissa Francis!

Y’all have gone and done it now. You’ve gone and googled Melissa Francis CNBC one too many times.

Each week it’s something new. Usually it’s all about Melissa’s legs, or inquiring about her marital status…but this week–this week you googlers have googled something new.

Is Melissa Francis pregnant?

I can assure you that neither of us are…how can I be so sure about the state of her uterus? Because I emailed her and asked. (actually I believe I said “according to my stats, you are expecting a Melissa Francis, Jr. Congrats if it’s true.”

After we exchanged a few emails, we decided I should conduct an interview for all you googling looky-loos out there…so here goes:

1. Are you pregnant?

I have to wonder what part of my anatomy is sending this signal. Perhaps I ate too much on vacation. Maybe I’ve let our CNBC stylist tailor my clothes a little bit too snuggly. I’m doing sit ups now while I’m typing, by the way.

2. Are you married or do you have a boyfriend?

Larry Kudlow is my TV husband, but alas he is already spoken for. I think my other tv spouse from MSNBC, Contessa Brewer, is way out of my league. Does this answer your question?

and the most often searched for item is about your awesome legs so tell me:

3. How did you get your awesome legs? (please deny working out in any form…)

That is very flattering. It almost compensates for the pain inflicted by question #1. I did run track in high school… I even did a Frosted Flakes commercial that involved me running hurdles when I was an actor in LA… but these days I mostly run to the set when I’m late for my show because I’ve spent too much time admiring David Faber’s hair in the make up room.

4. Have you read my book? (BITE ME! HarperTeen 2009)
I am still waiting for my signed copy.

5. If no: Why not? If yes: Wasn’t it awesome?

The press on it has been outstanding, and I know it is required reading among vampire elite. I may download it to my Kindle and stop waiting next to my mailbox.

6. Is it hard on you when people ask you if you’re ‘The Melissa Francis who wrote that awesome book?’ or do you just roll with it?

I usually lie and say we are the same person. It makes me seem so much more hip and multi-faceted. It’s much better than letting people think I just write about boring market events, the economy, and what I need at the grocery store.

So now @MelissaCNBC is my new BFF. Or I’m her evil twin. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. She’s GRRRRREAT! (Yes, I found the commercial on YouTube. It’s terrible quality, but it’s AWESOME)

Thanks for playing, Melissa. Your book is in the mail.

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