Tag Archives: the 4-legged family members

the MONTH OF MEL: a story

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So Lee (who’s off having a baby as we speak) tasked me with one million-billion a list of things to do during the MONTH OF MEL! Most of this stuff takes time and planning so it’s been a little difficult to wake up and blog…but today, since she’s off having a baby, I’m going to attempt to write a story starring my dogs (Ruby and Pete) and her farm dogs The Brood. (Lee is a Cocker Spaniel Rescuer…she has 3 dogs of her own, plus whatever semi-cocker spaniel-like beastie they bestow upon her. I can’t keep up with her three ‘real’ dogs, much less the billions of others she has at any given time.)

Ruby was a pug like no other. Solid black and sassy, and maybe just a wee bit spoiled. But spoiled was such an ugly word. She preferred to think of herself as being pampered at very high standards.

Ruby’s “Master” (that always makes her laugh. Like anyone was her master) was a woman named Mel. And she was pretty much perfect for Ruby. Mel knew where Ruby liked to be scratched, fed her on time, and was easily manipulated into playing with her. There was another dog in the house named Pete. He was big and hairy and kinda grumpy, but Ruby didn’t care. Ruby like biting Pete’s lip and making a funny growly noise until Pete would give in and play.

Ruby was the queen and Mel and Pete were her minions. Life was good.

One night, Mel got a call on the Red Phone. Ruby was a little freaked out by this because the Red Phone hadn’t rung once since Ruby had taken over the world come to live in Chez Francis. Mel answered and her eyes went wide: “It’s for you,” she said, handing the red receiver to Ruby.

Worry and panic seized Ruby. Had they found her? Surely not. It had been almost two years. She had started to relax. She was finally living her life as it should be lived…

She took the phone: “Hello.” Her voice was shaky.

She immediately recognized the dog’s voice on the other end. “Hello Princess Peaches. We’ve found you. It’s time for you to come home.”

Just hearing her old name made her want to vomit. She fought the urge to hurl, as the floor spun beneath her feet. Ruby had hoped they had given up. She should’ve known they would never give up…

[To Be Continued…]

Lee–I’m thinking about you today! Good luck birthin’ that nugget! Love you, girl.

way to ruin a good walk, lady

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Yesterday Fishdog and I took the dogs for a walk. (btw, Fishdog blogged last night, pop over and check out his words of wisdom)

We have a nice, hilly neighborhood with lots of trees, so it’s a really great place to get some exercise in.

Ruby (the smug Pug) was so excited, she couldn’t contain herself. She loves a good walk. I didn’t think I was going to be able to keep up with her at first. She was straining against the leash, begging to run. I’m in no shape to run yet, so she just had to strain. Finally about 4 blocks into the walk, she chilled.

There is a field and a creek where we take the dogs so they can do their ‘walking’ business. Pete (the collie mix) is finicky about where he does his business. Even in the backyard, he’ll chose high grass or go behind a row of bushes. Pete likes his privacy.

Now we always carry doggy bags, just in case the dogs don’t take care of their business in the field area. I know I hate it when I find random piles in my yard and I make certain we don’t allow our animals to crap in our neighbors’ yards.

Which brings me to the rest of the story.

Fishdog and I were admiring a couple of yards on the street. Ruby sniffed around a culvert and decided that the ditch was the perfect place to pee. She peed, we moved on.

A door opened and I hear a lady’s voice “Hey!” It was a friendly voice. I turned around and smiled thinking maybe it was someone we knew. “Can I clean that up for you?” she asked.

What?

I was stunned. I said, “Um, no. She just peed. We have bags.” And we turned and walked away.

Can I tell you how much that pissed me off? Cuz it did. Royally.

I had already responded when I thought of a better comeback. (isn’t that always the way?) I should’ve said, “Sure. She peed a lot, so bring two sheets.” Fishdog suggested, “Nah. The leaves covered it up.”

I can’t believe she assumed I let my dog shit in her yard!

I guarantee you that after we walked on, she came outside and checked. Hah. Fishdog and I contemplated cleaning up our backyard last night and dumping the whole bag in hers…but that just wouldn’t be very neighborly. It sure would make me feel better though.

T-minus 21 hours

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My flight leaves bright and early tomorrow morning. Of course, I checked the weather and it looks like it’s supposed to rain every day I’m in FL…but as long as it only rains for a little bit, I’ll be good.

Sockmonkey and I packed last night. I’m trying to do carry-on only, which is a difficulty for me. I am bad about over packing. Very bad. But I know that I really don’t need anything but a couple of bathing suits a cover up and something to wear if we go out to eat. But once I start packing, it’s hard for me to remember that. I only packed 2 pair of shoes. Proud? I’ll wear my Adidas flipflops on the plane. I packed my sneakers to walk in, and I packed my nice fliplops for goin’ out. These will dress up any outfit, don’t you agree?
I managed one suitcase. It wasn’t easy, which is why Sockmonkey looks so spent here:


Packing lightly is hard work. She deserved that beer.

The moment I pulled out the suitcase, the animals realized something was afoot. Well, Gizzard and Ruby did. Pete could care less because it’s me. If it were Fishdog, Pete would be panting and pacing and going all kinds of crazy.

Pete: Whatever Mom. I like Dad better. Begone, already.

Gizzard: Are we going somewhere? Cuz I wanna go. Please take me!

Ruby: You’re leaving me, aren’t you? Abandoning me. You’re going to take that damn monkey on a trip and leave me with the boys. I thought you loved me. I can see now I was wrong.

And then she pouted the rest of the night and went downstairs to hang out in the Penis Cave with the boys to punish me.

I plan to blog while I’m there. Not sure if they’ll be full blown blogs, but there will be content. And some pictures. Maybe. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to post those. Depends on how incriminating they are…

if she weren’t so damn cute

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I whined a bit about this last night at Romance Divas, so this isn’t really news to some of my devoted fans readers.

Meet Ruby. She’s a cute as a button, right? (an aside…has anyone really seen a cute button? I have never understood that phrase.)

This sweet little puggy girl busted my lip last night. It’s funny, now that I think about it, but it was NOT funny last night when I was bleeding all over the place.

See, I was taking a sip from my beer bottle when Ruby decided she HAD to be in my lap at that very moment. When she landed in my lap, her knob-head hit the bottle, which rammed my lip against my tooth. I thought she’d broken my tooth at first. Thankfully, she just cut my lip.

Today, it’s not as swollen as I thought it would be. I actually look like I’ve had a nice little limp-plumping session with a good Cosmetic Surgeon. (Not like Priscilla Presley or Scary Janice Dickinson) Now if I could just stop messing with it…

owned by a cat

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Meet Ginger. We often call her “Up High Cat” because she loves to find the highest possible point in the house and sleep there. As a matter of fact, she loves the attic. She will stand in the hall, underneath the attic pull down and squall until we let her up there to explore.

Up High Cat also loves to explore our basement area. It’s a 3/4 finished space with a French drain and shelving, and a big mound of dirt for her to roll in. Since she’s an inside cat, this is her one place to go hunting, gathering, and exploring.

Monday, she found this:

Notice how small the opening is. (btw, that’s above the door frame. I can’t get photobucket to cooperate with rotating the pic)Yes, she’s a small cat–but she’s not that small. However, she was up for the challenge.

Monday afternoon Fishdog comes upstairs and asks “Have you seen Ginger? I swear I hear her mewling, but she’s not under the house.”

Nope. Hadn’t seen her.

So we start searching. We looked outside. Maybe she popped through a hole a screen and was on the roof or in a tree. Nope. We looked in every up high nook and cranny and even under the beds. Nothing. We searched in the dryer, in all the cabinets, in all the closets. Nada.

But we could still hear her faint mewling.

We were very still, listening intently. That’s when we realized it sounded like she was here:
Yes, she was in the drop down ceiling. Sigh.

We tried to coax her out with food, but she couldn’t seem to make her way to the opening. And the longer we listened to her mewl, the more we realized she was no longer in the ceiling…she had fallen down the wall.

So, guess what we did Monday afternoon? Here, let me show u it:




ah. the things we do for love…

So, who wants to caption my LOLCat Picture. The one in the wall would be a perfect choice, don’t ya think? The winner will get full credit on my blog and win a copy of Gena Showalter’s The Darkest Night and MarelyMarley Gibson’s (aka Kate Harmon) Zeta or Omega.

Caption away.
ETA: I’ll choose the winner on Cinco de Mayo! That’s Monday y’all!

march four–post the second

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First of all, here was the house this morning around 8:00:

And here it is just 6 hours later.

Arkansas is truly bizarre.

In other news–Ian has his 8th grade graduation pictures today. How handsome is he?

And Rader took a picture without making a face, so we need to remember this day in history.

And Pete and Ruby had fun tromping in the fluffy stuff this morning.

Pete especially.

yawn…

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I woke up at 5:55 this morning. Would somebody please tell my body it’s the weekend and I don’t have to take the kids to school? Ruby and I slept downstairs last night because my room looks like it was the victim of a tornado. I’ve cleaned out all my drawers and am purging through the copious amounts of t-shirts we have. I mean really, who needs a chest and a dresser full of t-shirts?

Ruby is doing better, thanks for asking. Best $10 I ever spent. She’s had 3 phantom yelping episodes since Thursday, but that’s better than the every five minute episodes.

At 6:12 this morning, both boys got out of bed. Would somebody please tell them it’s the weekend and to go the fark back to bed?

Mark was supposed to come home yesterday from Oxford, but he got caught up in work, so he’s heading home this morning. He says he’s gonna leave before 8. Anyone wanna take bets on what time he actually leaves?

Well, I guess since I’m up, I may as well make the most of it and finish my room. I hate cleaning, but the house is a pit so I should get to it.

Have a happy Saturday!

anal expressions

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I am not talking about anal retentiveness. I wish I was…

I am not talking in pornographic terms. I know, y’all are disappointed.

I am talking about my sweet little Ruby and her anal glands.

Good lord. She’s in pain. I knew she wasn’t quite right yesterday: she was overly needy and lethargic. She’s a little vacuum cleaner so I figured she’d just eaten something that didn’t agree with her, like a rock or a hot wheel.

But no. She waited until after all the vets were closed to start these other weird ass symptoms.

Like phantom yelping. She would be sound asleep and then suddenly, without any prompting from me, jump up and start this awful yelping and turning in circles.

This went on every 10 minutes for the next 5 hours.

I started researching. Who needs vet school when we have the internets?

Sure enough, it looks like chicky-poo has some blocked anal glands. I found instructions on how to express those glands and trust me, after 5 hours of painful phantom yelping, you’d try to do this yourself as well.

It was a total failure. So I took her to bed, where she spent the next hour yelping in my ear. She wouldn’t sleep down by my feet like she usually does. No, she had to be near my face. After an hour and massive hearing loss, Ruby spent the night in her cage. I closed my door, and slept like a baby.

We’re off to the vet this morning. Hopefully she’ll get her glands cleaned out and I’ll get my life back without my shadow.