Today, I return to vacation blogging.

So, when we last left off, I was irritated at my brother (whom I love very much but he drives me crazy) for forcing his kid onto rides at Epcot. Bro took nephew back to the house at lunch and The Fishdog and I took the kids to the World Showcase in search of food.

We bipassed Canada (my apologies to my Canadian friends–we did circle back around for a visit) and headed straight to the UK…because the kids wanted Fish -n- Chips and we wanted Ale.

We sat outside the Rose and Crown and enjoyed our fare–even though we had to ignore the swarming seaguls and ducks. Seriously, it was like we were the prologue to an Alfred Hitchcock movie. (pictures will be in a follow up post)

Once we were sated (I said that for you, Fishdog), we began our tour of the UK. We noticed a small crowd gathering in the street, so like the good Mississippians we are, we decided to rubberneck and see what was going on.

It was a comedy troupe doing a street performance of King Arthur and the Holy Grail. (the abridged version) It was kinda like Monty Python meets Disney.

There was crowd participation, of course. We walked up in the middle of the training, so we missed a few of the prompts and hand gestures.

Anyway, first things first, they introduced the King. (long live the king!) And of course, the king(long live the king!) would be played by a cute little round man in the crowd. Each time they said one particular phrase, the king (long live the king!)was instructed to respond “Ha cha cha cha! Yeah Baby!” And our king (long live the king!) did so with gusto.

They continued the story and introduced Lancelot, who was a cast member. As Lancelot spoke, another cast member trolled in and out of the crowd searching for the perfect Gallahad. He picked the guy sitting right in front of me. (Whew! I’m thinking. That means they’ll go to the other side of the crowd to choose another character)

Of course, if you really don’t want to participate in a street play, don’t make eye contact with the leader of the troupe. And especially don’t comment back when he calls you out for being late and not knowing all the routines.

So, they’ve introduced Sir Gallahad he has to gallop around the stage area, and the king (long live the king!) and then they begin talking about The Evil Wizard Pelham! (Whew, I’m thinking. Everyone knows wizards are men…)

Um. Nope. Wizards can be both, apparently.

The Evil Wizard Pelhem is beauitful, but so very evil! announces the lovely lady on the stage She says some other funny things as the recruiting cast member weaves his way through the crowd. He walks past me, stands in front of another lady, and again I’m thinking WHEW. Until he puts the scarf around my neck.

Yes. I’m The Evil Wizard Pelhem. Be afraid. Be very afraid…

Now, the recruiter stands next to me and whispers to me. “She’ll introduce you and when she does, you must saunter across the stage sexily.” (he says in a lovely british accent) “Can you saunter sexily?”

Hahaha. Me? Saunter Sexily? Boy did he pick the right wizard.

I sauntered. I swayed. I sashayed. I laughed until I had tears rolling down my face.

I played along of course, and did everything as instructed. At different points in the show, each member of the cast came up to me and thanked me for participating. I said, “Well of course, who wouldn’t play along?” And my little guy said, “You wouldn’t believe how often it happens and it’s really no fun when the evil wizard doesn’t play along.”

Today, I return to vacation blogging.

So, when we last left off, I was irritated at my brother (whom I love very much but he drives me crazy) for forcing his kid onto rides at Epcot. Bro took nephew back to the house at lunch and The Fishdog and I took the kids to the World Showcase in search of food.

We bipassed Canada (my apologies to my Canadian friends–we did circle back around for a visit) and headed straight to the UK…because the kids wanted Fish -n- Chips and we wanted Ale.

We sat outside the Rose and Crown and enjoyed our fare–even though we had to ignore the swarming seaguls and ducks. Seriously, it was like we were the prologue to an Alfred Hitchcock movie. (pictures will be in a follow up post)

Once we were sated (I said that for you, Fishdog), we began our tour of the UK. We noticed a small crowd gathering in the street, so like the good Mississippians we are, we decided to rubberneck and see what was going on.

It was a comedy troupe doing a street performance of King Arthur and the Holy Grail. (the abridged version) It was kinda like Monty Python meets Disney.

There was crowd participation, of course. We walked up in the middle of the training, so we missed a few of the prompts and hand gestures.

Anyway, first things first, they introduced the King. (long live the king!) And of course, the king(long live the king!) would be played by a cute little round man in the crowd. Each time they said one particular phrase, the king (long live the king!)was instructed to respond “Ha cha cha cha! Yeah Baby!” And our king (long live the king!) did so with gusto.

They continued the story and introduced Lancelot, who was a cast member. As Lancelot spoke, another cast member trolled in and out of the crowd searching for the perfect Gallahad. He picked the guy sitting right in front of me. (Whew! I’m thinking. That means they’ll go to the other side of the crowd to choose another character)

Of course, if you really don’t want to participate in a street play, don’t make eye contact with the leader of the troupe. And especially don’t comment back when he calls you out for being late and not knowing all the routines.

So, they’ve introduced Sir Gallahad he has to gallop around the stage area, and the king (long live the king!) and then they begin talking about The Evil Wizard Pelham! (Whew, I’m thinking. Everyone knows wizards are men…)

Um. Nope. Wizards can be both, apparently.

The Evil Wizard Pelhem is beauitful, but so very evil! announces the lovely lady on the stage She says some other funny things as the recruiting cast member weaves his way through the crowd. He walks past me, stands in front of another lady, and again I’m thinking WHEW. Until he puts the scarf around my neck.

Yes. I’m The Evil Wizard Pelhem. Be afraid. Be very afraid…

Now, the recruiter stands next to me and whispers to me. “She’ll introduce you and when she does, you must saunter across the stage sexily.” (he says in a lovely british accent) “Can you saunter sexily?”

Hahaha. Me? Saunter Sexily? Boy did he pick the right wizard.

I sauntered. I swayed. I sashayed. I laughed until I had tears rolling down my face.

I played along of course, and did everything as instructed. At different points in the show, each member of the cast came up to me and thanked me for participating. I said, “Well of course, who wouldn’t play along?” And my little guy said, “You wouldn’t believe how often it happens and it’s really no fun when the evil wizard doesn’t play along.”

Actually, I’m bothered by more than two things, but these hit me successively last night while watching tv.

Here goes.

Let’s talk commericals folks. As I was eagerly awaiting the return of Jack Bauer, two commericals came on for my viewing (dis)pleasure.

The new Gap commerical with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. I really like the commercial. I like the music, I like the dancing, I like the poking fun at each other.

But then, I discover as I’m tapping my foot and singing along, that she puts on his pants.

Sigh.

That will never be me. I am a woman and actually have hips. Okay, yes, big hips. Child bearing hips. I’m curvy. (you know most women are…) And unless I am with a man who is as wide as he is tall, I’ll never be able to “wear his pants better”. (btw– I am NOT dumpy or frumpy and being a heavy set/curvy/round woman is NOT synonymous with dumpy or frumpy. I know some skinny bitches who are dumpier than I’ll ever be…)*

The thought that I’ll never wear the boyfriend pant is kinda depressing. I’m not petite and never will be. And even if I lost 100 lbs and became underweight, I still wouldn’t be small because of my build. I’m muscular and hippy. So, I’ll never be able to wear the boyfriend pant–and I’m bothered by that, cuz dammit. The commerical is fun and I wanna wear those pants better!

The next commerical that came on was for Revlon’s new Sugar Sugar Lip Topping.

Seriously, women wear this on purpose? Do you want your lips to look like they are coated with shalack and glitter? Would a man want to kiss you with that shit on your lips?

Or is it just me?

*side note…
I can’t let this go. My apologies to my husband whom I know didn’t understand how offensive the word dumpy would be to me, but honestly, saying that overweight and dumpy are synonymous is very bad. Especially in regards to your wife. If you wouldn’t call Queen Latifiah dumpy, you sure as shittin’ better not use that word to describe the woman you live with. I’m just saying….Again, I apologize to the Fishdog, but dude, you shoulda known better.