Sigh.

Apparently some school librarians are so shocked that the word “scrotum” appears in a Newbery-winning children’s book, that they are banning it.

“This book included what I call a Howard Stern-type shock treatment just to see how far they could push the envelope, but they didn’t have the children in mind,” Dana Nilsson, a teacher and librarian in Durango, Colo., wrote on LM_Net, a mailing list that reaches more than 16,000 school librarians. “How very sad.”

Yeah, how very sad that you would compare the word scrotum being used properly to the antics of Howard Stern.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

Oh no! I’d truly hate to have to explain the word scrotum to a child between the ages of 9-12. I’m sure they’ve NEVER heard that word before.

My God. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about any 9-12 year olds out there who don’t know what a scrotum is?

Here’s the text that is causing all the uproar:
(set up: Lucky is a 10 year old orphan. She overhears another character talking about seeing his dog get bitten on the scrotum by a rattlesnake.)

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

Now if she had heard “sweaty ballsack” instead of scrotum, then maybe they’d have a point. But when did using anatomically correct terms become so shameful and taboo?

What is wrong with society when we try to shame children for asking things like “what’s a vagina or what’s a scrotum?” Why are some adults embarrassed to answer those questions.

You know, those words are in the dictionary. If you’re not comfortable with answering the question, tell the kid to look it up! But don’t ban a book in the name of shielding the children.

That’s where the shame lies in this story…

Okay, I’ve been tagged on MySpace by Marley and Marly and now on blogger by Monica. I guess I have to play. I’m supposed to post 10 things no one knows about me. The first 5 you may have seen before when I posted “5 interesting things”.

1. I played on an undefeated basketball team all the way through Jr. High. We lost our first game our Sophomore year.
2. I broke my tailbone trying to slip-n-slide standing up. I made it about 1/4 of the way down the strip and busted my ass. Literally. I found out later, someone had added vegetable oil to slip-n-slide. Do not try this at home.
3. I had Lyme’s Disease 4 years ago and now have some minor arthritis in my elbows as a result.
4. The night I met Fishdog I was on a date with another man. (A former schoolmate of Fishdog’s) When the date was over, I called my girlfriend and told her I met the man I was gonna marry. Five months later, we were engaged.
5. I had a cancerous mole removed from my hip when I was fifteen(It had 5 inch roots, so it was a pretty involved sugery. I still have a scar.) When I woke up from the surgery, I asked the doctor to pack and bandage me well enough so I could play softball that night. He laughed and said he’d do it but there would be no way I would even want to play. I hit four homeruns that game.
6. I was adopted as a baby. No I do not know my birth parents. Yes, I would like to find them but not because I am unhappy with my parents. Just natural curiosity. (Plus I wanna know if I can blame my fat ass on genetics or if it’s all my fault)
7. I’ve never traveled outside the United States. I don’t even have a passport. (yet)
8. I smoked for 4 years and quit cold turkey when I turned 21. I still occasionally crave a cigarette.
9. I had toxemia with my first pregnancy. I was on bed rest for 4 weeks and after an emergency C-section due to my off the charts blood pressure, had my baby 4 weeks early. He weighed 5lbs 6 oz and looked like a little treefrog.
10. My second pregnancy was textbook perfect, except that he came 3.5 weeks early. He weighed 8lbs 6 oz and looked like my first born did at 3 months old. LOL. I’m glad he didn’t go to term Sheesh.

Okay, there you go. I’m not tagging anyone, but if you decide to play, leave me a comment so I can check it out.

Anything surprise you?

Okay, I’ve been tagged on MySpace by Marley and Marly and now on blogger by Monica. I guess I have to play. I’m supposed to post 10 things no one knows about me. The first 5 you may have seen before when I posted “5 interesting things”.

1. I played on an undefeated basketball team all the way through Jr. High. We lost our first game our Sophomore year.
2. I broke my tailbone trying to slip-n-slide standing up. I made it about 1/4 of the way down the strip and busted my ass. Literally. I found out later, someone had added vegetable oil to slip-n-slide. Do not try this at home.
3. I had Lyme’s Disease 4 years ago and now have some minor arthritis in my elbows as a result.
4. The night I met Fishdog I was on a date with another man. (A former schoolmate of Fishdog’s) When the date was over, I called my girlfriend and told her I met the man I was gonna marry. Five months later, we were engaged.
5. I had a cancerous mole removed from my hip when I was fifteen(It had 5 inch roots, so it was a pretty involved sugery. I still have a scar.) When I woke up from the surgery, I asked the doctor to pack and bandage me well enough so I could play softball that night. He laughed and said he’d do it but there would be no way I would even want to play. I hit four homeruns that game.
6. I was adopted as a baby. No I do not know my birth parents. Yes, I would like to find them but not because I am unhappy with my parents. Just natural curiosity. (Plus I wanna know if I can blame my fat ass on genetics or if it’s all my fault)
7. I’ve never traveled outside the United States. I don’t even have a passport. (yet)
8. I smoked for 4 years and quit cold turkey when I turned 21. I still occasionally crave a cigarette.
9. I had toxemia with my first pregnancy. I was on bed rest for 4 weeks and after an emergency C-section due to my off the charts blood pressure, had my baby 4 weeks early. He weighed 5lbs 6 oz and looked like a little treefrog.
10. My second pregnancy was textbook perfect, except that he came 3.5 weeks early. He weighed 8lbs 6 oz and looked like my first born did at 3 months old. LOL. I’m glad he didn’t go to term Sheesh.

Okay, there you go. I’m not tagging anyone, but if you decide to play, leave me a comment so I can check it out.

Anything surprise you?

I know, I abandoned you guys again. Sorry.

Work was busy last week, then I went home to meet with some former high school classmates to help plan our 20 year reunion. Yes, 20 years. Shut up.

Never fear though. I have returned with a story.

Tonight was the first of our weekly travels to Tupelo for Ian’s soccer team. Not a bad drive–about 40 minutes away. We’re carpooling and since we have a Mom-mobile, we took a couple of extra kids with us.

After we had our asses handed to us by a much more skilled team we piled back into the Mom-mobile and headed home. We couldn’t have been in the vehicle for more than a minute before the most disgusting smell took us over. I literally gagged. The boys all began to moan and groan and bitch and yell and finally one of them owned it.

“And I got another one brewing.”

Jeeeeeezus.

Now, I am the mother of two boys and the wife to one. I know what farts smell like. I’ve smelled some bad ones. But never, ever, in my life have I smelled something this bad coming out of a live person.

He must’ve eaten a dozen boiled eggs and chased them with a pint of kerosene.

We spent much of the drive home with the windows down. Not fun–but still better than the disgusting fume exiting out of the anus from hell.

What the frick is wrong with the male species? Teenage girls (and full grown women) would rather eat a light bulb than fart in public. And if a girl had ever popped an air biscuit that could be used in biological warfare–she would’ve switched schools to avoid the gossip. And if one had slipped through the crack (haha) and someone else took the blame, she’d be totally okay with that.

But boys? No. They claim the anus-fume proudly. It’s just not right.

(I’m telling ya, this boy would’ve wiped out a couple of villages with the passing one biscuit.)

I know, I abandoned you guys again. Sorry.

Work was busy last week, then I went home to meet with some former high school classmates to help plan our 20 year reunion. Yes, 20 years. Shut up.

Never fear though. I have returned with a story.

Tonight was the first of our weekly travels to Tupelo for Ian’s soccer team. Not a bad drive–about 40 minutes away. We’re carpooling and since we have a Mom-mobile, we took a couple of extra kids with us.

After we had our asses handed to us by a much more skilled team we piled back into the Mom-mobile and headed home. We couldn’t have been in the vehicle for more than a minute before the most disgusting smell took us over. I literally gagged. The boys all began to moan and groan and bitch and yell and finally one of them owned it.

“And I got another one brewing.”

Jeeeeeezus.

Now, I am the mother of two boys and the wife to one. I know what farts smell like. I’ve smelled some bad ones. But never, ever, in my life have I smelled something this bad coming out of a live person.

He must’ve eaten a dozen boiled eggs and chased them with a pint of kerosene.

We spent much of the drive home with the windows down. Not fun–but still better than the disgusting fume exiting out of the anus from hell.

What the frick is wrong with the male species? Teenage girls (and full grown women) would rather eat a light bulb than fart in public. And if a girl had ever popped an air biscuit that could be used in biological warfare–she would’ve switched schools to avoid the gossip. And if one had slipped through the crack (haha) and someone else took the blame, she’d be totally okay with that.

But boys? No. They claim the anus-fume proudly. It’s just not right.

(I’m telling ya, this boy would’ve wiped out a couple of villages with the passing one biscuit.)

No, not the Prince song…I’m talking books.

There’s a wonderful interview with Lauren Baratz-Logsted posted on LitPark. Go forth and read.

Sorry I haven’t been around much, it’s a busy week at work. I’ll post more later.

No, not the Prince song…I’m talking books.

There’s a wonderful interview with Lauren Baratz-Logsted posted on LitPark. Go forth and read.

Sorry I haven’t been around much, it’s a busy week at work. I’ll post more later.

Okay, first of all, I’m not a fan of award shows. I love movies and music and fashion, but I could care less about the actual show. I know, I’m a heathen. Shoot me.

Anyway, we flipped the channel just in time to see The Police reunite. Holy shit. I think I peed a little. I don’t care how old Sting is…he’s freaking hot. I mean, uber hot. He’s the kinda hot that makes hot seem cold.

He’s so hot he’s HAWT.

And he can sing, too.

Then we flipped back to Extreme Home Makeover. Now, I like this show, but c’mon, they need to quit hitting us over the head with how much the deserving family deserves the house. Ty talks in his “serious” voice and I roll my eyes. Sorry, I’m a bitch like that. I get that this is serious, but honestly, I get the picture. Just build the house. That’s what we all really wanna see.

Anyway, Ty put on his serious voice, so we flipped back to the Grammy’s. And just in time to see The Dixie Chicks perform. Now, I love these women. The song kicked ass and they all looked awesome.

And somebody ought to be nicer to Stevie Wonder. I’m happy he won a Grammy, but his coat was ugly as sin. His stylist ought to be shot. He’s blind, for God’s sake. He can’t tell you “No, that’s ugly as shit.” I guess his stylist must be blind, too.

Then we flipped back to EHM only to find out that my man Ed was injured. Sorry I missed it Ed, I wouldn’t have, but Ty had a bad case of serious voice this show and we couldn’t stomach it. The thing we love about Ed is that he reminds us of our Brummie Boy. He says things like “brover” for “brother” and “wif” instead of “with” and it makes us miss Simon.

Now I’m watching Justin Timberlake, who I have admitted, I would rob the cradle for. But this is probably it for the night.

Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters here I come…