Yeah, I’m pretty certain I might fail 5th grade if I took their year end test today.

So, the young’uns and I watched this show tonight. Holy Crap! I’m an idiot.

You know, at one time, I thought I was pretty smart. But tonight, I discovered that common sense and smarts are not necessarily synonymous.

Ursa Major? had no idea it was the constellation in which the Big Dipper resides.
NA? it’s the elemental abbreviation for sodium. (yeah, at one time, I know that. But now that I’m a tainted adult…the only thing NA stands for is Narcotics Anonymous.)
How many teaspoons in 5 tablespoons? Okay, I cook and still didn’t know. I thought 20…but actually it was 15.

Anyway, if you ever have a desire to feel inadequate and still be slightly entertained, tune into Fox and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. Seriously. It’s enlightening.

(BTW, my 3rd grader was as smart as the 5th graders. He correctly answered two more questions than I did. Is it strange that I felt shame and pride simultaneously?)

Somebody please.

Just. Shoot. Me.

Honestly. It might save a child’s life….

Somebody please.

Just. Shoot. Me.

Honestly. It might save a child’s life….

I’m a pretty passionate person and therefore, I have a hot button or two.

One is censorship in any form. (as noted by my outrage over the proposal to ban books because of the word scrotum)

Another is forcing your beliefs onto someone else…whether they be political, religious, or parenting styles.

And another is copyright infringement. Even before I was a writer, I believed in supporting the artist whenever possible. I don’t like to buy books or CDs at garage sales or resale stores because I think it’s important the artist gets paid for their work. So, imagine my shock and frustration to discover that esnips.com allows its members to post full books in their entirety for free download.

Authors like Meg Cabot, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kasey Michaels, Lemony Snicket, John Grisham, Jayne Ann Krentz, Linda Howard, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Alison Kent, Gena Showalter, Jaci Burton, Jennifer Crusie…need I go on?

Offering free downloads of books is taking money directly out of the author’s pocket. It has to be stopped.

I’m a pretty passionate person and therefore, I have a hot button or two.

One is censorship in any form. (as noted by my outrage over the proposal to ban books because of the word scrotum)

Another is forcing your beliefs onto someone else…whether they be political, religious, or parenting styles.

And another is copyright infringement. Even before I was a writer, I believed in supporting the artist whenever possible. I don’t like to buy books or CDs at garage sales or resale stores because I think it’s important the artist gets paid for their work. So, imagine my shock and frustration to discover that esnips.com allows its members to post full books in their entirety for free download.

Authors like Meg Cabot, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kasey Michaels, Lemony Snicket, John Grisham, Jayne Ann Krentz, Linda Howard, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Alison Kent, Gena Showalter, Jaci Burton, Jennifer Crusie…need I go on?

Offering free downloads of books is taking money directly out of the author’s pocket. It has to be stopped.

I have it bad.

It’s been sunny and the temp has been in the 60s this week and I’ve been dying to play hooky.

Here is a list of my favorite spring things:

1. Sleeping with the windows open
2. Waking to birds chirping
3. Daffodils
4. The smell of the first mow of the season
5. Sitting on my back patio drinking a glass of white wine
6. Dining al fresco
7. Thunderstorms one day, beautiful, bright, blue skies the next
8. Soccer when it’s warm
9. Walking after work
10. Honeysuckle

What about you? What is your favorite spring thing?

I have it bad.

It’s been sunny and the temp has been in the 60s this week and I’ve been dying to play hooky.

Here is a list of my favorite spring things:

1. Sleeping with the windows open
2. Waking to birds chirping
3. Daffodils
4. The smell of the first mow of the season
5. Sitting on my back patio drinking a glass of white wine
6. Dining al fresco
7. Thunderstorms one day, beautiful, bright, blue skies the next
8. Soccer when it’s warm
9. Walking after work
10. Honeysuckle

What about you? What is your favorite spring thing?

This planning ahead thing is a fairly new concept for me.

The fam and I are headed to sunny Florida in two weeks. Since we’ll be gone for 11 days, the Fishdog and I have decided it might be prudent to start planning now.

So yesterday at lunch, we began to plan by making lists. Now, I’ve never been a list maker. I’m more of an organic, go-with-the-flow kinda gal. List making has always been too structured for me. You MUST complete this list or you have failed! Aaaagh! That goes against my go-with-the-flow nature!

But, I’m glad we made a list, cuz I see Fishdog has a lot to do before we leave.

I really can’t wait to head out. We’re going to Tallahassee for a couple of days to visit the GeraciClan. Then we’re headed down to Orlando to do the Disney/Universal Stuidos thing for a few days. We’re meeting my parents and my brother and his family there. We’ve rented a big house with a pool, so it should be a lot of fun. (with the help of a fermented beverage or two. That is a lot of family in one space…)

Rader hasn’t been to Disney yet. He’s 9, so it should be just about right for him to truly enjoy the rides. I’m excited about riding the Incredible Hulk Coaster with Rader. Totally stoked. Ian likes coasters, but he’s not fond of upside down…I prefer upside down over long drops. The Incredible Hulk Coaster has 7 inversions. Awesome.

After our Orlando stint, we’re traveling to the coast for a day or two. Ahhhh, the beach. I’ll get to see my friend and now my face crack dealer, Angie, and her sweet six month old baby. And if it all works out, I’ll get to meet Mr. Angie.

Then it’s home again. Fishdog will be busy with laundry on Sunday while I rest. Laying out on the beach can be exhausting!

Sigh.

Apparently some school librarians are so shocked that the word “scrotum” appears in a Newbery-winning children’s book, that they are banning it.

“This book included what I call a Howard Stern-type shock treatment just to see how far they could push the envelope, but they didn’t have the children in mind,” Dana Nilsson, a teacher and librarian in Durango, Colo., wrote on LM_Net, a mailing list that reaches more than 16,000 school librarians. “How very sad.”

Yeah, how very sad that you would compare the word scrotum being used properly to the antics of Howard Stern.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

Oh no! I’d truly hate to have to explain the word scrotum to a child between the ages of 9-12. I’m sure they’ve NEVER heard that word before.

My God. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about any 9-12 year olds out there who don’t know what a scrotum is?

Here’s the text that is causing all the uproar:
(set up: Lucky is a 10 year old orphan. She overhears another character talking about seeing his dog get bitten on the scrotum by a rattlesnake.)

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

Now if she had heard “sweaty ballsack” instead of scrotum, then maybe they’d have a point. But when did using anatomically correct terms become so shameful and taboo?

What is wrong with society when we try to shame children for asking things like “what’s a vagina or what’s a scrotum?” Why are some adults embarrassed to answer those questions.

You know, those words are in the dictionary. If you’re not comfortable with answering the question, tell the kid to look it up! But don’t ban a book in the name of shielding the children.

That’s where the shame lies in this story…