Dear Internetwebz with your foot fetishes,

Check out my sexy new slippers…

Aw yeah. These are HAWT and you know it. (well the pedicure is, anyway)

So yesterday, I had a new experience and I’m dying to talk about it. But I can’t. But I’m going to talk about a few things I witnessed while I was experiencing my new experience…

• Ladies and Gentlemen, when you’re in a waiting room (and I don’t care what kind of waiting room it is) please do not listen to your music without headphones.
• Please don’t talk on your bluetooth device as loudly as possible (because you have to raise your voice to compete with the other bluetooth talker.)
• Please, please, please don’t wear the strongest, cheapest, headache inducing perfume known to man, and for the love of the gods, PLEASE don’t respray it while in the waiting room.
• If you’re texting, turn THE VOLUME OFF and use the vibrate or silent mode. I said OFF not UP. Holy crap. That’s an obnoxious texting tone and it does not need to be heard in the next county.
• It’s really not cool to bitch at the people that “you’ve been waiting thirty minutes, hurry the EFF up, already.” That is not going to get you seen any quicker. I promise.
• DON’T FREAKING SMACK YOUR GUM.
• If you’re playing a video game on your iPod, turn the volume OFF.
• See my slippers above? They are to be worn in my house only. Not outside, in the public.
• That robe you have on? Also should be worn at home.
• Ditto the rollers.

Have we learned something today, Internetwebz? I sure hope so…