I’m judging you

Okay, I’m not generally a judgy-mcjudgington. I don’t care who you’re sleeping with, where you buy your clothes, if you leave dishes in your sink or have enough dog hair on your floor to weave a rug. It doesn’t matter to me if you believe in/worship God, Dog, Karma, The Universe, Buddah, Brangelina, The Kardashians, or Jim Jones. I almost don’t care what your politics are (I am slightly judging you here. I’m working on that.)

However, if you do any of the things listed below…I’m totally judging you. Because this is when your choices are infringing on me in one respect or another. And let’s face it, this is my blog, so it’s all about me.

Unless you’re physically injured or handicapped, you better not be taking the elevator just one floor. I mean it. Do you know how ridiculous it is for me to travel from floor 12–thinking I’m going to make it all the way to floor 1–only to be stopped on floor 2 because some Mr. Lazy-pants didn’t feel like taking the stairs? Yeah, I’m rolling my eyes at you when you step on the elevator because I’m judging you. If you don’t like it, take the stairs.

When you refuse to put the shopping cart in the cart corral, I’m judging you. And possibly I’m confronting your uber lazy ass as well. Yes, I’m the cart Nazi. Just walk the 3 spaces over and replace the cart. C’mon. You know you can do it. Rain is rarely an excuse. There’s always an exception but my guess is, if you’re reading this blog, the exception doesn’t apply to you.

If your hair has it’s own zip code? Yes, I’m judging you. This goes for all you Bump-It wearers. If I feel the desire to mail your hair a letter, there is a problem. I had big hair once–between the years of 1988 & 1992. If I see your bangs and suddenly start singing a Poison song, you need a new stylist.

If your jeans come to or over your belly button, and/or taper at the ankle, you bet your sweet Chic-jeans I’m judging you. Mom called, she wants her jeans back. And while you’re at it, return those white Keds to her, too. Thanks.

If you’re reading this and can see yourself in any of these examples, well, you know what to do…

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