achieving MILF status the SMART way

Everyone knows one of my goals in life is to be Stifler’s Mom aka a MILF.

Last night, I was asked how I would know when I reached MILF status and I said, “I don’t have a clue, but surely I’ll get there.”

His response: “You need SMART goals for your MILF ambitions.”

WTF? SMART goals?

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound

Okay, that’s just a little too sciencey for me and my goal of becoming a cougar. So I said, “That’s so sciencey. Can’t I just know when I get there?”

“How will you know? When one of your kids’ friends slaps you on the tushy?” (and yes, he said tushy. I thought about changing it to ass but decided to leave it in there because that’s funny as shit.)

LMAO. Yes, that’s exactly how I will know. Or when I read a text message that says, “Dude, your mom is hot.”

Instant MILF.

But his suggestion got me to thinking, is there a way to develop Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals for becoming a MILF?

C’mon gang! Let’s explore!

  • Specific: Well, that’s easy. I wanna be a MILF. I’m already the equivalent of a naughty librarian which is hot, but not my ultimate goal. So there’s the specific. Or does he mean I need to achieve specific objectives in order to become a MILF? See? too Sciencey. Dammit. Can you guys give me some specific objectives? I’m all out of ideas.
  • Measurable: Um. Is there a certain number of teenage boys that need to be lured by my siren song before it counts? I’m not really sure how to measure this.
  • Achievable: Yes. (LOL that’s funny. I just made myself snort)
  • Realistic: Again, Yes. (see above comment about snorting)
  • Time-bound: ASAP. Okay, well theoretically, I’ve got time. I have 2 sons. So if I can’t achieve MILFiness in 4 years, I have another 4 to try. But my guess is I will achieve much sooner than that. Because really? As stated, I’m already a Naughty Librarian. Surely MILF isn’t that far away.

So what do you think? Is it possible to apply science to such an unscientific goal? Is there such a thing as over-thinking?(yes)

How do you think I’ll know when I’ve achieved MILF. Will I ever know?

Taking bets now–will I EVER make it to MILF?

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