It happens here quite often. People google Melissa Francis and they expect to find CNBC’s host of The Call and former child star of Little House on the Prairie, Melissa “Missy” Francis.

She is not me. I am not her. We are not the same.

Yesterday, during my day-o-twittering, I got an @reply from @Shoq who thought I was the other Melissa Francis.

Original tweet

@contessabrewer Perhaps @MelissaFrancis could share more of her insipid sidebar remarks about taxes, teaparties, other right wing memes?

This tickled me on so many levels. I replied immediately:

original tweet

@Shoq @contessaBrewer I’m not that Melissa Francis. I’m also not insipid.

and before he read my reply, he re-tweeted (I prefer tweeted to twittered. sorry) @liberalchik and included me in the message:

original tweet

RT @liberalchik: RT @Shoq: Melissa something//shes irritating..kinda Fauxish //KINDA FOXISH? This bimbo @melissaFrancis is ALL FOXish.

To which I reply:

original tweet

@liberalchik I am a fox, but I am not *that* Melissa Francis.

Then I get:
original tweet

Sorry to @MelissaFRANCIS. Wrong one. I thought you were the MSNBC bimbo. Apologies

and I reply
original tweet

@Shoq nope. I’m the author. One day ppl will think she’s me. LOL

original tweet

RT @MelissaFrancis: I’m the author. One day ppl will think she’s me. LOL //Well, if you’re not insipid or a RW tool, WELCOME 🙂

original tweet

@Shoq def not insipid or a RW tool. I’m not a douche either. Actually, I’m kinda awesome.

@liberalchik then apologizes

RT @MelissaFrancis: @liberalchik I am a fox, but I am not *that* Melissa Francis.//sorry bout that.

and I end the conversation with:

@liberalchik no worries. it was bound to happen sooner or later! LOL

So to wrap this up. I am not @MelissaCNBC I am @MelissaFrancis the awesome, undouche-like, unt00l-like, un-RightWinged author*. My first book (BITE ME!) comes out in approximately 7 weeks, and you can pre-order it now. You can check out my book website at HAVEYOUBEENBITTEN.COM

*repeating the tweet. I have no knowledge of @MelissaCNBC‘s real personality. She may be the nicest person on the planet. I know that people think she has great legs because I see “melissa francis cnbc legs” in my stats all the time.

And Melissa, if you’re reading this, nice to meet you. I can’t wait for the day when someone comes up to you and asks, “Are you the author of that awesome book BITE ME!?”