Tag Archives: 2008

birthday week, day four!

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Today, I’m going to discuss some of my favorite things. Cartoons.

But not just any old cartoons. Nay.

Special cartoons that should’ve never been cancelled. Ever. And I’m not talking about Roadrunner or Popeye or Tom and Jerry or any of that crap. I’m talking about innovative, funny, and smart cartoons that walk the line between kid and adult. Innuendo is our friend.

1. Aaagh! Real Monsters
If you didn’t see this cartoon, you truly missed out on a treat. This show was only on the air for 4 years, but they were 4 brilliant years. The cartoon followed three fledgling monsters in training, Oblina, Krumm, and Ickis. They attended a school below the city dump and when they had a scare assignment, they would go to the surface (oftentimes traveling through the sewer). The Headmaster’s name was The Gromble and I believe he may have been the first (the only?) cross-dressing cartoon character on Nickelodeon. (Tranny! Hot Mess.)

2. Rocko’s Modern Life
How could you not love a cartoon that followed the life of a wallaby who’s best friend was a cow raised by wolves? Guess what the cow’s name was? Heifer Wolfe. Oh yeah. Awesome.

3. Ren and Stimpy
Fishdog and I dated to Ren and Stimpy, so of course I have a soft spot in my heart for this show. I still quote the show as well. “Stimpy, you eeeeeediot.” “Happy, happy, Joy, Joy!” and of course, one of my favorite ditties (sang to the “Slinky” commercial tune


What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs

Rolls over your neighbor's dog?

What's great for a snack and fits on your back?

It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.

It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!

Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!

Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"

4. Pinky and the Brain
How can you not love a cartoon that spawned witticisms such as these?
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain. If they called them sad meals, nobody would buy them.
Brain: Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China.
Pinky: Narf!

Pinky: What are we going to do tonight, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

5. The Angry Beavers
First of all, the title itself is just a winner. Secondly, how fun is it following the lives of two beaver brothers, Norbert and Daggett aka Daggy Waggy? The brothers beave left their parents to live the life of bachelor beavers in the woods. There was a great cast of characters, including a bear, a stump, and a hippy Beaver named Treeflower (she was Norbert’s love interest)

The show was cancelled not long after a parent emailed Nickelodeon to complain that Norbert told Dag to shut up in an episode. Yeah, cuz brothers never do that! If you can find these on DVD, do not pass go until you buy them. Best. Show. Ever.

6. Beavis and Butthead
Really? Did you really think I wouldn’t miss this show? Yes, I’m easily entertained. Whatever. Loved this show.
“I’m Cornholio! Need TP for my bunghole!”

‘Nuf said.

Are there any cartoons you really miss? Did you guys watch any of these or am I the only sadly demented one in the world?

words and phrases that have to go.

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Okay, here is 2008’s Banished Word List. There are some good ones there, some I disagree with, and some that don’t bother me at all. I absolutely agree with the Wordsmith thing. Seriously, if you call yourself a Wordsmith, you come across as a tool. Just letting you know.

But I’m going to add a few words to the list myself.

  1. Baby Bump: Can someone tell me why the media thinks this is a cute term? She’s fucking pregnant. Baby Bump makes it sound like a small zit or something. I hate that term with a passion.
  2. Brokeback anything: I’ve noticed over and over that the media thinks it’s funny to refer to anything remotely homosexual as “Brokeback.” Like last night on ET, Tom Bergeron and Donnie Osmond were going to perform a dance move and Tom said “Brokeback dancing.” No longer funny.
  3. pwn/pwnd/pwnage: (pronounced “poned.” I “pwnd” you Guitar Hero last night) This developed in gaming from people mistyping “own” and typing “pwn” instead. Seriously, it has got to go.
  4. tight: Not as in “My jeans are feeling a little tight.” No. Tight as a compliment. “Those jeans are tight!” Replacing sweet or hot or whatever other colloquialism we old people used.
  5. Moist: Okay, this one is just because it grosses me out. Ugh. I really don’t like the word at all.

Any words or phrases you would like to see banished?

dancing the blues away

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Tonight’s Play List

Love Me or Leave Me by Rooney
Ruby by Kaiser Chiefs
Muddy Ground by The Charlatans UK
Frying Pan Eyes by Golden Smog
Think Twice by Eve 6
Deep by Nickelback
Deny by Default
Gotta Get Away by The Offspring

Yeah, I’m mixing it up tonight…trying to get out of a funk. I hate it when I’m feeling pouty and negative. One of my biggest goals this year was to cut as much negativity out of my life and focus on only the good. Focus on people and thoughts that uplift my spirit.

Sometimes it’s damn hard to be a cheerleader. And I don’t mean a rah-rah girl in the sense that I’m chipper all the time. I just mean it’s hard not to dwell on those ugly feelings when down. And something happened today that really brought me down. But I’m better now. Promise.

So, I cranked up the tunes and started dancing around the house. I totally looked like a fool, but by the 3rd song, I was feeling 100% better.

Then I cracked open the bottle of Cakebread Sauvignon Blanc that I had planned to have for Valentine’s Night with Fishdog, but he won’t be home now until Friday night, so I decided it would go to much better use tonight. Sorry Fishdog. You missed out. Maybe we’ll have another bottle after my next sale to celebrate. (or would that be salebrate?) For V-day, my mom and I are taking the boys to Cheeburger, Cheeburger–their fave burger place. I am going to fast all day so I can eat my yummy guacamole burger with chipotle sauce and Tobasco. Oh my. My mouth just watered.

Sadly, I no longer get the appeal of Valentine’s day. I guess I’ve become a cynic in my old age. Who knew? I write romantic stories but poo-poo V-day. I’m a walking enigma.

You know what my problem with V-day is? The lack of planning. Men and women alike feel compelled to get their loved one something and so they just run out and grab whatever they think will work. Last minute flowers from Kroger, the last Whitman’s sampler from Walgreens, the Air Supply music card…(oh wait, I totally wanted that card). If you’re gonna do V-day, do it right. Surprise him or her and plan for it. (what a concept) Don’t do like the rest of the idiots I saw shopping at Walgreens tonight. I would rather get a single tulip on a random Tuesday than last minute flowers from the grocery store on Valentine’s Day. And I would love, just once, to be surprised.

And you can surprise me on any day…not just V-day.

So, there’s your unsolicited Valentine’s Day advice from a woman who used to love all holidays. Now if you’ll excuse me, Buckcherry’s Crazy Bitch is playing now, and I must dance.

happy birthday, RADER!

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My baby boy turns 10 today. Weird.
He’s such a goof. The child doesn’t take a ‘regular’ picture. You know the kind with smile? No. He only takes funny face pics. But if we’re sneaky enough, sometimes we can catch him off guard and get a good shot.
He was a big baby. 8 lbs 6 oz…and 3 weeks EARLY. And he hasn’t stopped being a big boy since. He weighed 18 lbs at 3 months. My oldest son weighed that at 1 year! He’s almost always the tallest kid in his class and he’s almost always the smartest. For those of you who haven’t read my Rader stories, feel free to browse. They’re entertaining. My particular favorites are:

  1. Sex Education
  2. My Duck
  3. Inappropriate Conversations
  4. And of course, Licking Nipples

My child is special…there is no doubt about that.

Happy Birthday, Rader!

my baby’s all growed up

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Okay, maybe not all growed up, but close.

We had open house today at Catholic High. My baby is going to be a freshman in high school next year. I’m a little sad.

The dress code is slacks, button down collared shirt, and tie. So we made him wear the “uniform” to the open house today. His first tie. Awwwww.

He seemed to really like the school, despite his reluctance to communicate with words. I know that teens go through this period where the revert back to grunting Cro-Magnons, but I’m ready for us to move past the grunt and back to the land of words.

Maybe soon, we’ll see a real transformation. But right now, I’ll just have to be satisfied that we’re making forward progress. Here is a picture of where we are now:Mouth-breathing Cro-Magnon
Begin Transformation
Transformation stage 2
stage 3
End result. Gee, happy much???

hello my pretties…

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So, yesterday’s to do list?

Almost completely mastered. The only thing I didn’t finish was laundry, and since that’s really Fishdog’s job, any laundry I actually do is a bonus. Fishdog needs to snap to it.

I really don’t have anything interesting to blog about today. Rader hasn’t said anything super out there, Ian’s actually doing his homework right now and I haven’t been called to any school conferences in almost 2 weeks, Ruby is still cute, Pete loves having Ruby around, Ginger is still pissed off about Ruby and Hector could give 2 shits about anyone but Hector. He is Supreme Ruler, after all.

Okay, here’s something:

Am I the only person in the world who hadn’t heard of this super berry named the Acai berry? Apparently it’s all the supplemental rage right now. Even Vitaminwater‘s XXX drink has Acai in it.

I’m also the only person who hadn’t heard of the drink MonaVie which is apparently a vile tasting super antioxidant vitamin drink. Anyone out there tried it? Do you really feel differently? And can someone tell me why I’m the last person on earth to hear about this super product?

hobbies?

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Last night I was filling in the “Author Questionnaire” for HarperCollins. They want details about me they can use for promotion. Okay, this is cool. I’m an author! It’s official! Whooot!

The form is like an extended resume. Where have you worked? Are you a full time writer, if not, what’s your day job, blah blah blah.

Then I get to the question about stuff I do in my spare time. Anything I’m enthusiastic about. Interests, hobbies…

And it hits me.

When did I become so boring? Holy shit!

I. Am. Boring!

I blame the kids. They did this to me
I’m totally gonna get myself a hobby. No knitting, cuz well, I just don’t get that. And I tried it once and I promise you, I gave failure a new definition. I love to make jewelry, but I haven’t done that in a while, so can I still call it a hobby? I used to take pictures (real ones) and lots of them, but I’ve forgotten everything I ever learned about photography that didn’t include auto-focus.

Until I find my real hobby, this is what I told them:

Is laying in the sun on a pontoon boat in the middle of a lake a hobby? I enthusiastically support it becoming a hobby if it isn’t considered one already. It is my favorite summer past time.

I was an athlete in high school, played basketball and softball and was forced to run track in the off-season. Running is from the devil and should be banned.

Now I mostly play the role of soccer mom when I’m not at home writing. Both of my boys play and my husband plays and coaches. I yell from the sidelines. A lot. Yes, I’m one of those—don’t judge me.

So this is the year I get a hobby and you guys are gonna help me find it. Got it? Now, talk amongst yourselves.