I’m really not MIA…I’m just half in the bag trying to wrap presents.

I’ll try to post again before Wednesday–but no promises.

Hope you all have a great holiday!

I’m not exactly sure what intellectual fat is, but apparently my youngest son has it. He said it’s the stuff right under his eyes.

Intellectual fat sounds pretty special. I decided right then and there if I was gonna be fat, I should most definitely be intellectually fat.

What purpose does intellectual fat serve?

Let’s explore.

First off, if intellectual fat is only located beneath your eyes, then I think its purpose is obvious. Skinny people don’t have intellectual fat. That’s what they get for being skinny. So when they age, they get wrinkled. Those of us intellectually fat folks will not wrinkle and therefore we will look better than the skinnies. Intellectually fat folks age like fine wine.

Now, if intellectual fat can be located in other spots, then we must investigate.

Consider the possibility that intellectual fat could be located around the brain. Does that serve as a natural helment for those who refuse to wear one? Or does it feed the brain to make intellectually superior people? I’m gonna go with #2 because frankly, people who refuse to wear a helmet can’t possibly have any intellectual fat anywhere in their system.

If intellectual fat is around the ass, then is that really very intellectual? What purpose does the intellectually fat ass serve? I suspect that’s where mine has landed–maybe if I sit on it a while, the reason will come to me.

I admit it…Survivor is a guilty pleasure. (so is daytime television, but that’s another post)

So, last night, I curled up on my sofa with a big-ass bowl of popcorn and a nice glass of Merlot (betcha didn’t know popcorn and Merlot went well together, huh?) and watched the season finale.

I can honestly say, I was floored when Yul won. Not because I didn’t like Yul–I did. But honestly, I think Ozzy outplayed him. The whole purpose is to be the “Sole Survivor” and Yul wouldn’t have gotten to the end without Becky. She worked it behind the scenes and he worked it in camp…but she played an equal part in Yul’s planning. They were a team. And she didn’t get one vote.

In my mind, Ozzy was the clear winner. He saved himself from being voted off in the beginning. He worked his ass off providing food for the tribes and he won EVERY challenge. He was the one who HAD to win to make it to the end…because he was the biggest threat.

And yet, he lost the mil by 1 vote.

I really don’t get it. I truly liked Yul and in the beginning I was rooting for him. But by the end of the season there was no doubt in my mind who should win.

I admit it…Survivor is a guilty pleasure. (so is daytime television, but that’s another post)

So, last night, I curled up on my sofa with a big-ass bowl of popcorn and a nice glass of Merlot (betcha didn’t know popcorn and Merlot went well together, huh?) and watched the season finale.

I can honestly say, I was floored when Yul won. Not because I didn’t like Yul–I did. But honestly, I think Ozzy outplayed him. The whole purpose is to be the “Sole Survivor” and Yul wouldn’t have gotten to the end without Becky. She worked it behind the scenes and he worked it in camp…but she played an equal part in Yul’s planning. They were a team. And she didn’t get one vote.

In my mind, Ozzy was the clear winner. He saved himself from being voted off in the beginning. He worked his ass off providing food for the tribes and he won EVERY challenge. He was the one who HAD to win to make it to the end…because he was the biggest threat.

And yet, he lost the mil by 1 vote.

I really don’t get it. I truly liked Yul and in the beginning I was rooting for him. But by the end of the season there was no doubt in my mind who should win.

Okay, not really. I’m never speechless.

I heart this story.*

I’d like to introduce y’all to the mother of the year…

SCOTTSDALE – A mother faces child endangerment charges after a valet called police to report she left her 2-year-old son alone in her BMW while she shopped at Scottsdale Fashion Square.

Gardenia Zakrzewski-Johansson was arrested in the mall parking lot outside Neiman Marcus after valets watched her walk into the store with a small dog under her arm, directing them to watch her car with the child inside.

Hmmm. Where do I begin?

First off, I never realized valet parking also doubled as a babysitter. That’s a bargain. I wish I would’ve known that when my spawn were younger. Now they can stay by themselves without it being considered child abuse (for the most part) but damn, I completely missed out on some major shopping opportunities when they were just wee beasties.

And can we discuss the fact that she left the kid in the car and took the dog into the store? How awesome is that?

Who does this shit?

All I have to say is, thank the gods that woman isn’t from the south. We’re already misunderstood enough as it is…we don’t need help from dipshits like her.

*Many thanks to my friend Lu for providing the link. You rock my world, chica!

Okay, not really. I’m never speechless.

I heart this story.*

I’d like to introduce y’all to the mother of the year…

SCOTTSDALE – A mother faces child endangerment charges after a valet called police to report she left her 2-year-old son alone in her BMW while she shopped at Scottsdale Fashion Square.

Gardenia Zakrzewski-Johansson was arrested in the mall parking lot outside Neiman Marcus after valets watched her walk into the store with a small dog under her arm, directing them to watch her car with the child inside.

Hmmm. Where do I begin?

First off, I never realized valet parking also doubled as a babysitter. That’s a bargain. I wish I would’ve known that when my spawn were younger. Now they can stay by themselves without it being considered child abuse (for the most part) but damn, I completely missed out on some major shopping opportunities when they were just wee beasties.

And can we discuss the fact that she left the kid in the car and took the dog into the store? How awesome is that?

Who does this shit?

All I have to say is, thank the gods that woman isn’t from the south. We’re already misunderstood enough as it is…we don’t need help from dipshits like her.

*Many thanks to my friend Lu for providing the link. You rock my world, chica!

Well, I went to the citizens’ meeting last night. I really had high hopes (I know, silly me) of hearing from the County Supervisors as to their reasoning for their choice…or lack thereof.

Surprise, surprise.

Not one supervisor spoke. Nope. Only two of the five were there, standing in the very back hoping to be incognito…and they were until one of the constituents called him out. That was a pretty funny moment, actually.

One of the non-elected county officals spoke and tried to help us understand their reasoning. He said he believes they asked for more time because the voters voted down the first attempt a year ago.

Um. NOT the same thing. The first attempt was a 9.5 million dollar complex with a 4 mil increase for 20 years. Now, I voted for it, but many didn’t because county property taxes had just gone up. And frankly, if they had known it was THIS OR NOTHING I guarantee you, the outcome woulda been different.

The new initiative is taking 150K from the current budget and it is NOT raising anyone’s taxes.

NO. BRAINER.

APPLES and ORANGES.

And that’s when I spoke up. I told him they were two different things and that people felt like the supervisors went into the meeting with their minds already made up and they were using the former inititave as an excuse.

Seems like everyone agreed. Lots of “Yeahs” and “That’s right”. Maybe even an “amen” or two. Almost like church.

Speaking of church…I was beginning to be proud of the room for sticking to the issues and not bringing God into it, when someone finally broke the ice. Now, I’m not against prayer and church and God, etc…but come on folks, this is a city/county meeting over a Sportscomplex. I really think God has more important things on her plate right now than worrying about Lafayette county ball fields. But we did get a few “Y’all is in my prayers.” and “I try to be Godly in my decisions, the supervisors should try that, too.” But that was toward the end of the meeting. Small towns, gotta love them.

My favorite quote of the night was: “The people who ain’t for this are gonna be the first people to complain when the kids are doing drug cuz they ain’t got nothin’ better to do.”

and

“When you’re pointin’ fingras (fingers) you might wanna take a second to look at the three fingras pointin’ right back at you.”

I knew nothing would be solved last night, but I really wanted the Supervisors to hear from their constituents. And the two who showed up, did. As they hid in the back and didn’t step forward to explain themselves, I have to wonder, did they LISTEN and LEARN?