Why is it that I can wake up at 6 a.m. with no problems and feel well rested on a Sunday, but come a work day, I feel like I’ve been trampled by an elephant?

Why does my dog bark at the mailman when he’s a block away on a different street? Also, why does my dog have a problem with the neighbors parking in their own driveway?

Why don’t houses come with a ‘self-cleaning’ option?

Why can’t I go to a movie without buying popcorn? It’s ridiculously expensive and stupid to purchase it, yet it tastes so good I can’t resist!

Why did my daddy nickname me Lissa Jane when I was growing up when my middle name is Renee?

Why does the word ‘fart’ make Rader laugh?

How is it I can find 30 4-leaf clovers in fifteen minutes, but I can’t pick a winning lottery number? What the hell kinda crack-job luck is that?

How excited am I that in 3 weeks (exactly 21 days from today) you’ll be able to buy my debut novel BITE ME! off the shelves?