Public Service Announcement

Dear Ladies with Breastesess,

(I’m talking to you of the actual DD+ cup size)

I have discovered Victoria’s Secret.

Apparently their soul purpose is to cater to those of the small breasts…to make them feel better about themselves. Which is a very valiant purpose, if indeed those who are less blessed in the chesticle area need to have their spirits lifted. However, it’s false advertising when someone like myself who wants a bra that fits and makes me look like Heidi Klum with more curves. Because Vicki’s Secret is they don’t measure a cup past DD. So I’ve been a DD for a long time. And that was wrong. So very wrong.

Yesterday, I wore a strapless dress and by the end of the afternoon, I was very distressed by the state of my girls. They seemed very sad. They were giving up. So I drove myself straight to Dillard’s and begged for help.

Let me just tell you, the twins are very happy with their new zip code and housing units.

Ladies. Please…go somewhere other than Vicki to be measured. Dillard’s, Nordstroms, Barbara Graves (in Little Rock)… Your girls will appreciate it. And so will your back.

I promise. 

Celebrate your curves! As my girl Tori said while strapping me in yesterday…”Not every woman is as blessed as you. So wrap them up like they are a prize.”

I am very blessed, indeed.

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