Dear Internetwebz with your foot fetishes,
Check out my sexy new slippers…
So yesterday, I had a new experience and I’m dying to talk about it. But I can’t. But I’m going to talk about a few things I witnessed while I was experiencing my new experience…
- Ladies and Gentlemen, when you’re in a waiting room (and I don’t care what kind of waiting room it is) please do not listen to your music without headphones.
- Please don’t talk on your bluetooth device as loudly as possible (because you have to raise your voice to compete with the other bluetooth talker.)
- Please, please, please don’t wear the strongest, cheapest, headache inducing perfume known to man, and for the love of the gods, PLEASE don’t respray it while in the waiting room.
- If you’re texting, turn THE VOLUME OFF and use the vibrate or silent mode. I said OFF not UP. Holy crap. That’s an obnoxious texting tone and it does not need to be heard in the next county.
- It’s really not cool to bitch at the people that “you’ve been waiting thirty minutes, hurry the EFF up, already.” That is not going to get you seen any quicker. I promise.
- DON’T FREAKING SMACK YOUR GUM.
- If you’re playing a video game on your iPod, turn the volume OFF.
- See my slippers above? They are to be worn in my house only. Not outside, in the public.
- That robe you have on? Also should be worn at home.
- Ditto the rollers.
Have we learned something today, Internetwebz? I sure hope so…