Scenes from the lake

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This weekend was amazing. I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed.

Rader and I hung out in the hammock on Saturday. I read, he talked. We had to actually put him on mandatory Quiet Time on the way home last night. Seriously. That kid just yammers on like he’s got something to say. LOL

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This Spider is not real. However, you don’t know that when you pass by it. Trust me.

 

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WE’RE ON A BOAT!

Da Godfodda was our water taxi driver. We enjoyed Saturday afternoon on the lake after the rain moved on.

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A rare sighting! El Jefe!

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It really was a wonderful weekend. I read. FOR PLEASURE, all weekend long. I can’t remember the last time I did that!! Honestly, if it weren’t for the 2 hour drive there…Laura and Mac would never get rid of us. LOL

I did somehow manage to get eaten alive by chiggers on the entire left side of my body. Ugh.

El Jefe discovered evidence that Anacondas have a lair at Greers Ferry Lake. Giant snake skins…but no snakes to go with them. Because they’re hiding. Watching. Waiting…

I hope your weekend was as magically delicious as ours!

Melf unplugged

The fellas (minus Ian because he’s a working man now) and I will be heading to the lake tomorrow for a full day and night of fun. And then we will rinse and repeat on Sunday. I am so ready for a break.

Which means, I’m unplugging this weekend. Sure I’ll have my phone on me (because I can’t NOT take pictures!!) but I am not gonna be online. Yup. Even Facebook. (maybe) (probably) (possibly) (hopefully) (not much). At. All.

Try not to miss me!

In other internet news… There has been a couple of really fantastic discussions on one of my favorite blogs. If you’re interested in seeing how internet discussion SHOULD work, check out this blog post over at Raising Kids Without Religion.

Actually, there are two pretty great discussions going on right now:

God as a placebo
Children Taking a Different Path

I really enjoy reading the well thought out discussions and the respectful way they are conducted. Religion (and politics) can be such divisive topics that they are rarely discussed without anger and condescension. It is so refreshing to know there are places on the internetz that allow for these discussions without all the child-like behavior. Who knew that could exist? I never leave that website wanting to yell MOM! SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET AGAIN!

Okay my bitches! I leave you with your moment of zen…which will also give you an idea of what I will be doing all weekend long…

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topless driving and inappropriate conversations

How is it that I waited this long to buy a convertible? I will never have anything else now. *so in love with sally sparkle*

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Seriously, I require a massive amount of sunlight to make me happy. Just driving with the top down on the way to work, starts my day off just right. No matter what mood I’m in when I wake up, I’m always happier after 20 minutes in the sun and wind.
Welcome to the bullet points of miscellany. My brain is in ADHD mode, so you have been warned:

  • My little salsa garden is doing great! I cannot wait to make my first batch of homemade salsa.
  • I was feeling kinda cranky last night and Rader was so cute trying to make me laugh. He finally managed to succeed.
  • Ian washed the dishes and watered the plants yesterday because he is awesome.
  • I have a doctor’s appointment in 10 days for a check up. Is it possible to lose 30lbs by then?
  • I am the best griller on earth. I know grilling is supposed to be a man’s job, but seriously, nobody with a penis can hold a candle to my awesome meat.
  • That makes me Queen of the Grill.
  • Eating clean is going pretty well, except for the 1 week hiccup due to my headcold…then I just ate anything that was easy. Mostly cheese and chimichangas. Apparently I needed to feed my cold Mexican food.
  • Stacey Jay is coming over again this weekend and I love her with ALL THE LOVE.
  • I don’t want her to leave me again.
  • We have fun conversations that are very inappropriate. Here’s a snippet of things you miss when you’re not with us “YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR CAT INSIDE ME!”
  • Please don’t ask me to provide the context of that quote.
  • Oh, here’s another provided by my friend Marissa: “She is little. She is mean. She is a bitch… HER NAME IS AMY.”
  • Stacey and I think that is a fantastic book title. We may have to write that story.
  • There is a mattress on my porch. We are klassy.
  • There may have been a discussion of droopy meat-curtains and shaggy rugs women who don’t landscape during swimsuit season.
  • Rader starts driver’s ed this week. He’s been rocking it with me, so I’m pretty sure he’ll pass with driving colors.
  • If I win the lottery, I’m going to fly far, far away.
  • I rewatched Game of Thrones and it wasn’t as meh for me this time. However, I still needed somebody bad to die. Mostly, I needed Joffrey to die.
  • I imagine Margeary killing Joffrey on their wedding night with the same bow he killed Roz with.
  • That will never happen, but it would be awesome.
  • He’s probably gonna die in some weaselly way…like choke on a rib bone while torturing Sansa. I would be okay with that, too, as long as nobody tries to save him and they watch him die.
  • I would like his grandpa to stand over him while he gasps for breath while choking. Grandpa would say, “I can’t hear you, did you say ‘save me, I’m your King?’ because, you’re no king.”
  • I need a swimming pool.
  • And a lake or beach in my backyard.
  • Sorry. I’m just saying things now.
  • I’ll stop bullet pointing and move on.
  • In a minute.
  • happy Tuesday y’all.
  • Bye.
  • Bye.

 

the sungoddess enjoyed her weekend. and a recipe! also a little Game of Thrones talk. #GoT

The ex used to call me a sungoddess and this weekend, I finally rediscovered her. (Boy I miss the lakehouse…)

The sun is worshiping the goddess. Or is the goddess worshiping the sun? Tomato/ToMAHto.

The sun is worshiping the goddess. Or is the goddess worshiping the sun? Tomato/ToMAHto.

So basically, Saturday the girls and I had a fabulous brunch where I cooked the most amazing quiche (recipe to follow) and Lynne fixed the most amazing biscuits and gravy and Robyn made the most amazing mimosas. And then we went to the pool and lounged about.

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Muy delicioso!

MELF’S “SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA” QUICHE

Pie crust
1 8 oz bar Greek Yogurt Cream Cheese
Cholula
5 eggs
5(or more) cooked slices of bacon
1/4-1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
baby spinach (about 3/4 of a cup)
1 cup cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon basil

Preheat oven to 425

Put the pie crust in the pie plate. (Duh) Soften the cream cheese then spread evenly on the pie crust. Cover the cream cheese with Cholula sauce. (to taste. I use a lot.) Break up all the bacon and layer it on top of the cream cheese. Layer 3/4 of the cheddar cheese next.

Whip the eggs, sour cream, milk, salt, pepper and basil til well blended. Remove the stems from the baby spinach and add to the egg mixture. Pour into the pie. Cover with remaining cheese.

Cover the edges of your crust with foil or a pie crust protector. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then turn the heat to 350 and bake another 20-30 minutes.

SUPRISE MUTHAFUCKA! This is some good shit! And it’s very high in protein, especially if you use the Greek Yogurt Cream Cheese.

Now…Let’s talk about the let down that was the Game of Thrones finale…

I mean, yes, I’m glad Arya and the Hound had a moment. And that Dani had a moment. And that Sansa and Tyrion and a moment. But when you offer up a foreshadowing smack to the head with a skillet when Bran discusses the unforgivable sin of killing a guest in your home…and then the next scene is that hideous Walder Frey bragging about having done just that…and then you DON’T KILL ANYONE THAT DESERVES TO DIE in the season finale…well, it’s just anticlimactic.

The episode was just Okay. I guess I have grown to have huge expectations from this show because this season has just flown by and each episode has really been fast and fulfilling…so I expected something more from the season ender.  I am soooo looking forward to the next season. I am really gonna miss Hodor. LOL

hodorWell, at least I have Newsroom to look forward to. Oh, and that trainwreck True Blood that I can’t seem to stop watching. I blame it on the Viking Vampire.

Rader returned safely from his tournament in Decatur. They were not champions, but they finished with a win in their final game. He reported that he played well and is glad to be back in AR. I’m gonna be glad to see him tonight. The prodigal son of mine returned home last night. It was nice to see his face again. I like having my big babies all under the same roof.

Alright gang. That’s about it for this Monday report. Except I’m crying all the cries because my arms are hurting all the hurts thanks to the weed-eater. WHY MUST IT WEIGH 20BILLION POUNDS? #ouch.

hello weekend. my how I’ve missed you.

Weekend plans = cleaning, rearranging some furniture, watching a movie or two, and hanging out with Birdrunner by her pool…there will possibly be some Beer-Rita consumption going on…possibly.

I’ve been missing Birdrunner. She’s accused me of moving to Saline county and abandoning her. This is completely untrue. It’s just that I’ve switched where I get my pedicures and I haven’t been able to go with her in a while. BUT I’m thinking maybe I can convince her to come along with me next time and meet Lola the Toe Girl. She’s pretty amazing.

The boys are going to the lake on Saturday with their daddy and some other friends. It sounds like a good time will be had by all. I am seriously looking forward to some down time. I’ve been going nonstop for 3 or more weeks, and it’s time for a break.

Plus, I’ve been plotting my new books and now it’s time to start tweaking the synopsis and writing! I’m actually eager to start writing…but it’s a super sekrit story. I will say it involves a mean step mother, lizards, faeiries and a parallel universe… oh and there’s royalty and a sorceror and some speedy guardian turtles. Or maybe I’m making all that up. OH wait! That’s what I do! Make stuff up!

Stay tuned!

Okay, here’s this week’s random iPhone picture. I figure it’s appropriate since I’ll be at the pool tommorrow!

back from Cleavage, um I mean, Beaver Lake

It takes 4 hours to drive to Beaver Lake. My air is out in my car. I was swimming in my own sweat by the time I arrived.

It was so worth it.

I am back. Relaxed. And ready to rock.

Oh. and I tried out a new bathing suit…you guys think I’ve done cleavage before? Um no. This suit was made in Cleavagetown designed by Cleavage von Cleavageton. I love the suit, but I’m not so sure it’s suitable for mixed company. Or at least if children are nearby. Like in the same county.

I thought about posting a picture, but then I might have to change the rating of this blog…

Oh hell. Why not? You tell me, yay or nay? Do I bravely wear this suit amongst the mere mortals or do I wear it only amongst my goddess like girlfriends?


Did y’all have a good weekend?

blinded by the lake…

First off, I’d like to thank everyone for the kind text messages and emails checking to make sure that we were not where the flash flooding occured. We were about an hour away, and we were in a house on a hill. There was no flooding whatsoever in our area. What happened at the Albert Pike Campground was a terrible tragedy. A flash flood at 5:30 A.M. in a remote area is just not something anyone can prepare for. I’m so thankful we are all safe and alive. My heartfelt prayers go to the families and friends who lost someone in the flood.
Now onto today’s blog…
The weekend was fabulous except for 1 tiny little glitch… My beautiful red glasses are now being worn by some stylish fish in Lake Ouachita.
Yeah. You know something like that had to happen. Of course, I didn’t have any contacts with me (had an eye infection a few weeks ago, remember? I’m not wearing those contacts again until I get new ones…) And of course, I didn’t bring an extra pair of glasses, cuz why would I? I’ve been wearing my glasses on the lake for 30+ years…I’ve never lost them before! Why would I lose them now?
Well, because sometimes Karma likes to have a little fun with a girl, that’s why. But it’s all good. It all worked out. And in the grand scheme of things, this was small potatoes compared to what could have happened. So, I just laughed and cried a little…drank a little, borrowed my friend’s extra pair of glasses (which were surprisingly close to my prescription) and moved on.
Here is the last picture ever taken of me and my awesome glasses. May they swim in peace…

I drove and parked the party barge like a champ. Got a little sun. Had some yummy food. Enjoyed several flavors of Ring Pops. And had a fantastic time with 6 7 (Allana left a little early so she isn’t pictured here) women who I’m lucky to call my friends. Life is good.

Vitamin D

So we spent yesterday at the lake with the fam. It was a great day. My brother played Captain and I played Goddess and the kids just played. I always feel amazing after a good dose of Vitamin D!

Here’s a pic that sums up the day pretty well.
No we’re not having any fun at all, are we?

Of course, being on the lake just makes me long for some beach time. It wasn’t far from this time last year that I was frolicking in the sand and surf, soaking up all the Vitamin D I could. I’m so ready to do that again. Maybe I can squeeze some time in this summer…if the oil doesn’t manage to ruin it for everyone.

Dear BP,
You suck.
Love,
Melf

If I could be anywhere right now, it would be the Florida Keys. I’m actually thinking about going this year for Christmas because I’ve never been. Who wants to join me? This place looks nice

checking in then checking out…

So, I spent the weekend in Oxford. Got in Friday night, dropped Rader off with a friend and then headed to my next door neighbor’s house for some late night swimming. The water was so warm it was like swimming in a giant hot tub–or giant pool of pee. We decided the hot tub analogy was better.

Saturday was a day for cleaning. We didn’t accomplish as much as we wanted to but we did get the back 3 bedrooms and bathrooms cleaned and in ship shape. Then we went to see our friends Richard and Heather in Water Valley, MS. It was a good time, but I thought I was gonna have to cut Rich’s fingers off. He kept trying to touch my nose “diamond”. And he kept saying “you got something on your nose.” Yeah, that never got old. But it was Richard, so I forgave him. Besides, he’s from Alabama, he really doesn’t know any better.

I wasn’t feeling very well, so we left a little early. I was in bed by 9:30 that night. It seems my mother passed on her chest cold to me. Ian had it last week…so bad he actually missed his 3rd day of school. I’ve been fighting it with everything I’ve got. Vitamins, sleep, airborne, more sleep…today I’m feeling much better. Which is good because I didn’t want to go to the beach with a cold.

Oh, did I forget to mention I’m going to the beach this week?

Sorry ’bout that.

I’ll try to blog some while I’m there, but honestly, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me. I don’t think I’ll be able to type while I’m two-fisting my beverages…

I’ll be back on Sunday night. If you haven’t heard from me by next Monday, call the blog police.

My workout was good this morning. I ran 2.15 miles in 30 mins on the eliptical and did arms and abs. I know I’m still as slow as a snail, but it feels good to be back in the exercise saddle. I have to make sure I at least walk while at the beach this week–otherwise it will be like starting over again next week.

Maybe I’ll drink light beer while I’m playing the role of Sungoddess. Okay, maybe not.

Any book recommendations for my week of lounging?

fun with pictures

So, we went to Lake Oauchita (pronounced WASH i tah) over the weekend. I would’ve blogged about that Monday had we not come home to a 92 degree house.

Now that we’re back to proper climate control, I can get back to the blog that shoulda been.

Two other couples met us at the lake, Birdrunner and her family and my old boss/friend who now lives in Little Rock, Allison, and her family.

Now, you may think we had fun by looking at the slideshow, however I can assure you the best pictures are below.

We’re not really sure what Birdrunner was thinking when she sat on the styrofoam ice chest, but let me tell ya, I’m really glad she did it, cuz I haven’t laughed like that in a looooooong time.