and she cried more, more, more!

Just in case you care, here’s a copy of last night’s workout. (I’m combining various HIIT/and muscle specific exercises for a variety of workouts) Also, I’m not a fitness guru, I’m doing this on my own, at my own risk. If you decide to follow my workouts, it’s all on you. I’m just a moron who can’t afford a personal trainer.  You don’t have to be one, too.

Bootyliciousness workout #6

Bootyliciousness workout #6

By the time I was done with this half-hour…I was crying NO MORE! and I was sweating like a cold beer on a hot table.

I’m staying pretty focused and doing well with my daily exercising…I’m sore, but not in pain. I’m sleeping better and I’m pushing myself to do just “one more” and not quitting when my body wants to.

I’m struggling with keeping my core tight and maintaining appropriate posture when I get tired.

But it’s a process. And I’m showing progress, so no complaints here. (other than, FEED ME!!)

So last night…I had a dream about my ass.

Yep. You read that right. I. Had a dream. About my ASS.

I dreamed that I woke up one morning and was getting dressed and looked in the mirror and my ass looked like this:

It ain't gonna spank itself, fellas.

It ain’t gonna spank itself, fellas.

Now you know why I’m doing all those damn squats. I know my ass is never gonna be this size, but if it could be that shape? I’d never keep my hands off my own ass.

Oh well. I’m always going to have a big butt (So WHAT?) and that’s why, this is my motto

c497556df6ed182311c7f9190bf619bc

let’s hear it for more, more, more lunges, squats and big ol’ butts that cannot lie!

super stoked about Saturday’s #super moon!

Supermoon-430x430 moon-why-you-so-sexy-

We will be at a lovely estate on the Mississippi river enjoying Saturday’s Super Moon. We are definitely going to be looking out for E.T.SS_top_movies_ET

I will be basking in the glorious super moonlight. Looking like this:

devorssand this:

476512-bigthumbnailand y’all are going to be jealous Mo-Fos because you’re not with us. But don’t worry, we’ll be sure to have a grand time anyway. And you know I’ll take lots of pictures because I have a problem. I have an iPhone and I’m not afraid to point and click!

Today, it’s lunch and haircut with Rader. Then an appointment, then I’m off to finish laundry and pack so we can hit the road tonight when Jefe gets home from work. Aw. Yeah.

I don’t know if I’ll be updating the blog as we travel, but you never know! You can always check out my picture-trails from my instagram or facebook. Like I said, I have a problem. But I’m okay with it. I don’t need your approval to make me feel good about myself. (and if you find yourself in need of someone else’s approval to feel good, then you need to repeat after Stuart Smalley:)

“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!”

v6Y6Tjw

take me for a ride on your big green tractor…

You think my tractor's sexy.

You think my tractor’s sexy.

Oh John Deere! I can’t wait to see your museum this weekend!

I was thinking I should wear something awesome to commemorate the visit. Is this “dress” too much?

If I put a pink camo John Deere trucker hat on with it, will that dress it down just right?

Of course, if I were to wear this “dress” I’d have to make a few adjustments. Like add about 3 feet of material at the bottom. The neckline is pretty much perfect for my girls…but I would probably want to wear a tank top so as not to overwhelm all the old farmers who are hanging around.

Okay, I’m kidding. Well, not about the pink camo trucker hat..but the dress? Only for Halloween. You know. When it’s appropriate to be a Slutty Tractor.

Even Ruby loves to John Deere Dream

Even Ruby loves to John Deere Dream

When you spend as much time on a John Deere Tractor as I do, you tend to develop a bit of a crush. So, it’s only natural that I would be overly-excited about my time at the museum. I can’t wait to sit on a combine. I hope I don’t get kicked out…

El Jefe has a family reunion in Iowa, so we are going to enjoy our time on the Mississippi River while I get to meet his family. I really hope his grandfather comes. The stories about him are always fantastic.

Once the reunion is over, we’re headed to Chicago for 1 night. I’ve never been before, and I know 1 night isn’t enough time, but…it’s PrideFest on Sunday! So it’s like the stars have aligned to make sure Chicago will be full of extra sparkle and fabulousness for my arrival. Thank you, STARS!

In a Walgreens update, I was contacted by the company yesterday after they read my blog. They’ve opened a ticket to investigate the complaint, which I do appreciate. The more I hear from people in my town, the more I realize that this Walgreens in particular seems to refuse to fill narcotic prescriptions on a regular basis. They are “out” a lot and “don’t know when they’ll have more in.” Well, that pretty much makes them the shittiest pharmacy ever if their purpose is to fill prescriptions and they rarely do. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO MONITOR OUR MEDS. That is called “Practicing out of the scope of your position.”

Walgreens. You’re fired.

if you’re sexy and you know it

SHAKE DAT ASS!

Damn. Wasn’t that concert great last night? You know, the Beyonce’ concert? Whoa. I never thought my girl crush could be elevated to another level, but somehow, some way, Beyonce’ made me love her even more. There are born entertainers, and this chick is one of them. Also, how perfect is her Brick House Body? That’s why I’m going back to Boot(y)Camp. So I can mold my awesome ass into a Beyonce’ BooTAY.

And OMG. DESTINY’S CHILD! 

BTW, we only watched the concert. I’m glad the Ravens won the Super Bowl, but I wasn’t in the mood for football. And neither was El Jefe. So we watched movies and snuggled and enjoyed some alone time while the boys went to my bonus child’s house and ate ribs and watched the game with their bonus parents.

In some very sad news, one of my favorite places on earth is closing at the end of the month. The Hot Springs Brau Haus has been a very important place in my life for the past 18 years. I spent the majority of my birthdays there. The owner, John, became a dear friend. We became friends with Zac (aka The Angry Tuba Man) and Cheryl–the duo known as The Itinerant Locals. We watched their babies (Eureka and Zephyr) go from belly to babies to big kids on the stage…Ian did his first Chicken Dance at the Brau Haus when he was 18 months old. I had my first taste of Franziskaner Weissbier and Optimator at Brau Haus. Sigh. You will be missed….

It’s that time again!

So while everyone was wasting their time, watching the Alabama game…(seriously, did anyone think that Notre Dame even stood a chance?) I was watching The Bachelor. And my recap is posted for your reading pleasure.

(BTW, I did not root for Alabama. I don’t like them and I can’T root for them just because they’re SEC. I also don’t like Notre Dame, so I didn’t root for anyone. Well, that’s not true. I sorta rooted for a meteor to fall from the sky and land on the stadium…)

Looks like this season of Bachelor is going to be full of more insecure crazy bitches. It’s like they’ve never watched the show before. Where do they find these women?

I’m sorry girls, but being insecure isn’t sexy. Sure, we all have those moments, but when you’re threatened by another woman because they got the first rose, or they got a hug, or they have a nicer rack than you, then all you’re doing is making yourself look sad. ON NATIONAL TV. And your snide, petty, catty remarks, even under your breath, show who you really are…and now we all know.

Of course, it would make for boring TV if they didn’t have the crazies…and let’s face it, real life is full of crazies, too…so I suppose they fit on “Reality TV”.

I went to the gym yesterday. I felt great when finished. I’m heading at lunch again today. I am happy to report that 5 weeks off of bootycamp did not hurt me too badly.

You know, I never worry that much about my weight. Sure, I wanna lose weight so I can be healthier, but I don’t worry about my size.  Sexy is a state of mind. It’s an attitude. And honey, I’m a force to be reckoned with! Yesterday, I was heading back to my office from the gym and a man stopped me to tell me that he always loves seeing me on campus. He said “Your hair catches my eye, but your beautiful smile is what I enjoy seeing the most.” And then he called me lovely. AND I WAS IN GYM CLOTHES AND SWEATING.

Trust me. I didn’t stop smiling all day after that. Feeling good about yourself is always good, but hearing it…especially from an unexpected source like that, is the bombdiggity.

Smile! It keeps you young and makes you feel beautiful!

a Mel-O-Jumble

Bootcamp was great last night. My legs are definitely getting stronger as is my core. Our trainer, Marietta, is offering a 5:00 a.m. yoga class starting next week that I’d really like to do, but I’m afraid I can’t get my butt up and get there that early.

However, I think I’m gonna give it a go. It’s once a week for 4 weeks. I’m a big girl. I can do it. I’ll just put my grown up pants on and get out of bed. (What that really means is, I’ll just sleep in my yoga clothes, roll out of bed and head to the gym half awake.)

Arkansas plays Ole Miss this weekend here in Little Rock. If any of y’all are headed here from Oxford, give me a shout. Jefe and I are probably gonna hit the tailgating early. I have to have Rader at the stadium by 6:30 a.m. to assist the parking. It’s an early game, so I’m thinking there will be a lot of solo cups full of bloody maries and mimosas!

Halloween is next week! I keep getting costume emails. Why do these costume stores think ALL women want to go as “SWAT Hottie” or Sexy WHATEVER. Ugh. My new favorite? Sexy Bat.

Someone in my family used to say “People who dress as the slutty witch for Halloween, are just slutty and the holiday just gives them an excuse to flaunt it.”

Thankfully I’m okay with being sexy year around. This year, I just want to wear a fun wig and makeup. My sexiness is natural, enhancing it with such a costume might cause a rift between universes. I can’t be responsible for that.

Though I will admit that it might be a lot of fun to be a slutty big bird….Feathers and fishnets OH MY!

Whatever you decide to be for Halloween, wear it well. And if you decide to be a slutty bat this year, please stop by the PartyHood so I can see it! Warning, I will judge you based on the advertisement. You better have the rack to fill that top! I wanna see your tits plunging forward and giving people black eyes!

a debate worth having

Last night I had a couple of debates on my Facebook page. Let’s face it, the reality of any Presidential debate actually changing anyone’s mind is slim-to-none, so I decide we needed to have a real debate.

First up: Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds?

This is a hard one for me. Both are amazingly easy on the eyes and cause spontaneous drooling. But Ryan Reynolds seems to have the sense of humor I require. However, Ryan Gosling has that brooding stoicism which I’m also a big fan of… for me, it’s a tie.

Gosling

Reynolds
Then to even things out I asked Jeri Ryan or (old school) Meg Ryan (before the butcher got a hold of her face.)

Jeri Ryan

Old School Meg Ryan
And finally, we had the great nerd debate: Captain James T. Kirk or Captain Jean-Luc Picard?
Kirk
Picard
Would you care to weigh in on this very important matter?

Thursday Night Lights

#66 (aka Rader P. Francis) for the Catholic High freshman football team texted me from the bus yesterday as they were headed to their ballgame:

#66: Be expecting a 40-50 yarder today. I’m in the zone, judging from the reps I was getting before we left.

Me: Awesome. U better not let me down

#66: I certainly don’t plan on it…

Fastforward to the game. 4 punts. Two decent 30+ yarders. One maybe 20 yards long and 50 yards high…. and then…this one:

42 yards of nothing but beauty. (video courtesy of Fishdog)

Here are the texts on the way home: 

#66: Well that sucked…Except for my 3rd punt! [actually his 4th but that’s ok] That was freakin’ awesome!!!!!

Me: Amazing!!!!!!

#66 ikr!!! You should TOoOoOtally blog aboot it.!

Me: 😉 I will

#66: Huzzah! The prophecy has been fullfilled!

Then it ended with the various proud of you, love you, love you too, see ya tomorrow stuff.

Yep. My baby. He’s got a foot on him!

And speaking of babies…Check out Little-Itty-Bitty in her favorite person’s arms. (hint, not mine…my arms aren’t hairy….)

Sorry if the sweetness gave you a cavity.

Happy Friday y’all! Today is awesome, and I have declared it the official Love on a Redhead day.

and don’t forget to sparkle!

Oh. My. God. Becky.

Look at her butt!

It’s like, so big!

yeah, I heard BABY GOT BACK on the radio this morning and I’ve been jammin’ ever since. It’s totally today’s theme song…

Here I am in 2010 doing karaoke to BABY GOT BACK with a couple of my writer friends at the RWA Conference in Orlando. Apparently there is a video out there somewhere…thankfully, I don’t know the location…

Also saw this today and it made me LOLOLOL

to all my friends in Florida, stay safe…and “Outta Sight!”

Have a great weekend! Stay sexy and sparkle on!