topless driving and inappropriate conversations

How is it that I waited this long to buy a convertible? I will never have anything else now. *so in love with sally sparkle*

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Seriously, I require a massive amount of sunlight to make me happy. Just driving with the top down on the way to work, starts my day off just right. No matter what mood I’m in when I wake up, I’m always happier after 20 minutes in the sun and wind.
Welcome to the bullet points of miscellany. My brain is in ADHD mode, so you have been warned:

  • My little salsa garden is doing great! I cannot wait to make my first batch of homemade salsa.
  • I was feeling kinda cranky last night and Rader was so cute trying to make me laugh. He finally managed to succeed.
  • Ian washed the dishes and watered the plants yesterday because he is awesome.
  • I have a doctor’s appointment in 10 days for a check up. Is it possible to lose 30lbs by then?
  • I am the best griller on earth. I know grilling is supposed to be a man’s job, but seriously, nobody with a penis can hold a candle to my awesome meat.
  • That makes me Queen of the Grill.
  • Eating clean is going pretty well, except for the 1 week hiccup due to my headcold…then I just ate anything that was easy. Mostly cheese and chimichangas. Apparently I needed to feed my cold Mexican food.
  • Stacey Jay is coming over again this weekend and I love her with ALL THE LOVE.
  • I don’t want her to leave me again.
  • We have fun conversations that are very inappropriate. Here’s a snippet of things you miss when you’re not with us “YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR CAT INSIDE ME!”
  • Please don’t ask me to provide the context of that quote.
  • Oh, here’s another provided by my friend Marissa: “She is little. She is mean. She is a bitch… HER NAME IS AMY.”
  • Stacey and I think that is a fantastic book title. We may have to write that story.
  • There is a mattress on my porch. We are klassy.
  • There may have been a discussion of droopy meat-curtains and shaggy rugs women who don’t landscape during swimsuit season.
  • Rader starts driver’s ed this week. He’s been rocking it with me, so I’m pretty sure he’ll pass with driving colors.
  • If I win the lottery, I’m going to fly far, far away.
  • I rewatched Game of Thrones and it wasn’t as meh for me this time. However, I still needed somebody bad to die. Mostly, I needed Joffrey to die.
  • I imagine Margeary killing Joffrey on their wedding night with the same bow he killed Roz with.
  • That will never happen, but it would be awesome.
  • He’s probably gonna die in some weaselly way…like choke on a rib bone while torturing Sansa. I would be okay with that, too, as long as nobody tries to save him and they watch him die.
  • I would like his grandpa to stand over him while he gasps for breath while choking. Grandpa would say, “I can’t hear you, did you say ‘save me, I’m your King?’ because, you’re no king.”
  • I need a swimming pool.
  • And a lake or beach in my backyard.
  • Sorry. I’m just saying things now.
  • I’ll stop bullet pointing and move on.
  • In a minute.
  • happy Tuesday y’all.
  • Bye.
  • Bye.

 

9 thoughts on “topless driving and inappropriate conversations

  1. I just dont understand why we were not ALL born independently wealthy so we could just sit around and talk about unshaven meat wallets and Wayne Brady ALL DAY, EVERY DAY! Then Stacie J could fly back and forth so her hubby could do his wine (thats WINE no H involved) and we could still keep her. Ok well back to reality. This past weekend, although I spent WAY too much money, is really going to be hard to beat this summer. It was pretty damned near perfect IMHO

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    • You meant “so we could all sit around our beach compound and talk about unshaven meat wallets and Wayne Brady.” Right? Because when I win the lottery, I’m buying an island compound and you all will have your own wing and we’ll have Man-Cubs to serve us all the booze and we’ll hire Gillian Michaels to train us everyday so we can stay hot and still drink all the booze. And we’ll make sure there’s at least 1 hot island girl to serve our men when we can’t be bothered… Yes. I’m digging this scenario.

      Beef curtain conversations will be so much better at the beach.

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      • I mean if you think about it ANYTHING is better on the beach. Stubbing your big toe is better if there is sand, sun, hot man-cubs and alcohol. I like your idea but I am so simple I would be happy at Compound de Mel-Jefe……….thats sad huh?

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      • omg. Man cubs. I love that. Dahling, where is my man cub and why isn’t he serving me a drink right now?

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      • I don’t know. I definitely think we may be in dire need of a serious hunting trip! Load your cannons, girls! Let’s go find our Man Cubs!

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      • Does that require work and energy? Because you both know I am adamantly opposed to either of those things. Cant we just call them and make them come to us? With chocolate in one hand and wine in the other????

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      • Ok I can do that………..I may need more quiche for that. You know with the high protein and all

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  2. I want NOTHING to do with men. I would like a People Cave though. I just want peace. I’d love to be on a beach where I can be in the shade with a slight breeze or in full sun and floating on a raft. Btw, I have nothing against men. I just want time where I can just be me and not have to answer to anyone. I’d need someone to make pina coladas all day for me though. Yep, that would be Paradise!

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