Honestly? What is wrong with people?

Look. I get it. There’s humor in everything. I can make fun of my State-sized ass. I can tease my skinny friends out of love and envy. I can take a joke… But I’m a grown-ass woman who is comfortable in her skin.

What I can’t take is people being mean. Just mean. Because kids see it and they take that shit to heart. Especially young girls.

Yesterday I was looking for motivational stuff on pinterest and humorous e-cards and I came across this and I nearly had a stroke.

“inner beauty is for fat people”

First off, fuck you.

Secondly, I know some people of all shapes and sizes that need a dose of inner beauty. Size does not matter.

But most importantly. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS? There are teenage girls everywhere, searching for anything to make them feel more secure and less ugly. They’re awkward. They still have their baby fat at 14 but their friends are tall and thin. They hope to hell the Ugly Duckling story is true…so they search for anything to make them feel hope….and they see this.

Sigh.

So we had a conversation about it on FB yesterday.

Sorry, some of the comments are doubled, but you get the picture.

The fact is, kids are impressionable. You tell a little girl she’s beautiful on the inside or has a great personality and one day somebody will like her, then what you get is a little girl who believes she’ll never be pretty. Or that she’ll always be fat and that fat isn’t beautiful. If you mock a little girl for not having boobs to wear that dress or for wearing a slut dress, that little girl hears that boobs are what’s important in life and that she’s a slut. If you tell a little girl her thighs are too big for that short skirt, you’ll get a little girl who believes she has fat thighs–even if they’re all muscle.

Why do we shame people like this? No wonder it’s so hard for people to overcome their childhood issues.

You can say what you want to me or about me. I don’t care. Like I said, I am comfortable in my own skin and your opinion of me doesn’t matter. But when these messages get out and young, impressionable minds see them, it breaks my heart. Growing up, I was that girl. Had I seen this as a teen, I think it would have broken me.

Anyway, just be nice to each other, okay? And remember, everyone is beautiful. Their actions may be ugly sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have something beautiful inside them.

/end rant.

11 thoughts on “Honestly? What is wrong with people?

  1. And we wonder why little girls are making themselves vomit to be thin. Listen, I am not as thin as I once was and I am perfectly ok with that. I have carried a child inside of my body, fed him from my breast, I am a woman, and a mother and I am damned proud of the extra padding that added to me!!! Im sure Laken wouldnt know what to do if he didnt have a little bump on my belly to lay his head on while watching movies!!! It just sickens me that mainstream media shoves down our throats from age 3 that thin to the point of unhealthy is what is beautiful. Look at Adele…..thick and beautiful. Queen Latifa…… thick and beautiful.

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  2. of course, beauty is all about attitude in my mind. (same as sex appeal) If you carry yourself with confidence, you exude beauty. No matter your size. Confidence does not mean building yourself up by tearing others down. If you're always making fun of fat people or bragging about how skinny you are, or if you think all skinny people are assholes and need to eat a sandwich, then you're not being beautiful. You're being ugly on the outside which makes you ugly on the inside. You have to be secure with the person you are, no matter what size or shape you are. Until you become comfortable with yourself, you won't feel inner or outer beauty. And if we don't teach our children to love themselves for who they are and if we don't stop shaming them for their looks or their feelings, then this cycle will never be broken.

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  3. Its just like my sweet little neighbor Kelis. She has been convinced she is too black therefore isnt pretty. She is the most beautiful little girl (and honestly Laken is in love with her) but media makes it seem only light colored black women are pretty. I mean there are a handful of dark skin models. So of course I tell her how jealous I am of her pretty dark skin and how I am going to lay out in the sun all summer so I can be pretty like her. It kills my soul that she thinks she isnt pretty. And its not because her mom doesnt tell her she is beautiful, she does…….a lot. Its what Kelis sees that has convinced her that she isnt. JUST LIKE THIS E-CARD!! Its mean spirited and hurtful to young girls.

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  4. The entire point here is what you are teaching the kids. It's like your own family (like a godbrother) who tormented you entirely through middle school about being flat chested, or a Mom who screams at her young daughter she looks like a whore in a dress she bought when she was unsupervised when she bought it. Or classmates that make sure you know they think your stupid regardless of how talented you might be in other areas. These things impact children. IT'S NOT ABOUT SKINNY, it's about all those negative things kids here these days. Kids need to see and know the love around them. The card, being reflective of a skinny person making fun of a fat person, is what this is all about. So. With that being said some people need to sit back and think hard about what they teach their kids and how they are going about it.

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  5. You're so right, Robyn. That's exactly my point. Words stick and are very hard to get over. It took me YEARS to realize I was more than my weight. And that I was a beautiful person inside and out. We as parents and (supposed) adults have GOT to be more mindful of the words we use and the examples we set for our kids. Nobody's perfect, but name calling and weight shaming (ANY weight) is really unacceptable.I wonder why it is so hard for people to understand that? No wonder little bullies grow up to be big bullies.

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  6. I honestly wish that if other people who read your blog and disagree with this then they would make an anonymous comment. Everyone is entitled to an opinion HERE and not be passive aggressive about it.

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  7. All opinions are welcome here as long as they are presented without hate and bitterness. HOWEVER, who on earth would disagree with this blog topic? Do they hate kittens and bunnies and chocolate, too?

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  8. I read once the most sexy women seen are those who exude confidence-and it probably goes towards men too, but good luck teaching this to young ones. We can only do our best and keep trying to make this world just a little bit better.

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