Here are my newest children. Aren’t they the cutest things?

This is Grant. He’s from Prestwick, Scotland–which is about 30 mins from Glasgow. He fancies women with an athletic build and can eat a large pizza on his own.

This is Simon. He’s from Birmingham, England–which has a population of about 9 million. He fancies women in general and loves Strawberry Jam sandwiches and Mars bars.

They both love Mountain Dew.

I have been to the grocery store everyday since Saturday. I refuse to go today. Surely they haven’t depleted our food stores again…

I’m not complaining–just laughing. These guys are great. They have become my oldest kids. I thought I was going to be the dirty old woman, ala Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives, but it turns out having these guys stay with us just brought out a stronger mother gene. Kinda disappointing, really. LOL

They call me “Mum” and Grant will occasionally call me Lassie. I love it. It’s awesome.

Last night, we took them to fishdog’s softball game. They hit on all the women. ” ‘ello, I’m Soimon. Wha’s yor name?” “Ah, ye’re a bonny lassie.”

Everytime a ball was pitched they’d yell “Hit it!” and when it was hit they’d yell “Catch it.” “Ah you couldn’t catch a cold!” I heard more than once. And the poor catcher for the other team…”Lassie, you might want te have the mitt looked at. I think it has a hole in it?” “Bobble it again?”

My co-worker Audrey played third base last night. The boys really took to her. “I love you, Audrey!” “Give us a wave, Audrey”

They started the Mexican Wave….it was a wave of two…but they made it look brilliant. Finally, 2 more folks joined in….A wave of four. I’ve never seen anything so grand.

I can’t believe how much I’m going to miss them when they leave. On the other hand, my pocketbook will be relieved.

So, most of you know I’ve been on the great weight-loss and fitness adventure since January. It’s become a part of my life, and though I miss eating vats of cheesedip and drinking massive amounts of high calorie beer, I do feel better.

I took the last four weeks off from exercise (except for gardening) and even though I didn’t eat that much, I didn’t stop myself from eating something if I wanted it…

I managed to still lose weight, so I guess that’s good.

I started walking again Sunday and will make it back to the gym this week as well. I think I sleep better when I exercise, so that’s incentive enough right there.

Anyway, I tell you all this as lead up to what this blog is really about: I can wear my 2nd wedding band again.

I have 2 sapphire and diamond bands that hug my engagement ring. 1 was my wedding band and the other was an anniversary gift. Well, the 2nd one is a half size smaller than the original wedding band–the orginal was actually a little too big. (yeah, back then. LOL) Unfortunately, after I had the #2 child, I continued to gain weight and I had to stop wearing the 2nd band.

I haven’t worn it in 5 years.

So, it felt great putting it on this morning. I don’t know if wearing a size smaller jeans would’ve felt as good as slipping that ring on my finger did…

Okay, yeah, smaller jeans would feel pretty damn good. Watch out Nicole Richie…before you know it, I’ll be another member of the bobble-head family. *snort*

Well, a question for the 5 (okay, 6) people who regularly read my blog…

any lurkers out there, chime in–I’m curious about this.

I found out today I’ve been “grammatically incorrect” my whole life. Apparently a phrase I’ve grown up saying (no, I’m not talking about “fixin’ to” which I rarely ever say anymore) is a colloquialism and that it is incorrect.

Funny thing is, I’ve never, ever, in my entire 37 years heard the “correct phrase” until today.

So, I’m curious. Which way do you say it?

I broke the vase on accident.

I broke the vase by accident.

I’m seriously curious about this. So chime in…please.

Is it just me, or does Nicole Richie look like a bobble-head here?

Listen, I get the weight loss thing. I do. I chase after that dream every day. But come on. This girl needs to eat a sandwich. With mayo. And bacon. Battered and fried. Then top it off with a couple of funnel cakes and maybe a double-whopper.

Her neck is going to break under all the stress of carrying such a big ass head.

If the camera adds 20 pounds, how does she not fall down a grate, or blow away?

Is it just me, or does Nicole Richie look like a bobble-head here?

Listen, I get the weight loss thing. I do. I chase after that dream every day. But come on. This girl needs to eat a sandwich. With mayo. And bacon. Battered and fried. Then top it off with a couple of funnel cakes and maybe a double-whopper.

Her neck is going to break under all the stress of carrying such a big ass head.

If the camera adds 20 pounds, how does she not fall down a grate, or blow away?

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Isn’t that the truth?

I’m all for “never give up, never surrender” but I know my limits. With the way I’ve felt the past few days, skydiving, bungy jumping, free-base jumping, etc. are off the market as far as I’m concerned. As a matter of fact, if I were you, I’d just stay away from me for a while. I might be contagious.

I hope I didn’t leave my cooties on this blog.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Hmmm. Unless you have a hole in your pocket…which I discovered I did when I stuck a $10 bill in it the other day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Which is why I’m being very, very quiet this week. God, I hope nobody can read minds…

Duct tape is like ‘The Force.’ It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Wonder if taping it to me will hold me together?

Seriously, I feel like I’m in a whole ‘nother world. Or, if this was Mad TV, that would be ‘hole ‘nubba world… the HNW. This entire week, I’ve been in a fog–or as I said last night: Scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked. Today you could add diced and peppered to that list.

Maybe it’s this sinus infection I’m fighting. Maybe it’s the scene I’ve been writing and I’m not happy with. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Who knows? All I know is that I need to get it together, QUICK!

On the fun side of this terribly pitiful blog, we’ll have a guest in our house next week. One of the coaches from the British Soccer Camp will be residing in our home…So, I’ll have access to a hot young soccer player with a fantastic accent. Can you say, YUM? Soccer players have the best bods. Wonder if he can bend it like Beckham?

Watch out Fishdog…you may have some competition around the house….

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Isn’t that the truth?

I’m all for “never give up, never surrender” but I know my limits. With the way I’ve felt the past few days, skydiving, bungy jumping, free-base jumping, etc. are off the market as far as I’m concerned. As a matter of fact, if I were you, I’d just stay away from me for a while. I might be contagious.

I hope I didn’t leave my cooties on this blog.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Hmmm. Unless you have a hole in your pocket…which I discovered I did when I stuck a $10 bill in it the other day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Which is why I’m being very, very quiet this week. God, I hope nobody can read minds…

Duct tape is like ‘The Force.’ It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Wonder if taping it to me will hold me together?

Seriously, I feel like I’m in a whole ‘nother world. Or, if this was Mad TV, that would be ‘hole ‘nubba world… the HNW. This entire week, I’ve been in a fog–or as I said last night: Scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked. Today you could add diced and peppered to that list.

Maybe it’s this sinus infection I’m fighting. Maybe it’s the scene I’ve been writing and I’m not happy with. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Who knows? All I know is that I need to get it together, QUICK!

On the fun side of this terribly pitiful blog, we’ll have a guest in our house next week. One of the coaches from the British Soccer Camp will be residing in our home…So, I’ll have access to a hot young soccer player with a fantastic accent. Can you say, YUM? Soccer players have the best bods. Wonder if he can bend it like Beckham?

Watch out Fishdog…you may have some competition around the house….

No, I haven’t been chowing down at The Awful Waffle…(though, now that I mention it, that does sound pretty good).

Egads. I can’t concentrate on anything lately. Nada.

And it sux.

So, tonight I vegged out. Played some Unreal Tournament. Hung out with Erica Kane and All My Children. Basically, I enjoyed a night of nothingness. Maybe my brain activity will return from its catatonic state soon. I hope so. I hate digging the depths of nothingness for a word, a phrase, shit–a vowel.

On another note…

Fishdog and I took my oldest to lunch today and I couldn’t stop staring at him. He’s grown 2 inches in just a few weeks and he’s starting to lose that baby look. He’s leaner, and his walk is changing to a gait. Today his eyes were a beautiful shade of gray. Almost pewter. But, they’ll change tomorrow to a blue or a green, depending on what shirt he’s wearing.

He looks just like me–which is most unfortnuate for him. Actually, I think he wears my face much better than I do. The bridge of his nose is dusted with the freckles I wanted when I was his age. Of course, I’m freckling now…on my shoulders. LOL Not nearly as charming.

Anyway, he’s growing up and it pains me as much as it thrills me. Sure the boy drives me mad. Absolutely, nut-crushing-mad…but he’s my first born (even if he’s a bit of a moron, sometimes) and he’s growing up right before my eyes. And it’s amazing.

No, I haven’t been chowing down at The Awful Waffle…(though, now that I mention it, that does sound pretty good).

Egads. I can’t concentrate on anything lately. Nada.

And it sux.

So, tonight I vegged out. Played some Unreal Tournament. Hung out with Erica Kane and All My Children. Basically, I enjoyed a night of nothingness. Maybe my brain activity will return from its catatonic state soon. I hope so. I hate digging the depths of nothingness for a word, a phrase, shit–a vowel.

On another note…

Fishdog and I took my oldest to lunch today and I couldn’t stop staring at him. He’s grown 2 inches in just a few weeks and he’s starting to lose that baby look. He’s leaner, and his walk is changing to a gait. Today his eyes were a beautiful shade of gray. Almost pewter. But, they’ll change tomorrow to a blue or a green, depending on what shirt he’s wearing.

He looks just like me–which is most unfortnuate for him. Actually, I think he wears my face much better than I do. The bridge of his nose is dusted with the freckles I wanted when I was his age. Of course, I’m freckling now…on my shoulders. LOL Not nearly as charming.

Anyway, he’s growing up and it pains me as much as it thrills me. Sure the boy drives me mad. Absolutely, nut-crushing-mad…but he’s my first born (even if he’s a bit of a moron, sometimes) and he’s growing up right before my eyes. And it’s amazing.