favorite 5 word sentence

<– this is my mother's favorite wine. It's actually the only wine she'll drink. It's tasty and inexpensive. And sometimes on my way home, I stop off a buy her a bottle. (or 2)

I tend to go to the same stores where they all know me by name (Norm! MELF!) or by tattoo, or by hair. (or maybe by my Bend and Snap…) Anyway, last night I stopped off at a store I don’t go to very often and a new boy waited on me.

“May I see your ID?” he asked as I placed the wine on the counter.

I blushed and batted my eyes appropriately snorted.

“Sure.” I handed it over. (I’m blonde in my ID so that sometimes throws them off for a second.)

“69?” he asked. “For real?”

“For real. I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to be your mother.”

“Damn. Yeah, but I’m pretty sure I’d date you anyway.”


I’m 41. I’ll be 42 in March. There are people I graduated high school with who are already grandparents. There are people who are younger than me who already LOOK like grandparents. So the fact that I’m still getting carded is teh awesome.

Here’s hoping I never look like a MawMaw even when I am one…


more drugs? better drugs?

So I really have nothing fun to say today other than the walker thing is getting closer to reality.

I’m seriously too damn young to be walking around like a MawMaw. Oh well, at least I still have my looks. Hahahahahaha

In other news, I’ll be in Oxford this weekend. Not sure if I’ll be walking around or cruising in a Hoveround, but I’ll be there. If I buzz by you at the speed of light, I’m sorry. It’ll be a new toy and I’ll just wanna go FASTER! Call me Ricky Bobby not MawMaw!

baby got back (pain)

A few years ago I was rearended by a Ford Excursion. I went to the chiropractor a couple days later because of neck pain. Not only did I discover I had whiplash (for realz!) I also found out I had arthritis in my lower back.

I’ve had arthritis in my elbows since 2002 as a result of untreated Lyme’s Disease and the doctor thinks the lower back arthritis is probably from the LD as well. I’ve always had some sorta lower back pain but each year, especially when the seasons changed, my back pain would get worse.

Fast forward to this week.


Boy does my back hurt. Like badly. Like, I seriously need a cane to help me get out of bed, especially in the middle of the night.

I feel like an old damn woman this week. I can barely walk, it hurts to bend over, squat, put on my pants! I’ve been eating anti-inflammatories like candy and they aren’t even touching the pain. These are the days I miss Vioxx.

The pain will probably last through the end of the week and slowly start to get better…or maybe I’ll just get used to it? But I can tell you that sitting all day long doesn’t help it. However, I brought my heating pad today, and I can already feel a slight improvement.

If you guys see me using a walker with tennis balls on the legs, you better not be judging me. Because I will gladly suffer the pain to whip your ass with a walker. And I’ll take pics of you getting beaten by an old lady with a walker and I’ll post them on my blog for the world to see. Just sayin’…