a melfellaneous mish mash

So, the big ‘controversial’ news this week is that the AP Stylebook has removed the term “illegal immigrant” and officially replaced it with “undocumented immigrant.”


You know why it’s good? Because immigrants are human and humans cannot be illegal only their actions. They are literally people who entered the country illegally. This makes them undocumented (adjective describing the lack of legal paperwork to support the person’s presence) immigrants (noun the defines a person who comes to a country to take up residence).

It is illegal (adjective describing an action not authorized by law) for any person to immigrate to this country without documentation. Therefore they are undocumented immigrants.


If we don’t see them as humans, we begin to lose our humanity. Yes, we need immigration reform, but more than anything, we need to remember that immigrants (documented or otherwise) are human.

What else did I want to talk about this morning?

Oh yeah! My kid asked me this morning if I would take him to the hazynation reunion show this weekend. OMG. LOL This is a band that I first saw when they opened for the Gunbunnies at Juanita’s…another local favorite band at the time. We were at almost every local show they played for the longest time. There was this one chick who was also at every show that we called “Windmill chick”. She was awesome. She danced by windmilling her arms and doing this hoppy march to the beat.

Hmmmm. Anything else? The weather was awesomely stormy last night. There were some tornadoes in the state, but the majority of Central Arkansas just endured heavy rains, thunder, lightning and wind. And the temp dropped to in the 40s after being 80! Once the house cooled off, it was perfect snuggling weather.

Happy Thursday, y’all! Today is hair day! My Go Go Red will be shining bright like a ruby today!

Hope you enjoyed today’s Mel-O-Jumble. Get your sparkle on and make these clouds go away, you hear?

a Mel-O-Jumble

Bootcamp was great last night. My legs are definitely getting stronger as is my core. Our trainer, Marietta, is offering a 5:00 a.m. yoga class starting next week that I’d really like to do, but I’m afraid I can’t get my butt up and get there that early.

However, I think I’m gonna give it a go. It’s once a week for 4 weeks. I’m a big girl. I can do it. I’ll just put my grown up pants on and get out of bed. (What that really means is, I’ll just sleep in my yoga clothes, roll out of bed and head to the gym half awake.)

Arkansas plays Ole Miss this weekend here in Little Rock. If any of y’all are headed here from Oxford, give me a shout. Jefe and I are probably gonna hit the tailgating early. I have to have Rader at the stadium by 6:30 a.m. to assist the parking. It’s an early game, so I’m thinking there will be a lot of solo cups full of bloody maries and mimosas!

Halloween is next week! I keep getting costume emails. Why do these costume stores think ALL women want to go as “SWAT Hottie” or Sexy WHATEVER. Ugh. My new favorite? Sexy Bat.

Someone in my family used to say “People who dress as the slutty witch for Halloween, are just slutty and the holiday just gives them an excuse to flaunt it.”

Thankfully I’m okay with being sexy year around. This year, I just want to wear a fun wig and makeup. My sexiness is natural, enhancing it with such a costume might cause a rift between universes. I can’t be responsible for that.

Though I will admit that it might be a lot of fun to be a slutty big bird….Feathers and fishnets OH MY!

Whatever you decide to be for Halloween, wear it well. And if you decide to be a slutty bat this year, please stop by the PartyHood so I can see it! Warning, I will judge you based on the advertisement. You better have the rack to fill that top! I wanna see your tits plunging forward and giving people black eyes!

a pick me up from The Universe

Sometimes The Universe really knows how to make me smile:

Your secret blessing, Melissa, is that no matter where you go in time and space, you only ever have to be yourself – as courageous, vulnerable, bold, or afraid as you may feel – to find yourself amongst friends.

So loved, The Universe

Then it added a little PS:

You’re actually kind of like chocolate to other people, Melissa, when you’re just being yourself.

I like the idea that I’m like chocolate…

toes, rose, nose, blows, snows, hos…

I got nuttin’ of value for you today. But apparently I like to rhyme.

Let’s see if I can work all of the title into a blog:
I woke up feeling pretty darn great today. That’s always a bonus, especially since yesterday I felt pretty crappy all day. My nose was all stopped up yesterday so there was lots of blowin’ goin’ on.

The last two days I’ve woken to the smell of roses, which means I’m rising and shining with a happy smile. I highly recommend you try this at home–it’s pretty darn awesome.

I have spring fever so bad I can taste it. (or smell it… ) Thank goodness the snow is all gone. I’m about to call Lola the Toe Girl and schedule my post-winter pedicure. I’m trying to decide on my first color of the season. I’m really digging the OPI Texas Collection for 2011….And I’m torn between 3 lovers colors–feelin’ like a fool… Ooops, bad digression there. Sorry about the earworm I may have just given you…

What do you think?

I’m pretty drawn to Austin-tacious Turquois, Y’all Come Back Ya Hear?, and Guy Meets Gal-veston…

Decisions, decisions.

The post-winter pedicure is very important because it marks the beginning of my annual Feet & Leg pictures… And let’s face it, nobody wants to see crusty feet, nasty toes, or ashy legs when you’re posting pics of them on the internetwebz…

And finally, I have some much needed time with my girls tonight and tomorrow. (ie: the hos or is it hoes? It’s not ho’s….because even though my hos possess many awesome things, in this sentence it is plural and not possessive…) Well, I’m sticking with hos because even though we’ve all collected our share of tools over the years, none of us are actually a garden utensil.

There! I did it. I made my title match my blog. I am awesome. And I rhymed. I could probably continue, but I think I’ll just let it go(es)…

hey baby. what’s your sign?

Well the good news is, I’m still a Pisces. Whew.

I have to tell you, I’m not sure I want to be anything else, so if I had woken up yesterday to hear that I was now an Aquarius or an Aries or some brand new unpronouncable sign, I would probably have been upset. But since I’m still a Pisces, I’m all good. Also, CNN reports your Zodiak has not changed and why. If CNN says so you know it’s true because they are “The worldwide leader in news.” And a new Zodiak sign is big news, yo.

Yesterday was one of those days I would have happily erased from the calendar if I had a magic day eraser. It was absolutely, positively craptastic. But the good news is, I have some amazing friends and they really know how to make me feel better, no matter what’s going on. I am a lucky girl, no matter how unlucky I feel sometimes.

My horoscope says this is gonna be a banner month for me when it comes to love and money. I’ll raise my glass to that…

I am definitely wrong in all the right ways. Have a great weekend y’all!

a monday mel-o-jumble!

Saturday was so pretty and warm, El Jefe and I decided to climb Pinnacle Mountain. I haven’t done this in years…and let me tell you, if I thought my ass hurt after the Death March with Birdrunner on Thursday? Yeah, not-so-much after the climb to the top of Everest Pinnacle. But it was worth it. Check out the view:

After a beautiful day and lovely evening with friends, we woke to frost on Sunday. Bitter, yucky cold. Now, I knew it was coming, but seriously, I just like my warm weather. I’m not a cold weather girl unless there is snow on the ground. And even then, I’m pretty much done with it after two days.

Gimme sun, sand, surf!

In other weekend news, the terrorists kittehs have discovered the red laser. And Kitty G will climb walls to get to it. Hours of entertainment, y’all.

I blogged at Fictionistas today about Holiday music and my lack of Christmas Spirit…but I’m working on it. There is only one song I really wanna hear right now, and here’s my favorite commercial made from that song….

Hope y’all had a good weekend. Not doing my half-marathon training today…but we’ll get back to it tomorrow. I may do my Jillian Michaels DVD tonight, though. That woman can pack a punch in a 20 minute workout. She also scares me a little, so I’m afraid to slack off because I think she knows and can jump out of the TV and yell at me in person.

Dear Friday. Thank you for getting here. Love Melf.

Seriously. I’m so ready for this damn week to be over. And I apologize for all the kevetching I’ve done this week. It’s not like me, I know. Usually I’m all sunshine and butterflies (and sparkles, OH MY!) but I just haven’t had it in me all week long. I’m Mrs. CrabbyPants. Or Mrs. CrankyPants. Or Mrs. BitchyPants. Whatever. *grumblehissgrumblehiss*

I baked my first pie in my lovely gas oven last night. Baking is an art and usually I create beautifully baked art. And last night’s pie…looked beautiful. And it tasted wonderful. BUT the bottom crust didn’t cook all the way through and my apple filling was runnier than usual. It was an off night for the pie queen.

But I look really cute in an apron, don’t you think?

Okay, so next week will be better. I will do my best to take my bitchy britches off and burn them. I don’t like it when I feel cranky all the time. It’s just not natural to me! I like being fun, flirty, and full of sparkle. So you better put on your shades next week cuz I’m bringing sparkle back…

a mish mash of mel

Trivia Night at Touchdown Sally’s:

Team BITE ME! was again victorious! Together, this motley crew could rule the world of useless knowledge.

The kids:

Ian was wounded in battle yesterday during PE. His ankle was as big as his head for a little while…but according to fishdog, he seemed better this morning. He’s hobbling still but he’ll survive.

Rader has a chess tournament this weekend. I love my kid and would do anything for him, but spending all day watching these kids play chess is about as much fun as watching paint dry.


Pepper Jack is available at Amazon in hardcover, paperback and Kindle and it was written by friend of mine and fellow Arkansan, Jon Pendergrass. I’m downloading it to Rader’s Kindle today…shhhhh don’t tell him the reason he got a Kindle was so that I could use it!!

Jackson Pritchard is a wanted man. Wanted by his clients, by an ex-lover, by a new love interest…and now by the police for questioning. His clients have begun to turn up dead.
Jessica Young wants to live her own life for a change. Now that her second life is ready to begin, her path crosses Jackson’s. Follow them across the country and further as their adventures culminate in an explosive and surprise ending. Pepper Jack is a thriller much in the style of James Patterson. Set predominantly in Memphis, it is filled with rich Southern character and characters.

Weird stuff:
I’ve had 2 nose bleeds in 2 days. I hope this isn’t a direct result of the shelf incident. Phil the Lump is now Phil the Light Bruise. I’m thinking the nose bleeding thing is just my sinuses. Still, it sucks.

The skeeviest thing on earth happened to me yesterday. I’m not going to talk about details but I will say that an offer was made that I couldn’t decline quickly enough. And then I wanted to take a shower–in bleach.

Miscellaneous (did I spell that correctly? I always mess that up…)

I’m thinking of making my own laundry detergent. Anyone out there ever done it before? What did you think? At $.02 a load, I’m thinking it’s worth a try….

• 4 cups of water.
• 1/3 bar of cheap soap, grated.
• 1/2 cup washing soda (not baking soda).
• 1/2 cup of Borax (20 Mule Team).
• 5-gallon bucket for mixing.
• 3 gallons of water.

First, mix the grated soap in a saucepan with 4 cups of water, and heat on low until the soap is completely dissolved. Add hot water/soap mixture to 3 gallons of water in the 5-gallon bucket, stir in the washing soda and Borax, and continue stirring until thickened. Let the mix sit for 24 hours, and voila! Homemade laundry detergent.

a head full of useless knowledge…but is it really useless?

Tuesday nights have turned into one of my favorite nights of the week. (Not sure it will ever surpass Girls Night Out on Thursdays, but it’s a very close 2nd)

What started out as a one-time gig has turned into a weekly occurrence. Trivia Night is held at Touchdown Sally’s in Benton every Tuesday night. It’s put on by Challenge Entertainment of Little Rock and the host is Brent Jackson (he does a bang up job, btw). Last night’s trivia topics were movies, television, sports, animals, music, cartoon theme songs, US history, recent events, celebrities, weather, politics, solar system, technology, advertising and state capitals! Halftime category: US Geography Wager of Death category: Chart Toppers

Our team name is BITE ME! (gee, wonder why we chose that name? could it be that maybe someone one the team wrote a book titled BITE ME!?) And our first week, we kinda sucked it up. Like big time. But we started late and didn’t know all the rules.

Now, we’re in the top three and after our big win last night (2nd win overall) we might be #1. If not, we’re close…very, very close!

My oldest kid has been joining us and last week, Cmac brought his giant of a kid (14 years old and 6’2! Not even kidding) and last night, All-Caps Kristal brought her kid to join us. And let me just tell you, the kids helped out. I never would’ve known the capitol of Pennsylvania was Harrisburg without Kristal’s kid Hunter! And last week, both Dylan and Ian answered a couple of questions that we weren’t sure of. It was awesome!

If Live Team Trivia is offered at a bar/restaurant near you, I highly suggest you give it a try. Team BITE ME! is hoping to play for the $10,000 prize! How awesome would that be, Internet?

Pretty damn awesome.


If you’ve tried to contact me via my contact page, I have apparently not been receiving my emails since Feb 20! Please use this email address until this problem has been rectified:

oatmellow @ gmail . com

(without the spaces, naturally. don’t want those stupid spam bots sending me unwanted sex spam. unless it’s good sex spam…but it never is…)