Ruby Doobie-Doo Update and holiday stuff

Check out the pitiful baby. Doesn’t that face just make you wanna cry?

Nothing is broken. However, Ruby sustained some neurological damage that should only be temporary, however it could take a couple of months to heal. That’s why her tail hangs limp and she’s walking like she took some Vicodin and chased it with Vodka for breakfast. She finally took her medicine from El Jefe this morning…she turned her nose up at the cheese offering from me… Which tells me she’s very pissed off at me. Like I was the one who put her on the side of the road and then drove the car that clipped her.

Anyway, it looks like she’s gonna be all right. If she starts to show signs of decline, they’ll introduce some steroids into her system to help speed up the healing. There is a very slim chance she may not improve or will get worse…but right now, it does not appear I can start calling her Wheels. (I may or may not have been practicing getting her used to her possible new nickname)

In Holiday news, I look like the ghost of snowflakes threw up on me today. I can not even look at myself today, this holiday swag is so ugly. It’s horrifying.

Tomorrow’s outfit is gonna be amazing. Let me just tell you…AMAZING. (amazingly horrid…)

Also….if you see my brother, please tell him the lights on this tree need to be taken down immediately. Otherwise, I’m gonna stick a drunken Santa with a box of White Zin under the tree…to finish off the look…

An Official Declaration

Happy Ugly Christmas Sweater Week!

There. I’ve said it. Now, make it so.

See? Even Matt Damon is playing along.

Today I’m wearing a vest. It’s not the ugliest of sweaters in the world..but it’s still a Christmas VEST…and so the only way to look cool while wearing it is to wear it ironically. So I am. And therefore, this Ugly Vest is cool…like me.

Hope you guys had a great weekend. I did. I worked a lot, got to see my sweet friend Marcus who was in town from Paris (Yes, France). I didn’t get to attend his gathering when he first arrived, so I was thrilled when I was able to leave work early enough to see him last night before he headed back. He’s so sassy and awesome. I lurve him.

Now…you guys celebrate Ugly Sweater week with me. I wanna hear about or see your ugly sweaters. Hmmmm. What will I wear tomorrow?

I think I failed at Christmas irony

I’m wearing jingle bells in my ears.

A giant off-white sweater with gold snowflakes, a gingerbread house, snowman and trees.

And red and green Christmas socks.

I thought I was being ironic because I have my girls Christmas gathering tonight and wanted to be funny for Festivus. Apparently some of the people I work with think I’m being serious.

I have failed Christmas Irony 101.

Actually, no, they have failed because they wear this stuff on purpose for serious. That means I’m an epic winner. Right?

That’s my Christmas story and I’m sticking to it. Also has anyone seen my leg lamp? I swear I put it in the front window…