I’ve been waiting…

For a musical like you, to come into my life…

Confession: I don’t like musicals. At. All. I can name 3 that I actually enjoy…the rest can all jump in a lake. I can’t stand Glee and I know that offends many of you, but I just can. not. watch it. Without gagging and rolling my eyes so hard it hurts.

I realize this makes me a traitor to my gender, but somehow I’ve managed to be able to live with that.

Friday night, I went to see ROCK OF AGES with my girlfriends. I knew full well that it was a musical and I was quite aware that there would be some cheese-tastic moments full of eye-rolling glory, but I was willing to risk permanent eye injury to relive the music of my high school and college years. I wanted to go back to the days of big hair, short skirts, rockin’ concerts, and ripped jeans.

And ROCK OF AGES did not disappoint.

So I went to see it again on Sunday. Yes. That’s how much I loved this movie.

It is funny, campy, cheesy and epic. I never fancied myself a Tom Cruise ‘fan’ (not since Top Gun *fans self*) and especially not since his couch jumping visit to Crazy Town…but let me tell you, I am now, officially a huge fan. He was born to play this role. And he rocked it. Pun intended.

And if I thought I was in love with both Alec Baldwin and Russel Brand before this movie? Let me tell you, I didn’t know what love was until this flick.

This movie is to be seen knowing it is a musical. Knowing it isn’t to be taken seriously, but just enjoyed. And even if you’re allergic to most musicals like I am, you will enjoy this movie, especially if you were a teen or in your early twenties in the 80s.

rollin’ like a boss

El Jefe has a new ride. Well, it’s a “new to him” ride and she’s a beauty. 1985 Mercedes 300D Turbo Diesel. Trust me, he’s rollin’ like a boss in this baby.

She needs some TLC that’s for sure, but her interior is almost impeccable. This will be a fun car to restore. I’m going to make him wear a driver’s hat while I sit in the backseat and sip my cocktail. Drive on, James. (why are the drivers always named James?)

While we were in Hot Springs picking up his new girlfriend car, we decided to stop in for a beverage at The Ohio Club: The oldest bar in Arkansas. I’m pretty sure I sat next to Al Capone…or was sitting on Mae West’s lap…It’s a great old bar and we’ll have to go back again.

Jefe tried a new monk-made beer: St. Berarndus

And I tried what was touted as the “Best Beer in the World.” It was yummy, but I’m not sure it was the best…

We did loads of yard work on Saturday, I planted tons of seeds that will hopefully turn into a giant bed of color here in a few weeks. I’ll keep you posted.

How was your weekend?


So every girl needs a compliment everyday once in a while. It’s funny how far something like “Hey beautiful” or “You look hot!” or “I love your smile” or even better “Have you lost weight?” will get you. I’m actually pretty sure sincere compliments will cure cancer. And Scoliosis. C’mon! you know you sit up straighter when you’re complimented!

Anyway…I do have a point here, and I think I’m finally ready to get to it…

Last night, Ian and I were catching up. He was very enthusiastic about my clean room (until I informed him he was to do the same to his room! har!!) and we were having fun checking out some of the old pics I found. One of which is me…lying on the beach wearing a bikini. The only bikini I ever owned and I’m quite certain this is the only picture of me in said bikini in existence.

Ian: That wasn’t very long ago, was it Mom?
Me: I was 21, so yes, 21 years ago.
Ian: You could wear that now.
Me: Very nice son! Your sucking up is really improving!
Ian: Really? But seriously, you know I think you’re really pretty, right?

Clean up aisle 9! There’s a puddle of Mel on the floor. Someone bring a mop and a bucket because she totally just MELted. (har har!)

Best compliment ever. I mean EVER.

his sucking up REALLY has improved…

skinny, lucky, hot, friday!

Because I’m such a dork, I totally took a pic of me in my skinny jeans this morning.

Now look. I know the skinny is really “skinny” but whatever. I haven’t worn these jeans in almost 2 years when I got down to my lowest weight since forever. And then I kinda sorta started eating everything that didn’t run away from me. (because if it ran from me, I would have to chase it…and well, that was exercise.) Anyway, I’m back in my “skinny” jeans and I’m damn happy about it…and SO ARE YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

I’m also feeling rather lucky today because I was walking from my car to my office, looked down into a patch of clover (that I look at everyday) and what did I see?

That’s right. A four-leaf clover. My inner leprechaun jumped out and made see it as I was walking by, so that makes me not only “skinny” today, but “lucky” as well.

Now let’s talk about hot.

It is freaking HOT outside and I’m loving it. I’m sorry, but I’ll take 95 degree days over snow-covered 20 degree days anytime.

I mean, I know Little Rock isn’t a mecca of snowfall, but honestly, we had our share this year. And then the rain as well. So as far as I’m concerned, sunshine and HOT is most welcome here.

And it’s Friday. I have no kids, no plans, and no worries. Well, I am going to clean my fur-infested house but other than that, I’m hoping a certain someone’s pool will be blue again and that I can find myself lounging beside it at some point. Or maybe there will be a certain party barge that will have a charged battery and I can tool around the lake one day. Because I’m afraid I’m losing my tan and we can’t have that happen! It’s only June 3 for corn’s sake!

Happy weekend y’all!

Coming soon to a bookstore in FRANCE near you…

How do you say BITE ME! and LOVE SUCKS! in French? I don’t have a clue, but we’ll soon find out! From Publisher’s Marketplace:

International rights: Children’s

French rights to Melissa Francis’s BITE ME! And LOVE SUCKS, to Bibliotheque Interdite, by Anne Lenclud, on behalf of Elaine Spencer at The Knight Agency.

I’m totally stoked! YAY!

I have a secret

And secrets are fun.

I should be able to tell you tomorrow… but until then, here’s a hint:

Pouvez-vous deviner mon secret?

OK slightly off topic but BETTER OFF DEAD is one of my all time favorite movies ever and ever and ever.

I will tell you this isn’t a Dirty Little Secret. Hope you’re not too disappointed…

Get Me to the GEEK

Guys. GUYS! Are you watching Game of Thrones on HBO? If not, then you need to be. And if you don’t have HBO, now’s the time you suck it up and pay for it.

Wanna read the best recap of the show ever? My friend Stoney does a bang up job getting her Geek on with her D&D references, while throwing in some Ren and Stimpy love. (and really, who doesn’t want a Justice Log now?) This show is really fantastic if you’re a fantasy lover or a wanna be. (I’m a nerd, not a geek, but I’m totally working on my GeekCred by dating an UberGeek and by giving birth to an UberGeekWannaBe.)

There are also recaps other fabu stuff like Big Love, Southland, Batman: Year One, Robin: Year One and Snooki’s book. 🙂 Check out her site at Hey Don’t Judge Me! She’s +10 in Awesome.


I work on my tan. I should take advantage of the few remaining afternoons I have off before I rejoin the full timers. Also, I must get a good base tan going before the girls and I head to Orange Beach. I might also start to train my body for 4 days and 3 nights of overindulgence.

We have adopted the motto of “what happens in OB, stays in OB” (yeah, so we’ll be getting sued by Vegas any minute now) but I’m thinking that MAYBE I’ll offer a few sneak peeks into our 3 day attempt at completing all the 7 Deadly Sins…

that naughty librarian fantasy you’ve always had?

Just got one step closer to becoming reality…

Okay, not exactly. But close enough…

One thing I rarely (if EVER) talk about on my blog is my daytime job. This is my personal space and I talk about fun stuff, and writing, and friends & family, etc. And I’ve always kept my job talk at a minimum. For one…it’s not very professional to spout off about my job (good, bad, or ugly). And number two, I’ve actually only been working part time for a couple of years.

I’ve spent the majority of the last year and a half looking for a full time job. (Me and everyone else, apparently) I’ve gotten very close a time or two, but I’m trying very hard to get out of accounting work (which doesn’t make me happy but I have tons of experience in) and get back into communications type work (which I have limited experience but makes me happy…)

Starting in May, I will be working as a Research Assistant to the Dean of the Ottenheimer Library at UALR. I will be doing lots of writing and communications work as well as other stuff. I interviewed with the Dean and immediately adored her. I knew we’d had a great connection but…I was so worried that I was gonna get another “We really liked you and it was a hard decision but we selected another candidate because she had X number of years more job experience.” Seriously, I might have had a break down had that been the reason for yesterday’s call.

Luckily, it was a job offer instead.

THIS is a dream job for me. It’s in a building with books. I’ll get to write. I’ll be at a university and can continue my education. There will be hot college boys around. What?

April 2011 has been a fantastic month.

Hey Oxford! I’ll be there this weekend and I expect to celebrate!!!

the internetwebz has a foot fetish

So I check my statcounter daily to see what brings readers to my blog. (Other than my dedicated regular readers, who I love and adore with all my heart. Except for you. And you know why… heh) I get a lot of google searches looking for me and my books. That’s awesome.

I get a lot of MILF GENERATION or just MILF searches which usually takes them a blog from 2009 which features a Star Trek Next Generation corset. It’s sexy. And one day, I plan to wear it. BTW, I’ve now found a Darth Vader corset that might actually win out over the TNG corset…Oh yeah. Happy Halloween indeed.
Sorry. I lost my concentration for a moment.

Lately, one of the most common searches has been for feet. Now, look, I love pretty feet. I post pics of my shoes and my pedicures all the time. And the hands down, most popular google search has been MELISSA FRANCIS FEET and it takes them to this post. And this post from 2008 when I was partying in Boston (and when I was blond…)

What’s the common denominator in both blogs? This picture:

the internetwebz loves shoe porn. (so, which feet are mine in the foot orgy?)

I love shoe porn, too. Which brings me to my latest purchase. A shoe that I have fallen in love with. A shoe that makes my feet look sexy, my legs look long, and makes me almost 6 ft. tall. This is a that shoe I’m having to practice walking in because it’s higher than anything that has ever been on my feet. (never thought I’d see the day that I almost look down on El Jefe, unless I was standing on a ladder.)

And a shoe, that I seriously was able to purchase at LuLu’s in Oxford for 75% off…bringing the grand total to $15…which means even if I never walk in these shoes, they were worth the price.

There you go, internetwebz. Enjoy your newest google hit when you search Melissa Francis Feet. You’re welcome.