Ok, I get it Internetz. Y’all really do have a foot fetish. I’ve talked about it before…and now, I’m here talking about it again, you know why?
There’s some dude in Conway, AR going around sucking women’s toes.
Look, I get it. Feet can be sexy. I mean, what’s not sexy about this?
But here’s my problem with this toe sucking thing (besides the fact that toe sucking in general gives me the giant squicks. And yes, that’s an official medical term.) HOW DID THIS DUDE GET THE WOMEN’S FEET TO HIS MOUTH? Because trust me, if his face was anywhere near my foot? The police would be taking my shoe impression directly from his face as evidence for his justifiable homicide.
What I’m saying is, I’d kick his skull in.Without. Remorse.
Because EW. Gross. Stranger Toe Danger. Keep your fungus tongue off my pretty toes.
Here’s something really funny…his description.
White male in his 40s with a pot belly.
Um…I see him EVERYWHERE! NOBODY’S TOES ARE SAFE! (I better go get a pedicure this weekend, because seriously, if my feet are going to be evidence in a justifiable homicide case, they need to be pretty…)
Y’all have a great weekend. And try not to miss me too much. I know. It’ll be hard. But there’s always your dreams…
So I check my statcounter daily to see what brings readers to my blog. (Other than my dedicated regular readers, who I love and adore with all my heart. Except for you. And you know why… heh) I get a lot of google searches looking for me and my books. That’s awesome.
I get a lot of MILF GENERATION or just MILF searches which usually takes them a blog from 2009 which features a Star Trek Next Generation corset. It’s sexy. And one day, I plan to wear it. BTW, I’ve now found a Darth Vader corset that might actually win out over the TNG corset…Oh yeah. Happy Halloween indeed.
Sorry. I lost my concentration for a moment.
Lately, one of the most common searches has been for feet. Now, look, I love pretty feet. I post pics of my shoes and my pedicures all the time. And the hands down, most popular google search has been MELISSA FRANCIS FEET and it takes them to this post. And this post from 2008 when I was partying in Boston (and when I was blond…)
What’s the common denominator in both blogs? This picture:
the internetwebz loves shoe porn. (so, which feet are mine in the foot orgy?)
I love shoe porn, too. Which brings me to my latest purchase. A shoe that I have fallen in love with. A shoe that makes my feet look sexy, my legs look long, and makes me almost 6 ft. tall. This is a that shoe I’m having to practice walking in because it’s higher than anything that has ever been on my feet. (never thought I’d see the day that I almost look down on El Jefe, unless I was standing on a ladder.)
And a shoe, that I seriously was able to purchase at LuLu’s in Oxford for 75% off…bringing the grand total to $15…which means even if I never walk in these shoes, they were worth the price.
There you go, internetwebz. Enjoy your newest google hit when you search Melissa Francis Feet. You’re welcome.