Remember a long time ago, way back last weekend when we backed it up like a Tonka Truck with a load of gravel? Me, the boys & El Jefe worked our asses off. We raked, shoveled, tamped, & spread for damn near the entire weekend.
So imagine my utter horror and dismay last night when my mother calls to tell me that some drunk asshole took the curve at warp speed, missed it entirely, AND TOOK OUT MY BRAND NEW
FUCKING EFFING DRIVEWAY.
BTW, the asshole had LUMPY on his tailgate. Yeah. LUMPY. I’m thinking he had a few lumps after he hit my culvert and left pieces of his truck in my yard. He also told the police he’d just been at the tattoo parlor. I’m guess he’d gotten quite loaded before he got his brand new LUMPY tattoo over his heart.