Tag Archives: assholes

#fatshamed at the gas station

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I won’t lie. I was fat-shamed a great deal growing up. Even when I wasn’t fat. (Apparently in the 80s having hips and tits made one “fat”). It’s hard to overcome, thankfully as an old lady, I’m learning to love myself as is.

Today, I was fat-shamed “COMPLIMENTED” at the gas station.

Me: Minding my own business, pumping my own gas
Obnoxious Asshole (OA): You’re brave for wearing that*.

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* “that”

Me: (looks down at “that”) Really? Why?
OA:  I mean, for a woman of your size?
Me:  I don’t understand, can you explain?
OA:  It’s a compliment! I said you look good!
Me:  Did you? Because that’s not what I heard.
OA:  You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.
Me: Don’t I?

Here’s the thing, I need to lose weight. I know I do. But I’m working on loving me for me. Who I am on the inside and accepting who I am on the outside AS I AM now.

So when you call me brave for DARING to show my soft belly, I will shame you by feigning ignorance and force you to explain yourself. And if you can’t explain yourself without getting defensive or “mansplaining” you meant it as a compliment when it clearly wasn’t, then you should consider yourself brave for having opened your trash mouth in my vicinity.

I’m not brave. I’m fierce. And you’re a fucking waste of oxygen.

Sparkle on, bitches.

I’m pissed. I’m fired up. And I’m on a mission.

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We don’t have a government. We have a bunch of pissed off toddlers throwing a goddamned tantrum for not getting their way in the grocery store.

I’m angry. I am so disgusted and disappointed in and ashamed of our elected officials that I can’t even describe it. And the most infuriating part of it all? Sure they’ll shut down the government to try to bully people into doing what they want, but are THEY going without pay? Fuck no. Of course not. Continue reading →

Things you may have missed this week if you’ve been living under a rock. #NSA

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Soooo, I’ve had a bee-in-my-bonnet this week and I unleashed the Rant Kraken on my blog.

I figure since I’m on a roll with my opinions which I am stating on my blog which nobody is telling you to read, that maybe I should continue on…

Let’s talk about the NSA… (Hi, NSA. I know this is going to put me on your watch list. You’ll find my texts rather boring, I’m afraid. I usually only talk about wine and weekend plans which usually include more wine. Sometimes we make fun of people (which I’m not proud of, but honestly, some people are just asking for it.)

I cannot believe people are NOT up in arms about what our government is doing to us right now. That fucking Patriot Act opened the door to this, but the Obama administration is allowing it to happen, and that’s not okay. (and dude. I voted for you.  I like you. BUT THIS? Not. Ok.)

Wait, you ask, what’s happening with the NSA that’s so bad to make you mad at your dude, Obama?

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I answer.can-you-hear-me-NSA

So, the abridged story is…the NSA has been illegally gathering all of our cell phone data. Our text messages, calls, metadata…ALL OF IT. And they’re looking for key words and patterns and they’re using the Patriot Act to back them up. Yes. They have your information. All of it………

That nasty text message you sent to your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, stranger? They have it.

That “sexy” picture you took? They have that as well. (BTW, please understand that fat, clammy white guys posing like Burt Reynolds in front of a computer, are not sexy. Not even “sexy”)

Those not so subtle texts about your next weed purchase? Yup. Even that.

Any off color jokes? (yes, the racist ones…) Any of your threats to the President? (even the “jokey” ones) Your private messages to your lover? Your full of crazy rants about your spouse’s ex? Yep, those, too.

Those stalking texts? Those “jokes” about blowing up government buildings? Yeah…they’re not being considered “jokes” dude.

Let me break it down for you. When I worked for ALLTEL in the fraud department, I worked alongside law enforcement to track cloning and subscription fraud rings. I could detect patterns, and flag accounts, but if the cops called asking for information about a specific number or data, THEY HAD TO HAVE A SUBPOENA. Because it’s ILLEGAL to access personal, private records without just cause…You know, so they don’t violate the 4th Amendment of our Constitution.

The Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution reads:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Do you understand what it means to our privacy and our security now that our government has decided that the 4th Amendment is “just a suggestion?” They are treating it like it’s the Yellow Light of the Law. They are using our fears of another attack like 9-11 to justify their illegal seizure of our private information.

And instead of getting pissed off about losing their rights, people are wasting their time moaning and groaning about “the gays” getting equal rights! WTF is wrong with this country!?

AND NOW! our country is trying to apprehend the man who leaked the information to Americans because they consider him a traitor to our country.

trai·tor

/ˈtrātər/
Noun

A person who betrays a friend, country, principle, etc.

Hey, NSA. Y’all are the traitors. Y’all are the ones who are ignoring our constitution and acting like the GEE DEE Gestapo. Snowden is a fucking hero. He saw what y’all were doing was illegal, he called you out on it, and now you’re trying to punish him BECAUSE YOU GOT CAUGHT BETRAYING YOUR OWN PEOPLE.

NSA–and all those involved in allowing this to go on–y’all are assholes.

ASSHOLE is the word of the week.

I’m as left of center as you can get without being a loon. I have supported the Obama administration on so many things…I’m proud they are supporting Equal Rights for all Americans. I am proud of Obamacare and their attempt to make healthcare available to all Americans. I am proud they are trying to help the immigrants already in the country become citizens. BUT, if this administration doesn’t do something to stop the illegal seizure of our information, I’m going to seriously have to reconsider living here.

Honestly. Once you take a right from the people, it’s damn near impossible to get it back.

And I want my right to privacy returned to me. PRONTO.

 

 

 

ketchup.

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As in, let’s “ketchup”!

Ugh. that was horrible. And now I want fries.

First off, happy belated mother’s day to all the moms who don’t suck.

Check out my awesome Mother’s Day gift that my cool boys got for me.

They tried to find me the perfect flamingo they said, but this is perfect. Me gusta mucho.

Update on the spider bite:

Friday I woke with a super swollen and painful arm. Weird. But it’s probably because Walgreens sucks now that they’ve purchased all the USA Drugs and they never seem to be able fill a prescription timely anymore. Apparently they were out of my antibiotic and didn’t bother to tell me prior to texting me that my prescription was ready. So when we get there, they let us know it’ll be ready tomorrow. And it was…around 5:30 pm. Which allowed the toxin/infection another 24 hours to grow. And so, I was pitiful and whiny on Friday while I waited for the meds to kick in.

Saturday I was all better, so I cleaned up my yard.

OH…Why was I cleaning my yard? Because another Hammered McHammerstein decided to drive through a tree in my front yard. She was on Xanax, not booze. That didn’t stop her from getting arrested. Trust me. Here’s some pictures, and if you want real entertainment, watch the video at the end of my blog. Yes. She was followed and filmed. It’s kinda like my own personal episode of COPS.

So I sawed up the giant holly bush she mowed over, and Jefe finally got to the tree in the back yard that broke during the ice this winter. We did LOTS of sawing. And hauling. And I still need to get the left over car debris from the yard before I mow… yippee.

And Mother’s Day started with pancakes and ended with cheese dip with a lot of John Deere time in between. All with my boys… THESE ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!

Now, for your viewing pleasure…Hammered Driving:

in the world of WTF?

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Look. I get it. I’m funny. I joke a lot. I’m sexy and awesome and have lots of fun. People dig me.

So, when you friend me on FB and ask me just how “liberal and open are you?” and then proceed to proposition me to “help you and your wife out in the bedroom.” I need you to understand that is immediate grounds for a big Facebook Block.

Also, when you proposition someone that you haven’t seen since 9th grade? You might wanna be good looking. Or at least, not gross. No wonder you guys need help in the bedroom.

Probably it would help your mission if you didn’t post racist comments on the person’s page that you’re propositioning. Especially AFTER said person asked you to stop. Because THAT SIR, is a huge turn off.

I’d tell you to go get fucked, but obviously, you’re trying. Just without any hope of success.

And one more thing…all the “Incest Likes” on your page? Not helping your cause either. I am obviously not THAT open or liberal.

I need a shower.

In other Facebook world, this blog post made me LOL.

25 Common Facebook Statuses and What They REALLY Mean

Truth in sarcasm. My favorite.

Facebook. It’s making people look dumber and dumber everyday. C’mon people, it’s social media. Use it for fun. Stop being so damn stupid.

Okay, I’m off to the gym where I shall sweat off the grossness of my indecent proposal. Have a happy humpday! (hahahaha! How appropriate)

Hey it’s Monday! Please pass the Advil

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Or something stronger if you’ve got it.

I woke with a migraine this morning. Haven’t had one in a while. I think the bleach I used yesterday afternoon must have triggered it. Either way, I don’t look so swell, and the light is bothering me so I keep squinting, which makes my head hurt more.

The good news is, I’ll get over it.

This weekend was a good one! Friday night was spent glued to the tv telling man-in-the-boat jokes while they arrested the asshole. I also spent quite a bit of time hammering state Rep Nate Bell (@NateBell4AR) for his moronic and insensitive tweet about Boston liberals and then his even more insulting “apology”. I mean, seriously? Between Jason Rapert, Nate Bell and now Mark Pryor…Arkansas looks like a bunch of backward idiots. It’s infuriating to those of us who love our state and want people to treat us with respect. Our State Representatives are not representing us well at all.

 
Seriously? He apologized for the TIMING? What a moron.
Saturday I played queen of the John Deere, then met some friends at US Pizza for a little nosh and beverage. Then we had an impromptu firepit night…and really had a great time. I miss living in town sometimes, but I love nights like Saturday, where we light up the fire and hang out til all hours and enjoy the hell out of a great evening.

 Hope you guys had a lovely weekend and that if you’re experiencing a migraine today, like I am, that you’re able to suck it up and sparkle on. It ain’t easy, but I’m trying!

get ’em, blue!

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I hope everyone in Boston and surrounding areas remain safe and secure while the city is on lockdown. I hope they catch all assholes involved. I’m so proud they found them so quickly. Stay safe, and Kick Ass boys (and girls) in blue!

In fun news, OMG did I laugh my ass off last night. Well, not literally. Sadly. Because I am still carrying my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps around with me today. Every inch. Because TTB was running late and she left me alone with the cheese dip UNSUPERVISED. Thank goodness ALL-CAPS KRISTAL showed up on time for once!

I haven’t laughed that hard in forever. I actually feel like I had an ab work out. Laughter, it’s what’s for dinner. (well, that and Cheese Dip.)

In Alien News, Susie is shrinking. I no longer look like I was dating Chris Brown. Jefe is no longer under suspicion for elbowing me in my sleep. It seems the antibiotic is doing its job…so yippee!  (Sorry Susie, we hardly knew ya)

To honor the officers putting their life on the line for America today, I’m wearing my booTAY pants, a cleavage shirt, some sparkly shoes and my inner sparkle is turned up to 11 today.

Also, Happy Birthday to Dobby! I’ll see you tonight!

please read this.

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My friend has been dealing with a lot. Her 16 year old autistic child has been bullied mercilessly for years…even more so now that he is out of the closet. He wrote this letter and asked his mom to post it.

Please. Go forth and read it. Know that no matter what you believe is morally right…that nothing justifies the torment this child has been put through.

 I am disgusted that in this FREE COUNTRY we are tormenting people who love differently, who process information differently and who believe differently.

We are tormenting people for being different. For standing up for what they believe to be right, even if it goes against the majority. We are bullying people to change who they are or to keep their mouths closed or to fake their way through life in order to protect themselves.

What bothers me the most? Most of these people call themselves Christian. Well, if God is love…then what the hell kind of message are these “Christians” sending when they beat up on on an a gay, autistic kid?  Or whoever else they decide to bully just because they are different.

Disgusting.

And on a similar subject, please read this letter to Ann Coulter, written by a 30 year old man with Down’s Syndrome. Ann is another bully…and for some reason, she has power to stir up followers. Remember folks, your words and actions have power. Can you live with the results? 

I don’t resemble that remark…

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Warning… This post is filled with some adult words of the profane nature. Sprinkled with anger and discontent.

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.”

Screw you, Mitt Romney.I’m not dependent on government, I don’t believe I’m a victim and it is not the government’s responsibility to care for me. However, like you (once upon a time, before you sold your soul and your beliefs to the highest bidder) I do believe that all humans are entitled to healthcare. And yes, I think if the government can help those who need help to get back on their feet, then they should help. And I’m not talking about bailing out corporations (even though I know you feel like they are people too) I mean, helping the actual backbone of this country grow strong again. You know, the little people? The middle class? (and contrary to your beliefs, $250,000 a year is not middle class income.)

Oh and BTW, I pay my taxes, asshole. Would you like to see my tax returns? Have you been audited? Because I have been…to the result of $5000+. I know, that’s probably the Christmas Bonus you give your door man, but hey, to me, $5000 was everything and then some. Show me your tax returns, asshole. Let’s compare percentages of tax to income and see who pays more.

Dick.

If EVER you needed a reason not to vote for this douche, THIS one statement should be it. I want my president to be concerned about ALL AMERICANS, not just those who can afford a $50,000 plate fundraiser.

Fuck. and You.